A EMAIL FROM MY BM -

[wbmama]

A little background - I called BM's ex husband - cause we thought she was dieing and we were worried about SS - BM has an older child with her Ex husband and we knew he would know what was going on. I was honest and upfront with him about who I was and why I was calling. He was very nice to be and told me she wasn't sick - she had pulled that before.

SO....this is a portion of a email I recieved from her. Keep in mind she is a 40 plus year old woman who is somewhat intelligent.

I changed my husband's name to DH and my SS's name to SS.

WBMAMA,

Man,, before I can halfway respond to one email you send another, patience is not one of your better qualities, huh....

I did respond to your email earlier this am, apparently you did not get it or chose to ignore it or maybe I could not drop everything I was doing and respond right away.....Firstly this email angers me, this is your personality, evil and mean spirited...as far as me or DHor anything relating to either, you would not know the truth if it hit you between the eyes..you have DH's point of view which is great but HIS...the past is that and you can not change it regardless of what color you try to paint it......this email from you is again unwarranted.....More than ever you make me think the only reason you even sent that email was so that it would "appear" you want to get along when in actuallity you do not...

As far as you talking to (my ex husband),he thinks you are a stalker and a lunatic,,,,ask him since you think you are his new best friend....how cute you are to pretend to be an atty regarding "SS when nothing you talked about had to do with SS at all.....(my ex husband) thinks a lot of SS and knows him even better than you or DH, he was worried something was wrong with SS so do not do that to (my ex husband) again....also I get along very well with his girlfriend and we have a great relationship even though this is none of your business.....I can assure you that if you call (my ex husband) again he will have a few "choice" words for you.....he knows what is going on and the whole problem you have with me is the fact you have lost my trust and cannot get access to my personal business, believe me (my ex husband) is not stupid....I cannot believe you......no I would never talk to your exhusband I feel no need to really know anything more the the person you have shown yourself to be......

HOW LUCKY I AM...DH and I did just fine until you tried to convince him I was such a pregnant dog....pot calling the kettle black.....DH and I get along well and have always as far as SS is concerned until you try to put yourself in the middle of it......drop in the bucket, again you have no idea about anything....were you there, I did not think so....why do you have to be so mean and angry and hurtful...is this the way you are around my son?

My behavior is a direct ripple from the nuts the two of you have put on me the last year or so.....a reaction caused by an action.......YOU NEED TO KEEP IN MIND, just because you want something a certain way or because you put it on paper absolutely does not make it so.......

As far as DH and "the paths he decides to take" I am glad he is now in a stable place in his life, I have never not wanted him to happy and I am glad he has your support as he will probably need it at some point down the road, but if you want to be supportive encourage him to be SS's Dad, not screw offf because you hate me and he is angry with me.....you should have told him last weekend to get SS, his relationship with me has nothing to do with his time with SS......

I HAVE ALWAYS CONSIDERED WHAT IS BEST FOR SS, HE HAS BEEN MY PRIORITY FROM DAY ONE AND ALWAYS WILL BE.....

[wbmama]

by the way - sh*t turns to nuts on the board

[jusdntundstn]

Not lashing at you wbmama, but if bm and dh dont communicate on a respectable level why the need to be persistant that you'll be able to communicate with her on that level? Time to stop beatin the dead horse and get on with your life. YOu are abusin the KILLEMWIThKINDNESS Bit by callin the EX husband..Omg I understand being worried about the child but come on wbmama. I hope that wasnt your idea to call him..cuz if it was woman ur doin to much.

[wbmama]

Well...I know that was too much. HOWEVER, my DH believed with all of his heart that BM was dieing of cancer. Many of our decisions on how to handle the situation was based on the fact that WE thought she was going to DIE....this went on for a year! Calling her ex husband was the varification that we needed that she wasn't sick. It was a great thing for my dh - he gain a whole new perspective.

This email is 6 months old. And she is a pathalogical liar. What she's saying about me isn't true. I was just wanting to give an example - maybe its not a good one since you don't get to see the whole story.

[jusdntundstn]

They need to see what liars, and witches these bm's are. It opens their eyes to a whole new idea of how vindictive they can be.

[Keia1]

WBMAMA....this woman knows how to push your buttons and you are letting....she thinks you are obessed with her.....calling her ex-husband.........her ex husband....his point of view or whatever has nothing to do with you....Also you are in direct violation of the HIPPA law trying to find out confidential health information about BM, she can sue...her ex may help....not being funny but you need to get yourself a hobby and leave this woman alone. She does not intend to patronize you or DH not now or ever....she is decided.......LET IT GO. As far as her being a b*tch....let her be.....you can't be anything but what you are. Leave the handling of affairs involving her too DH....you are entirely too involved....I would be concerned about that too if I were her........if anybody (and nobody should have) should have called her ex it shouldn't been DH....you have no place in her business. I suspect your issues have been caused by crossing the line of interference....she may be a piece of work but who cares...YOU HAVE YOUR MAN..... QUIT SWEATING HER AND SWEAT (IN A GOOD WAY IF U KNOW WHAT I MEAN YOUR MAN.

[nomoredrama]

I would not have contacted BM's ex-husband (is that her 2nd ex?). If DH was concerned about BM's health, he could have contacted BM's ex...I would not have inserted myself into that.

My DH's BM contacted my dad (before he passed away) talking mess about me & DH. First I was surprised and then pissed off. I was like, is she crazy? I am a grown woman...What does she look like running to tell my daddy on me??? I have never tried to contact BM or anyone else associated with her. It is like walking thru a mine field...you know that you are going to get blown up.

I would definitely stay away from your DH's ex. I know that you were concerned about your SS but next time I would leave it up to your DH to handle.

[wbmama]

Well, I really shouldn't have posted this email. It seems that you can't see the whole picture - and understandably so.

If you believed your child's main care giver was on drugs - what lengths would you go to to find the truth?

BM showed up at our house one time barely able to walk - shaking all over - we saw pill bottles in her car.
She had a machine of some sort around her waist on 2 occassions. Calling the ex was worth every second of that conversation and I would do it all over again. And there was a reason I did it and DH didn't.

BM and this ex had been divorced for 10 plus years. She had always made claims he was a dead beat dad - now we see the picture.

And I don't care what you say ---- if you're dealing with crazy that you think is going to die soon (as she told us) you're going to handle the situation differently than if the crazy was just plain crazy,
Once the compassion (from us) came outta the situation, it was easier for DH (especially) to deal with.

No regrets. Like Dr. Phil says - "People with nothing to hide - hide nothing".

The only reason she got pissed is because we found out the truth about the cancer. That's it. The b*tch got BUSTED!

I just wanted to point out all of her name calling - which I HAVE NEVER DID TO HER!

She was busted and pissed - even though DH told her that he asked me to call.

[nomoredrama]

We don't see the whole picture....All of us go thru so much and we barely scratch the surface of it on this website...I am certain you had a good reason for calling. When I read the email, I just kept looking for the BM to sound "crazy." I could not find it in the letter. But, you only posted a portion of the email, right? We (or at least I) did not get a clear picture of all that actually transpired. In the end, you were able to determine that the BM in fact did not have cancer so it took a load off of yours & your DH's mind. That is what matters.

But, if BM is threatening you, continue to watch your back. I have found out from first hand experience that some BMs will resort to violence, so be careful with this situation. I don't want you posting about being physically attacked by her. The verbal attacks are enough.

[wbmama]

what makes her email so crazy is its FULL of lies about me and DH and her ex....

[memyslfnI]

Well wbmama if you suspected the mother of your ss was on drugs, why hasn't ur dh taken the kids? Whats the hold up? If the custodial parent is a druggie, wouldn't this place the child in an unstable environment? Why keep giving this woman chances?

[wbmama]

Tried - Children's Welfare - doesn't view illegal drugs as being full of perscription drugs.

She's not playing the "I'm dieing" game anymore -

[nomoredrama]

That is a cruel joke that she played....It is especially cruel on her children. Can you imagine the emotional turmoil she put the children thru? That is jut crazy!

[wbmama]

I worry about her karma.