How much could she get?

[angelnmo]

In my case, my then boyfriend's jumpoff knew about me and thought that getting pregnant would tip the scales in her favor. It didn't and she is bitter. The rest is history! And before anyone says that I should be angry with my man and not the other woman, I'm not mad at her. I handled him accordingly and made it very clear that if he were to cheat on me ever again, I would give him an instant castration and then leave his a$$. As for the BM, I feel sorry for her and sympathize with her situation. I understand what it feels like to be betrayed by a man and feel like a fool. We both were played for fools. The only difference between us was that she knew about me but I didn't know about her and I chose to use protection each and every time I was with him, just so I wouldn't end up in her situation.

[nomoredrama]

There are two reasons for deception...get pregnant for money or to keep a man. But, I feel that some men are more concerned with satisfying their small head and don't think with their big head. My DH's baby's mama was not in an OFFICIAL relationship with him when she got pregnant. They had broken up due to her infidelity but then they started sleeping together again because he said it was easy "you know what". BM took herself of birth control pills to get pregnant (her own admission). But, even still he was thinking with his small head and not his big head. After the baby is born, it is irrelevant how or why BM got pregnant. The man has to accept his role in the creation. He made a stupid decision but he has to live with it after the child was born.

One thing that I respect about my DH is that he has never told me that he was "trapped." He only told me that he did not love his BM. When we were dating, BM called me to try to convince me to break up with him. His BM told ME she took herself off her birth control pills for 2 weeks to get pregent. She told me what she did when he & I got together hoping to convince me that he was only using me to make her jealous. But, he learned his lesson though. It taught him not to place make it the woman's responsibilty to make sure that no pregnancy resulted.

[angelnmo]

Yes, my fiance also never called himself trapped. He admitted to thinking with the "little head" and making the biggest mistake of his life trusting birth control in the woman's hands and believing whatever she told him. He deeply regrets ever getting with this woman, and wishes that he would have been wiser. The only reason the "how" becomes important in this story is because the BM is telling lies. She is telling everyone that they were in this exclusive relationship, and that he actually left her when she was 4 or 5 months pregnant. This was not the case. He broke it off and left her for good. But then 4 months later, she calls and tells him that she is pregnant and he needs to "do the right thing and marry her" even if he didn't love her. Now why would a mother want to subject her child to a loveless marriage?

[destini1969]

You are absolutely correct a child should not be in a loveless marriage that only makes it worse for the child and everyone else involved. But of course, I am more concerned about the child because it did not choose to be born.

Your man is right by not marrying her, that would have been another mistake. At least he is there to take care of his child.

[lovejones08]

Ok guys I agree and disagree with what you all are saying. Yes, women can be spiteful and lie about birth control and they can't have kids but how old are those tricks. Blackbible I do feel your pain because my DH2B lives with his decision everyday, but bottomline if men took more time to know a woman because she will show her character soon enough (can't hide forever) they would see signs of this craziness.

Men need to refrain from joining the nookie club because there are women out there trying to get the next dollar or trying to make a man's life hell after he finds a new woman. My DH2B was having problems before I came along but it got 10 times worse on his azz when he found happiness with me. When you bring yourself to the point when you stop blaming her totally for the situation and understand your decision as well then it may allow you to have a better look at the situation to handle her azz in a smart way.

You said it "YOU LOVE YOUR DAUGHTER" so you will be putting up with this woman in order to love or daughter and be in her life. We need to start doing more than just looking at attributes when fooling with folks because they can be crazy! If you have a son teach him this - Yes my child if you see a woman and she's looking all good smellin all good smiling real pretty everything else sitting and poking out real pretty- come back down to reality be cautious when approaching because you may be her next vicitim.

Men should be more careful with their sperm and stop being the mouse getting caught in the mouse trap. So yes Blackbible maybe you are right about her trapping you but you made the decision to allow yourself to be trapped. When a mouse gets caught in a trap what is the process of this. Ok, he sees the cheese, it looks so tasty, juicy and thick, good enough to eat. He sees the trap but he thinks he may be able to out smart the potential mechanisms of the trap. Then he contemplates how to get that piece of cheese and looks at it from a distance. The cheese is calling his name as he approaches, but he does have a choice to turn his azz around and take more time to find something else that doesn't have all of these potential stipulations. He says i got to have that piece of cheese then goes in for the kill.

There he goes head first his teeth and tongue gets a quick taste of the cheese and his azz is clamp down like he is about to serve his death row sentenced.- Moral- leave that piece a cheese alone when you see potential problems and take time to see if you really want to risk everything for that one piece of cheese that will eventually spoil when it gets too hot! Just something to think about. Keia you slay me you are slap knee funny - no comments to add to your response LOL!!!

[Keia1]

Love jones I actually agree with you on this...good job for finally doing what I've been waiting on someone to do...CALL THESE MEN OUT FOR PUTTING THEMSELVES IN THE SITUATION....everyone is so quick to jump on BM but DH played a role in it too. I agree with you....nothing else to add.

[angelnmo]

Yeah, I agree too. Well said. Men are such dumbasses sometimes. Always going for the instant gratification instead of the lady that demands a little work. Always going for the bright and shiny fools gold instead of the diamond in the ruff. Always being lured by the loud and obnoxious instead of the quiet and demure. Always wanting the big ass and tits squeezed into dimestore clothing instead of the well dressed lady. Sometimes there is no accounting for taste!!