How can I stop her?

[nomoredrama]

Most states take into account the child support BD paying for other children and any children in the home. I think her DH will be fine. BM may actually screw herself in the end...If child support she is receiving (I am assuming no court order in place) is more than what law allows based on his income, she may actually receive less per month. That has been known to happen.

[saj2777]

There is no way my husband would short change his other children...because I wouldn't let him. I know the BM's may have it hard, but there is nothing worse than feeling like my husband and I are about to be "had" by some greedy BM....And i say greedy because there is really no reason for her to think that her kid won't be "getting anything" when ours arrives....we've never given her any reason to think that. But you know what...it's alright. She won't be getting what she thinks she will get if that info tellitlikeitis gave is on point. It's sad though...because it just gives me another reason not to want to be the adult in this situation and keep quiet.

[saj2777]

P.S.....There is no court order in place for either one of my stepkids....we never needed one. We actually get the short end of the stick in the case of my SD because my husband pays CS to her mom faithfully, but she only lets my SD visit when she gets the urge to....which is something like once every blue moon...try around Christmas 2007 and maybe 3 weeks ago!

[nomoredrama]

Saj, if you don't mind saying, what state are you from?

[saj2777]

Louisiana...and I checked but i couldn't find a CS calculator specific to us.

[nomoredrama]

Here are excerpts from Louisiana's child support enforcement office regarding determination of child support amounts:

"Gross income includes income from any source, including salaries, wages, commissions, bonuses, dividends, severance pay, pensions, interest, trust income, annuities, capital gains, social security benefits, worker's compensation benefits, unemployment insurance benefits, disability insurance benefits, and spousal support received from a pre-existing spousal support obligation.

The gross income of each parent should be used when determining a child support award as specified below and entered on Line 1 of the Obligation Worksheet. The income of a spouse is not considered in this calculation.

The basic child support obligation is calculated considering the following factors:

The amount of any preexisting court order for child support and spousal support paid is deducted from the gross income of the non-custodial parent.
Net child care costs incurred due to employment or job search (minus the value of the federal tax credit for child care) is added to the basic obligation.
If either parent carries health insurance for the child(ren) due support, the cost of that coverage is added to the basic child support obligation.
A provision may also be made for extraordinary expenses of a child, such as medical or special or private schooling needs, by agreement of the parties or order of the court."

[nomoredrama]

You can also look at Louisiana's Support Guideline Schedule which shows the amount of child support assigned based on gross monthly pay (before deductions from income):

www.dss.state.la.us/departments/ofs/Child_Support_Award_Guidelines.html

[saj2777]

Thanks tellit! The only thing thats throwing me off is that we don't have any preexisting court orders for CS on my SD....he just pays and has been faithfully for a long time...so if the other BM files and we don't have that order it looks like the money he spends on my SD doesn't count as an expense....

[nomoredrama]

Do you keep the receipts? If you have records of the monthly payments, you should be able to claim it.

[nomoredrama]

Saj, the support does not have to be court ordered....You just need to have the receipts (proof) showing the support provided to the child.

[nomoredrama]

Louisiana does not have a child support calculator....They have an Obligation Worksheet A (form SES 330)....It is on Louisiana's child support website.

[saj2777]

We've got plenty of receipts! Thanks tellit! You just reduced my stress level!

[Keia1]

Receipts will not stop the court from ordering child support. Anything not legal...is considered a gift to the child. Check on this tellit...but the federal law I believe is in cases of unmarried parents the mother has no legal claim to support unless she pursues cs enforcement or files a paternity suit. As far as calling the woman greedy...she is NOT. She may not know how your going to change or if your going to change after the baby and is simply safeguarding hers. If she gets less so what....apparently she is fine with that she probably just wants something legal and binding. It's her business if she does..it may not even impact you and DH that much it's only 1 child.

[nomoredrama]

Keia, she is not trying to stop child support....The law states that anything "outside of child support" is considered a gift. In her case, there is not a court order for child support. The BD pays the BM directly. In that case, if he has receipts of monthly payments, the courts will allow it. People are not required to have court ordered child support. A lot of people have a gentleman's agreement.

[nomoredrama]

But, I had another thought Saj. Perhaps your DH can write a statement promising to pay child support to the BM until the child is 18 years old. He can get the statement notarized. This is admissible in court. If DH falls behind on the child support payment, the BM could then go to child support for a court order and with the agreement, she can collect back child support back to the last date the child support payment was received. The BM may even be able to file the agreement with the courts in your state.

Your DH can propose this to the BM. This will give her peace of mind that her child will not go without support from his/her dad just because you have another child. There are a plenty of sample agreements online. If your DH also provides health & dental insurance, he can even agree to provide health/insurance until child reaches 18 years old (or 21 depending on your state's laws).