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Post by wbmama on Apr 28, 2008 7:20:48 GMT -5
I'd really like to hear some feed back from the board on what's going on now with BM.......
-Court Order visitation in place -C/S in place
AGAINST the court order - BM has deleted her email account (court order says she and DH should give 411 via email) - BM has cut off her home phone number (against court order)
Still have BM's cell phone number - hasn't answered a call from DH in a week. Even think SS had medical procedure last week - no word from her.
So what does DH do?
She has no respect for the Court Order which she signed! She doesn't care if DH has a relationship with his son. She is mean mean mean! I love it how she harps on doing the best for her son - and she pulls sh*t like this.
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Post by nomoredrama on Apr 28, 2008 9:49:04 GMT -5
Ya know my DH & I have been there. You said that your DH & you were pulling back & I think that is the best decision. What I have learned from Keia1 is that BMs try to pull rank to exert their power. This is BMs way of pulling rank. She is trying to show you & DH what she has the POWER to do. And, you know what? She is going to claim that she HAD to change her email address & phone # because of you.
I would not try to contact her anymore. You are like me & love your step-child...You want to be a part of his life and I completely understand. Try letting your DH deal with the BM exclusively to see if their relationship improves. Give it a trial period.
I know your DH is upset about not being able to contact his child. The key is documentation, documentation, documentation.
** This is the wonderful advice that I have gotten from the board. Like JUSDN said, I do feel like a weight has been lifted off of my shoulders now that I have started a NO CONTACT policy.... Thank you Jusdn ***
BM called this weekend, I did not answer the phone. She did not leave a message, so it obviously was not important. DH will be home soon so he can deal with her when necessary.
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Post by wbmama on Apr 28, 2008 10:24:30 GMT -5
Yeah - I'm not dealing with her anymore. She's going to blame me for anything no matter what. DH has contacted his attorney. She's in contempt of the every little piece of the court order and could go to jail (shows what's most important for her).
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Post by nomoredrama on Apr 28, 2008 10:56:02 GMT -5
Are you in the same state as the BM? If you are, it is easier for the courts to enforce the custody agreement.
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Post by wbmama on Apr 28, 2008 12:06:21 GMT -5
yep - same state. Not too close though
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Post by awsomalx on Apr 28, 2008 16:54:32 GMT -5
Yeah - I'm not dealing with her anymore. She's going to blame me for anything no matter what. DH has contacted his attorney. She's in contempt of the every little piece of the court order and could go to jail (shows what's most important for her). She won't go anywhere near a jail cell. At most, the judge will repeat to her that she must follow the court orders, if he says that much. The courts that establish CS does not have a say in the Visitation issue. Yes they can set it up when the CS is ordered but they don't enfore it. That is taken up by an entirely different court and they could not care less. Only thing the "courts" are focused on is making sure that money is sent in.
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Post by cloudy752001 on Apr 28, 2008 17:57:59 GMT -5
In my state, I have seen people be held in contempt if they donot follow a court ordered visitation. A warrant will be issued for their arrest and they better NOT get stopped by the police in a routine traffic stop or get the law called on them for any reason because their ass will be taken in after they run their information and find that warrant. But it is up to the parent requesting the visitation to stay on top of the order and to let the court know that the other parent is not complying with that order. They don't play over here!
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Post by memyslfni on Apr 28, 2008 18:39:33 GMT -5
No prob tellit, I'm here to learn and give the most honest, realest advise as possible and if u need to holla on a more personal U know how to do it....jusdntundstn is startin to undstn..Thanks everybody..Also ya'll keep in mind that due to fact that we have the opionions of Wifey's/Gf's/Bm's/CBm's/Bd's on this site. It aint always going to be peaches and cream. Rather than attack try ask more questions as to why that person thinks the screwed up way they do...Now That's One To Grow On...LOL...
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Post by destini1969 on Apr 28, 2008 22:14:21 GMT -5
Step back....
That is the stand my DH and I are trying to take, even though I folded today and answered her freaking text message. She is blaming me for my DH not being a part of his child's life. I had to explain to her again, it was her using the child as a pawn. She still didn't get it.
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Post by wbmama on Apr 29, 2008 5:29:41 GMT -5
I'm glad somebody else see's how they use their child as "Pawns"
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Post by nomoredrama on Apr 29, 2008 6:58:49 GMT -5
My brother obtained custody of his children when his ex continually violated the custody agreement. She would not show up at the meeting place when it was his visitation time...She wouldn't be home (or wouldn't answer the phone) when he called to speak to the kids...She would taunt him saying that she had custody & could do what she wanted to do. He documented everything and would file in the against her. The judge warned his ex 3-4 times that she had to abide by the court order or he would take custody from her. My bro's ex did not think the judge would TRULY do it because she was the mom. Around the 3 or 4th time she violated it, the judge took custody of the kids away from her & awarded it to my bro. Now his ex has visitation & has to pay him child support. ** My bro & his ex live in the same state ** But, I have found it is much easier to sue for custody or to amend an standing court order when both parents reside in the same state, or at least within the continental US.
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Post by wbmama on Apr 29, 2008 7:43:06 GMT -5
I would love to fight the big fight. Meaning big - I mean big money - big stress - big pain in the a**! Is it really worth it? She'll aways cause some sort of problems though. Even if we get custody - she'll have visitation and still be a major pain in our a**!!
How far do you let it go? When is enough enough? - wait this should be a new post!
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Post by destini1969 on Apr 29, 2008 22:11:29 GMT -5
My brother obtained custody of his children when his ex continually violated the custody agreement. Hey Tellitlikeitis, that was an awesome judge that was doing his job! That is great news for your brother. What state is that? Your brother's case is too far and too few in between. Wbmama has a point though! Still have to deal with the CBM and that's like doing LIFE in prison. Never ending.
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