Post by mei on Apr 30, 2008 13:56:56 GMT -5
A month after I started dating my boyfriend, he found out that a girl with whom he had had passing physical relationship (ie she was an occasional booty call) was pregnant with his child. Let me clarify. 7 months prior to telling him she was pregnant, the last time they hooked up the condom broke. He called her the next morning, and she told him "not to worry". She hid her pregnancy from everyone until she had no choice, and then when she found out he was dating me, told him about the baby. So he was the last to know.
It gets worse. She is 20 now, was 19 at the time, unemployed, little education, no car, no means of supporting this child. She lives in a decrepit, rundown hovel of a house with...8 other people (family members). Only two of them have jobs...her father, who supports everyone, and her sister who is a manager at a movie theatre. I've been to the house several times, and it is absolutely disgusting. Mold on the walls, smells like cat piss, dirty clothes everywhere, insects crawling around in the bathroom (I wouldn't even touch the toilet). Holes through the walls. A half-drained cesspool of malaria in the backyard that they call a pool.
And a crackhead uncle living in a trailer in the backyard too. No, seriously. He panhandles and smokes crack. I'm not making this up.
I've tried to be nice to her, I made a legitimate effort to get to know her as a person, rather than the BM, and she's basically spit in my face on several occasions. So I've had my claws out at her too (yes, I haven't exactly been the bigger person since my attempt to get to know her was rejected).
However, I am legitimately concerned about the welfare of this child. There is a lot of pot that moves in and out of the house, and I know that the grandfater keeps a (locked) closet full of guns. Not to mention the less-than-sanitary conditions.
My boyfriend has done his best to be a good father to the child, despite the fact that he despises the BM. He goes over every couple of weeks and spends time with the baby, who is 9 months old at this point. The baby seems happy and healthy (although it took retard BM 4 months to figure out that she needed to cut his fingernails...the first time I saw him poor kid had scratches all over his face because she didn't realize that. I have no strong affinity towards raising a child and even IIIII knew that).
My boyfriend agrees that the conditions in which the child lives are less-than-ideal and not particularly healthy. The problem is, he can't call CPS because he has strong ties to the whole family (he grew up being best friends with BM's older brother, and has gone over there every year for Thanksgiving, Xmas, etc, since he was in 6th grade).
I however have no strong loyalty to the family (I think they are losers and disgusting people in general, and I hate BM with a passion) and think the kid would be much better off elsewhere. My boyfriend has no money/space/means of taking care of the child where he is right now, so "elsewhere" would mean foster care.
I don't want to cause drama, but the conditions really are that bad.
Stuck between a rock and a hard place, please help!!!
It gets worse. She is 20 now, was 19 at the time, unemployed, little education, no car, no means of supporting this child. She lives in a decrepit, rundown hovel of a house with...8 other people (family members). Only two of them have jobs...her father, who supports everyone, and her sister who is a manager at a movie theatre. I've been to the house several times, and it is absolutely disgusting. Mold on the walls, smells like cat piss, dirty clothes everywhere, insects crawling around in the bathroom (I wouldn't even touch the toilet). Holes through the walls. A half-drained cesspool of malaria in the backyard that they call a pool.
And a crackhead uncle living in a trailer in the backyard too. No, seriously. He panhandles and smokes crack. I'm not making this up.
I've tried to be nice to her, I made a legitimate effort to get to know her as a person, rather than the BM, and she's basically spit in my face on several occasions. So I've had my claws out at her too (yes, I haven't exactly been the bigger person since my attempt to get to know her was rejected).
However, I am legitimately concerned about the welfare of this child. There is a lot of pot that moves in and out of the house, and I know that the grandfater keeps a (locked) closet full of guns. Not to mention the less-than-sanitary conditions.
My boyfriend has done his best to be a good father to the child, despite the fact that he despises the BM. He goes over every couple of weeks and spends time with the baby, who is 9 months old at this point. The baby seems happy and healthy (although it took retard BM 4 months to figure out that she needed to cut his fingernails...the first time I saw him poor kid had scratches all over his face because she didn't realize that. I have no strong affinity towards raising a child and even IIIII knew that).
My boyfriend agrees that the conditions in which the child lives are less-than-ideal and not particularly healthy. The problem is, he can't call CPS because he has strong ties to the whole family (he grew up being best friends with BM's older brother, and has gone over there every year for Thanksgiving, Xmas, etc, since he was in 6th grade).
I however have no strong loyalty to the family (I think they are losers and disgusting people in general, and I hate BM with a passion) and think the kid would be much better off elsewhere. My boyfriend has no money/space/means of taking care of the child where he is right now, so "elsewhere" would mean foster care.
I don't want to cause drama, but the conditions really are that bad.
Stuck between a rock and a hard place, please help!!!
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