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Post by angelnmo on May 1, 2008 23:36:49 GMT -5
I don't know if any of you have experienced this, but here goes.
Just last week, the baby called me mama. I am torn as to what to do. I am in no way trying to replace the baby's mother, and feel uncomfortable having her call me mom. The baby is only about 14 months old. Most likely, she will grow out of it, but in the meantime, what do I do??
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Post by cloudy752001 on May 2, 2008 1:15:07 GMT -5
She sees you as a mother figure. A lot of children that age will see the people who are currently with their parents as mommy or daddy. Just go with the flow and she will probably grow out of it like you said. But if she continues to see you she may look up to you as a mommy #2. Try to help her make up a cute nickname (ie MaiMai or something like that) so that it won't seem like you're trying to have her call you mommy. But I think it's cute when babies begin to relate people. She's to young to correct right now.
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Post by angelnmo on May 2, 2008 2:08:16 GMT -5
That's what I was thinking about doing. Coming up with a cute nickname and using it around her so that she will learn to call me by the nickname.
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Post by wbmama on May 2, 2008 4:26:21 GMT -5
Yeah. like cloudy said, its so normal!!! Don't make a big deal about it either...she's young. Even my 7 year old has starting referring to her step dad as "dad". She doesn't call him that - she says she has 2 daddys.
Like I tell my kids "You can't have too me people in the world who love you."
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Post by destini1969 on May 2, 2008 15:04:44 GMT -5
I agree with everyone else, don't worry about her calling you mama. That's great that the child is experiencing that kind of love/relationship with you. Let her call you that for now and when she becomes older she will give you a name that is most comfortable with you.
For many years my mother tried to get my then one year old daughter to call her gran' ma-ma and needless to say my daughter said forget that your name is Bannie! Now to this day 19 years later my daughter calls my mother Bannie!
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Post by saj2777 on May 2, 2008 16:17:34 GMT -5
I've got a story...while the BM was in one of her "giving" moods, DH and I were able to keep my SD for the weekend. Well, this was around Christmas and it just so happened that DH and I rode seperatley to pick out our live Christmas tree...me and SD in the car, and DH in the truck to tote the tree. So SD and I are talking (she was about to be 5) and she asks, "Are you mommy?" Now mind you the BM is crazy, even though my DH and I have been married for some time now, she refuses to teach my SD about having a SM and her daddy's marriage to me. I know she would rather that I not exist...but anyway. So at this point, I told my SD yes and that she had two mommies..and that she was lucky to have us both. She was so excited that when the BM called to check on her, she told her mommy that she now had 2 mommies....(she repeats everything, which is fine with me). Well, needless to say, the BM threw a fit and threatened to come and pick the child up because "what DH and I are teaching her is wrong". Mind you that, as soon as we arrived home with our Christmas tree I told DH what happened and he was thrilled. So the both of us had a sit down with my SD to go over things and make her comfortable. But it was a while before the crazy BM decided it was okay for my SD to come visit again. God only knows what the BM teaches her about us at home...but it is obvious that these kids are going to be curious...and will feel the need to relate to you.
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Post by nomoredrama on May 2, 2008 20:17:48 GMT -5
I have grappled with that...I never wanted my stepchild to call me "mom." For one, I knew that due to her mom & my history, her mom would be offended & it would have started more drama. Another reason is that I would NEVER want my children calling anyone else "mom" as long as I was fulfilling the role of mom.
My stepson asked me if he could call me mom. I told him no, call me "SMOM" (stepmom). I did not want to offend his mom. She was down on her luck & I did not want her thinking that I was trying to take her place.
I grew up with my aunt and she made certain that I knew that she was my aunt & not my mom. My aunt was my mom's sister & she knew that my mom would be offended...I appreciated that.
My mother in law told my stepchild to call me "mom" one day & I corrected her. I explained to her that I was not her "mom" and did not want my stepchild confused.
I love my stepchild like she is my own but I am content with her calling me by my first name.
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