|
|
Post by madshy on Mar 19, 2012 6:36:40 GMT -5
New to this so bare with me. I've been with a man that has two kids with two different mothers for almost a year now. One of the bm's I'm actually cool with but the other one is a pain in I disagree. So my situation is how do I deal with her. Because he has moved on she is very upset. The year we been together. She has kept her daughter away from him for half of the year because he has a girlfriend. Sometimes I feel bad and maybe I should have took myself out of the picture bcuz as a good father I hate that I'm the reason why he doesn't see her. But I love him. But recently she's been letting him see her and talk to her on the phone. But, the other day me and him had a day out with his daughter. The park, Ice cream, etc... So when it's time to take the baby home, we head to her house and drop her off. When he gets in the car she's calling calling calling asking who dropped off the baby with you. Of course he tells her it's me. She then starts screaming about how she doesn't want me around her child and how he's choosing his girlfriend over the baby. Then tells him that because he is with me he won't see his daughter nemore. She's a crazy one I tell ya. So then facebooks me (on her young girl nuts) and is talking about how she's stil having sex and that he's never gonna stop leave her alone. How they do there dirt everytime she drops off the baby. Oh and how she might b pregnant. How she will always b first because she has his first daughter. She can have him any time she wants. He denies it and I do believe him but it's like why??? Like is he not suppose to move on. She's had plenty of boyfriends since her daughters been born. And he has never argued about the baby being around them. Somebody please let me know how I should handle her because it obvious she's a time bomb
|
|
|
|
Post by Guest on Mar 20, 2012 2:03:34 GMT -5
I first want to say that you are not the reason he doesn't see his child, his BM is making that choice so she is reason. At this point, there is not anything for you to handle. Your boyfriend must handle this if he wants to be in a relationship with someone. People are going to do things, like calling and contacting on facebook and stuff, but your boyfriend needs to address it. As long as he is addressing it correctly, let her have her little tantrums. She will have to get over it. In the meantime, there is no problem with your being around your boyfriends child. He has rights and he needs to enforce them, she can't keep his child from him. But if I were you I wouldn't even address her and let the boyfriend address it, and if he doesn't then you need address him by letting him go.
|
|
|
|
Post by jaylady999 on Mar 20, 2012 11:28:59 GMT -5
Totally agree with all of the above
|
|
|
|
Post by madshy on Mar 21, 2012 6:26:40 GMT -5
And I have told him to address it but he always has this story about how she jus is who she is and she's upset bcuz she really jus wants to be with him. And he's not gonna say nething bcuz then it will cause problems and he wont be able to see the baby. But it's like??? Wut about my feelings. I'm gonna hold him down but she's throwing up in my face that she having intercourse with him and I'm jus suppose to take it. Where they do that at??? In the back of my mind bcuz he won't confront her. Now I have doubts... I understand your child but what about the relationship. And it's not hard to go to court and file for visitation rights is it???
|
|
|
|
Post by jaylady999 on Mar 21, 2012 7:14:22 GMT -5
And this is where I believe you have to exercise your own individual options. One of them NOT being having any control over his situation with the BM. Thats his situation to deal with and without trying to be blunt, if you dont think the way he is dealing with is fair to you or you think its disrespectful to you(and I agree on both counts), then you are going to have to base your decision only on the part of the situation you CAN control.  |
|
|
|
Post by madshy on Mar 21, 2012 12:58:49 GMT -5
So today he's supposed to get his daughter and he's been trying to call his baby's mother for the last two days to see if it's official that going to get her today and she's not picking up or has blocked his phone. And this is when though I feel bad part comes in. Sucks!!!
|
|
|
|
Post by jaylady999 on Mar 21, 2012 14:40:31 GMT -5
Oh I would feel bad too. I hate watching men who want to be fathers to their children have to go through this type of BS. Its totally not fair and it hurts the kids more than anything  |
|
|
|
Post by born2badiva on Mar 22, 2012 17:45:30 GMT -5
I know EXACTLY how you feel, im going through a very similar situation. The guy i've been dealing with has nothing to do with his childs mother and she gets mad if she finds out he has a girlfriend and will try to stop him from seeing his child. Its crazy and starting to piss me off. I think you should talk to him and let him know how you feel. He need to put her in his place asap, because if he don't she is going to mess up everything for him (relationship wise) and thats probably her plan anyway.
|
|
|
|
Post by madshy on Mar 23, 2012 16:59:18 GMT -5
Well in the last couple of days it's gone downhill... She already told him and me that he will never see his daughter again. And how she can't believe he's choosing me over his daughter. Something is so wrong with this girl. Mentally!!! I don't know any female that would take there kid away from a father that actually wants to be there. Bcuz of her own personal want such as wanting to b with him. But like y'all said. I am going to keep myself out of that. I will stand by him but I will limit myself to the situation. It will only cause frustration between me an him...
|
|
lark
New Member
Posts: 37
|
Post by lark on Mar 25, 2012 23:44:40 GMT -5
I agree with everyone's advice above. Madshy, you are not alone. I'm dealing with a very possessive and controlling BM too. Fortunately, I have a man who is willing to fight til the end to see his daughter and doesn't take crap from his BM.
|
|
