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Post by born2badiva on Mar 22, 2012 18:39:23 GMT -5
I'm back again. Here is my issue, my BF has a daughter and his BM is soooo spiteful and crazy. She found out that him and I are together, she got mad and wouldn't let him see his daughter for a while. I might be pregnant (had 2 positive pregnancy test). I told him, he was shocked but happy. Now he said that he don't want his BM to know because she would hate him and not let him see his daughter. So basically it seems like he is trying to keep our baby a secret. She is going to find out anyway, so why hide it? He then said its not about me or her but his daughter, but he don't want his BM to know, we then got into an argument and i ended up leaving for a while to calm my nerves. He been honest with me since day one, he says that he haven't had sex with her since June of last year when they "officially broke up" because she was cheating on him with his cousin. It just hurt to know he is hiding something we created. I just don't know what to do.......
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Post by jaylady999 on Mar 22, 2012 23:13:41 GMT -5
I have to say, I agree with him. You having his baby is quite frankly none of her business. I wouldnt be so keen to throw it out there to her either. She'll find out in due time and until then...it would not be such a big deal to tell her IMO.
I had a similar situation, only it was about us getting married and not having a baby. We agreed that he wouldnt disclose to her anything about our wedding until the very last possible moment. It wasnt a big deal that she knew. My marriage to him wasnt about her at all. She found out a month prior to even though we had been planning for over a year and even then, she didnt know the date. She didnt find that out until AFTER it had happened and I wouldnt have had it any other way.
I wouldnt concern myself if I were you about him telling her you guys are having a baby together. What good does it do her to know? Its none of her business. It has nothing to do with her. Eventually, depending on the age of his current child, it will come out. But making a big announcement to BM? Nah, it just wouldnt be on my list of people who needed to know at this point.
Its not like he is denouncing his baby or anything just because he wont tell her right now. He is trying to keep down confusion and I dont blame him. You are giving BM too much importance in your situation by making it an issue that she just 'has' to know. She doesnt. It aint her business.
Girl go enjoy getting ready to have your beautiful baby and let him handle BM however he feels comfortable.
Congrats!!! ;D
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lark
New Member
Posts: 37
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Post by lark on Mar 25, 2012 23:48:53 GMT -5
I agree with Jay. I'm talking from experience. We didnt feel it necessary to tell BM about my pregnancy. Unfortunately, his stepdaughter told and all hell broke loose. She cried, threw a tantrum and went nuts. Your man is just trying to cut down on the drama and the confusion. It really is none of her business, unless you are intentionally trying to make her jealous. In that case, you really are giving BM too much importance in your life.
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Post by mrskristie on Apr 23, 2012 2:00:33 GMT -5
I agree with your man too. In situations like this, it's always best if there is a visitation order in place. You might want to encourage that on behalf of his relationship with his daughter first; not yours. I don't know why SO MANY guys lets their kids moms have so much control over their lives. If you keep throwing fits, you might just lose him thus becoming the ignorant BM.
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