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Post by Phatladyisis on Aug 17, 2013 12:43:42 GMT -5
I have been with my BF for 2 years and BM has always been okay. We helped her when she got a divorce and the stepfather got rights to see my BF daughter. Now she has flipped her lid and is refusing us visitation except when she says we can have it. We have the police involved, filed contempt charges and going to spend $4000.00 on and attorney. She said that she doesn't care what we do they won't put her in jail because she is sick with CF. She is giving the stepfather more right to the daughter that is not even his and my BF and I are more then stress over this whole deal. This whole thing started over my BF finding out that the daughter he was told died by another women is alive and is 17 years old. A seven year difference in the BM child. He didn't even know BM when this child was born. Due to the court battle that is going to ensue we can't talk about this on facebook or twitter we have to stay quiet. I found this site just so I could talk about it without anyone knowing who I am.  |
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Post by downazzchick on Sept 28, 2013 10:01:28 GMT -5
What do you mean you "helped her' during her divorce?
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Post by truthbtold on Oct 1, 2013 13:16:19 GMT -5
What do you mean you "helped her' during her divorce? Good question downazzchick. Not only that, what do you mean "refusing us visitation?" Us? Why are you all up in it? You have no rights. I am not even sure what you mean, starting at "this whole thing....." portion of your post. Honestly, I am not even sure what you are asking/wanting by posting this. |
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Post by jaylady999 on Oct 1, 2013 18:30:10 GMT -5
Yeah, those "we's" and "us's" in a SM's post are really eyeroll worthy. I only coparent with BD. He better not ever come to me with a "we" or an "us" when talking to me LOL
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Post by truthbtold on Oct 1, 2013 20:25:41 GMT -5
Yeah, those "we's" and "us's" in a SM's post are really eyeroll worthy. I only coparent with BD. He better not ever come to me with a "we" or an "us" when talking to me LOL Ha, ha, ha. Word!!! Isn't a "step-parent" assignation technically reserved for spouses as opposed to boyfriends/girlfriends? I was under this impression. Seems like in a great deal of situations, the men aren't even handling it on their own. Instead, they are involving the new woman (and some are ever so eager  ) into their affairs as if they cannot stand on their own. I remember in an older post, you and another poster going at it because you called her husband a coward because the BM was acting up or whatever, so he had the BM then go through his wife's phone to contact him LOL. |
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Post by jaylady999 on Oct 2, 2013 18:42:16 GMT -5
Dang, and I didn't even catch that she is the GF, not the wife. I still won't coparent or do anything resembling coparenting with BD and his wife, but being a GF? Ever worse  And yes, men who don't or can't handle their BMs without getting their GF or wife involved are most definitely cowards. Shoot, is job is to shield me from any nonsense, not put me right in the line of fire. Think of someone shooting at him, and then your man grabs you and puts you right in front of the bullet so that he doesn't get hit. COWARD. UGH! I remember that back and forth with whoever it was, she had the nerve to be offended that I said he was a coward. LOL. Seriously some of these women love the drama. They think its cute trying to prove to the BM that they are in charge of a sitch that has nothing to do with her in the first place. I tell you what, not only am I not in charge of YOUR sitch, I don't even want to be bothered with it either.  BM can have him in the capacity that he is the father to her child(ren), but I get the rest of him. I'm good with that.  |
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Post by downazzchick on Oct 3, 2013 0:08:57 GMT -5
Wow.. Jaylady and truthbtold y'all went all in and i agree with you both but..Real talk tho phatladyisis has been around for 2 years and spent $4000 on her bf and his kids..I'm sure this I why all the we's and us's.. She probably feels that at this point she is "all in" supporting her man 100%.. But reality is Phatladyisis it sounds like this mess was created way before you got in the picture. I'm glad you stopped by to share your story.. I'd actually like to hear more about this 17 yoa he thought. Was dead.. Let us kno the rest of the story if your still hangin around...
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Post by truthbtold on Oct 3, 2013 11:00:26 GMT -5
Wow.. Jaylady and truthbtold y'all went all in and i agree with you both but..Real talk tho phatladyisis has been around for 2 years and spent $4000 on her bf and his kids..I'm sure this I why all the we's and us's.. She probably feels that at this point she is "all in" supporting her man 100%.. But reality is Phatladyisis it sounds like this mess was created way before you got in the picture. I'm glad you stopped by to share your story.. I'd actually like to hear more about this 17 yoa he thought. Was dead.. Let us kno the rest of the story if your still hangin around... Yes that's our point, you can support your man without being all in it like that; on the front lines. Women do waaaay too much in the name of "supporting" or "riding *side-eye*" with their men. Absorbing affairs and issues to the degree that some of these women do, is just unnecessary. A lot of them really need to get a life. I am confident that jaylady does not love her husband any less than some of these women love their boyfriends/husbands, just because she has the God-given sense, maturity, and lack of desire to not be involved in that mess and her husband appears to keep her out of it, as should. |
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Post by truthbtold on Oct 3, 2013 11:03:44 GMT -5
Dang, and I didn't even catch that she is the GF, not the wife. I still won't coparent or do anything resembling coparenting with BD and his wife, but being a GF? Ever worse And yes, men who don't or can't handle their BMs without getting their GF or wife involved are most definitely cowards. Shoot, is job is to shield me from any nonsense, not put me right in the line of fire. Think of someone shooting at him, and then your man grabs you and puts you right in front of the bullet so that he doesn't get hit. COWARD. UGH! LMBO. For real.[/b]
I remember that back and forth with whoever it was, she had the nerve to be offended that I said he was a coward. LOL. Seriously some of these women love the drama. They think its cute trying to prove to the BM that they are in charge of a sitch that has nothing to do with her in the first place. I tell you what, not only am I not in charge of YOUR sitch, I don't even want to be bothered with it either. BM can have him in the capacity that he is the father to her child(ren), but I get the rest of him. I'm good with that. Say it again, sistah. Word!!! |
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Post by jaylady999 on Oct 3, 2013 18:15:22 GMT -5
Yes that's our point, you can support your man without being all in it like that; on the front lines. Women do waaaay too much in the name of "supporting" or "riding *side-eye*" with their men. Absorbing affairs and issues to the degree that some of these women do, is just unnecessary. A lot of them really need to get a life. I am confident that jaylady does not love her husband any less than some of these women love their boyfriends/husbands, just because she has the God-given sense, maturity, and lack of desire to not be involved in that mess and her husband appears to keep her out of it, as should.
Have to agree. I am 12 years in and I NO desire to be involved. To be honest, the drama subsided years ago. I am absolutely convinced that part of the reason BM started acting like she had some sense is because I never entangled myself in her drama. I was a very boring GF/Wife in that sitch. If I had involved myself in that mess, I am pretty sure BMD would still be a part of my life.
Now with that said, my skids are teens now and I have a great relationship with each of them. It just doesn't involve BM. It actually doesn't involve DH either. It is very independent of either of them. I love it
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) into their affairs as if they cannot stand on their own. I remember in an older post, you and another poster going at it because you called her husband a coward because the BM was acting up or whatever, so he had the BM then go through his wife's phone to contact him LOL. 
BM can have him in the capacity that he is the father to her child(ren), but I get the rest of him. I'm good with that. 