Not biological father; CS = extortion?

[vyren]

For some background, see bmdforum.proboards100.com/index.cgi?board=general&action=display&thread=165

Just spoke with a potential lawyer to help sort this mess out... I mention she now wants CS - but not through the CS agency but "just between us". He says, "Sounds like she is worried about legal action...and she should be! Collecting money for a child she knows is not yours is extortion"

WHAT?!

I mean ... yes, 90% of this BMD is legal forms of extortion ... I did tell him I have joint custody and signed the voluntary paternity statement. . ... ??

Is he just telling me things I want to hear to get a new client? He came very well recommended from a VERY trusted source (He should be a BMD professional -- 3 kids, 3 BMs -- but he is an OUTSTANDING dad).

I do have an appointment Wed afternoon for the full consult...Thoughts?

[just2beme]

Definitely do not agree to pay child support. She could start double dipping. If she wants to make a voluntary parenting agreement with you, there is nothing that can stop her from also seeking child support from the biological father. The BM has a lot of nerve. After holding onto her lie for so long, how can she look you in your face and ask for child support. If anything, she should be repaying you for money that you have invested in SOMEONE ELSE'S CHILD!!

What is your purpose of meeting with the lawyer. What else do you hope to accomplish? Before you meet with a lawyer, make sure that you really want to do this. This is a life long commitment. Also, what are the repercussions of the paternity statement? Does that obligate you in any way to pay support? If you want to be in the child's life, then you can do other things besides paying the mother for her care. It is not your responsibility. You can set up a savings account for her. Buy her clothes, shoes, toys but I would not agree to pay child support.

[destini1969]

YOU DID WHAT?

Signed voluntary paternity papers? Please tell me you did this when you THOUGHT the child was yours, under false pretenses! If, not how long ago was it when you signed?

You will definitely need an attorney to rid yourself of this obligation according to the VP papers you signed. And you had better hope you're standing before an understanding judge to release you from this liability. I noticed you're in the state of MA and under that law you are required to pay child support through age 23 IF that child is enrolled in college!

GET YOUR ATTORNEY AND GET OUT OF THIS SITUATION!

[vyren]

I signed the voluntary paternity statement - If I didn't I was under the threat of not seeing my child. Why? Because SHE knew the kid isn't mine but I make a ton more $$$ than the biological father. Rumor has it he is in jail. But I can't get a definite, on the record, answer to who the kids real dad is. Probably because there are too many options.

I was young and stupid and actually believed in love when this all went down. Things have changed, believe you me.

I did have a nice conversation with my BMD yesterday. She is angry because I did not freely offer money, only gave it when I was asked to (School, clothes, etc etc). According to her I don't give a ... because I never freely offered money.

Chick is crazy.

I'm meeting with a lawyer to find out ALL my rights and the process involved for each option I have available. If I stay, if I go.... I need to understand all the options before I make a decision that will affect not only me but my kid for the rest of our lives.

And I'm in Wisconsin, not MD.

[destini1969]

Hey for some reason I thought you were in MD. Well, that's good because child support stops at age 18 in Wisconsin! ) But from reading the kind of father you are, your support won't end there. Some BMs fail to understand it's not all about finances, the child needs emotional support just the same.

Hey you would be a great catch for any woman, don't give up on love because of one bad apple!