Once Again I turned To You Guys (Help)

[ybother]

Once again I have to turn to you guys 4 sound advice. As I mentioned before my boyfriend is going to tennessee for his oldest daughter wedding & other daughter graduation. I was invited to both but can't go due to work schedule. Now when BM found out she went haywire and stated I better not go cause she is going and his family dont want me there anyway, soo..anyway.. that was that.. now He originally was suppose to go down on the greyhound due to financial reasons we can't buy plane tickets, so I kept asking him this whole week to buy the tickets but he kept dodging it saying his daughter was making arrangements.. I thought it was weird. but anyway.. so now he is suppose to leave tomorrow morning but yet no tickets, I know he went this weekend to see his son and that same night she called him at 12am, I asked why she calling so late when you know his son is sleeping, he stated he didn't know why. Then this morning she called him again in the morning.. I have a feeling he is planning on driving down to tennesse with her. Now I don't have a problem if he is doing it to save money or just be with his son, but if he is hiding that from me and being sneaky about it then it makes him look guilty, I tried to hint on it this morning but he stated he was not in the mood to argue and that he was tired from work. He works nights.. Now I'm about to go home in a couple of hours and my stomach is in knots, because how can I confront him without causing a huge fight, besides he is going to get mad that I checked his call logs on his cell. what if it turns out he is going with her do I kick him out or trust him to go with her. Is this the end of our relationship.. Because I would be devastated.. here goes another countless months without sleep,food, and lots of kleenex tissue... what to do?

[destini1969]

That's a horrible feeling to think your DH is sneaking around on you, but according to what you mentioned in this post, you are OVER RE-ACTING!

People often times don't mention things for fear of an argument or judgement. Don't mention his trip to him again (not unless you're ready to get into a fight and leave him) because the last thing you need to do is send your man to his BM p*ssed and stressed out because of your suspisions. Pick your battles, right now this isn't one, especially if you want to keep him. You need to go home, sex the h*ll out of him and remind him of how much you love him.

I think you do trust him because if not you would have planned to call in sick and accompany your man on this trip!

[cloudy752001]

Let him drive her because if she is going, it will be a hellava ride and he will just be reminded of how lucky he was to get rid of her ass in the first place. Hell, he may come back and appreciate you even more. Chill and enjoy.

[just2beme]

If you want to ever have a chance of having an open and honest relationship, then he needs to be honest with you. If he is driving with the BM, then just tell you. As long as you feel that he is hiding something from you, you will never totally trust him or feel comfortable with his relationship with BM. If that is the case, your mistrust of him will come out some time or another.

Just ask him if he is riding with the BM. Since you said you know why he may have chosen this option, just let him know that you understand the need for it. Surprise him. Don't argue or cry. If he admits to you that he is, tell him that you hope that he has a safe trip and to call you when he arrives. When he leaves, kiss him and wish him well. Don't forget to give him presents for his daughter's wedding and his other daughter's graduation. He will be like, wow, that went well. He will feel more comfortable about sharing things with you about the BM when he feels that you won't go off on him.

[ybother]

thank you once again for the great advice, I did just that yesterday when I got home from work, he stated he was planning on telling me but didn't know how to work up the courage because he wanted to avoid a fight, he is driving with her and he was honest, he did it to spend more time with his son, cause as I mentioned before he rarely gets to see him because of her immaturity, and also to save money, so he can have money for his daughters wedding, so I wish him well and told him I was okay with it.. So he is leaving this afternoon and sure enough I will be okay So thank you giving me great advice, it feels good to relate to people who have been there and done that !!