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Post by sickofit on Jun 5, 2008 9:29:06 GMT -5
If you could... would you keep tabs on your Man's BM??
Or do you currently have a way of keeping tabs on her??
Sometimes you have to keep your "enemy" close...
I currently am... Darn Heffer writes everything in her Blog!!!! And even blogs about her BD and me!! and Trust me I print them out and save them as evidence.. just in case! And boy have I found allot of incriminating things!!! I think for me I'd rather know what trifling things shes up to or thinking of doing.. that way we will be prepared and not blindsided
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Post by sbimiss on Jun 5, 2008 10:52:27 GMT -5
Well in my opinion, I think it really has to do with the situation and to what extent. If she is the type of BM who is capable of doing viscous things to you and your man then def. you should gather as much info. as possible to your avail. I don't see a wrong thing about it. Then there are just those BM;s that are just plain annoying and you might just want to know what is going on in her life or lack there of that is making her so miserable. If you have access to things like that then go for it. I think that it should be used at your discretion though. You don't want to get caught up way tooo much in her life and what she is up to. It can become an unhealthy habit of checking up on her.
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Post by gemmani on Jun 5, 2008 11:17:24 GMT -5
If you feel its necessary to keep tabs of your BM, do you, but don't let her become the focus of your life. Don't spend the time (when she's not doing anything) focused on her. Focus on yourself and your relationship, don't let BM become the focal point for you. I could see doing it every once in a blue moon, just for laughs  |
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Post by shortydo on Jun 5, 2008 12:32:56 GMT -5
sickofit
i right there with u. sometimes you may need to know what BM is up to especailly if she bloggin bs about you and your DH . As stated already, just don't get so caught up that your whole life is about the BM. it will tear you to pieces in the end. My DH BM and i have a funny type of relationship. I try to stay positive about it for the sake of my SD but at time i get suspicious that she is just wanting to know!!! so i keep our conversations limited and she already know not to ask any thing about my DH so i put all my worries into the lords hands
BUT best beleive if she step out of line it's on & poppin..lol
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Post by sickofit on Jun 5, 2008 12:49:00 GMT -5
Haha ShortyDo... I feel you on that last line...
I mean she has basically admited to wanting the money just to move out of her parents house... *grrrr* along with just trashing me and my Fiancee...
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Post by shortydo on Jun 5, 2008 14:57:53 GMT -5
been there gurl. i feel the only way u get back at the BM from hell is smile in her face. when she is around u and your DH give him extra attention...gurl it will work her nerves do bad...lmas
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Post by shortydo on Jun 5, 2008 15:00:05 GMT -5
excuse my typing. i'm @ work and my boss spends more time worrying about what im doing instead of doing his job. ya heard
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Post by just2beme on Jun 5, 2008 17:50:48 GMT -5
I say go for it. I work as an internet researcher, so if there s something that I want or need know about the BM I head to the internet. I am still working on finding out if BM has a job. I have been coming up empty there but I have found other information to help my DH. The Internet can be your best friend when you need it (or, it can be your worse enemy so be careful what you post on it).
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Post by sickofit on Jun 5, 2008 19:42:17 GMT -5
Ohh Just2beme do tell!!! lol... good luck in your search
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Post by just2beme on Jun 5, 2008 20:26:40 GMT -5
What information are you trying to obtain? I may be able to help.
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Post by whenwillwomenlearn on Jun 8, 2008 1:56:21 GMT -5
Don't spend time keeping tabs on the BM. If you have to devote that much time and energy on the BM-then you need to start keeping tabs on the BD! Your problem is with him and not with her. All of you sound like big dummies!
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Post by gemmani on Jun 9, 2008 10:42:45 GMT -5
I totally agree with the above statement from whenwillwomenlearn.
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Post by memyslfni on Jun 9, 2008 12:57:30 GMT -5
I beg to differ, my bm likes to keep tabs on what bd does for me and not her. Always comparing!(Bi!*@ dont compare to this no matter how much $$ she got). That shmit dont buy love. When will she finally get over me? I know I'm ggrreeaatt but theres no need to hate!! ha ha I like that one.
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Post by nomoredrama on Jun 9, 2008 17:19:05 GMT -5
I know what you mean...BM #2 has compared what DH does for his son with BM #1. She also has compared what DH has done for our child versus what he has done for their child. It is so ridiculous to keep score but some BMs will do t.
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Post by nomoredrama on Jun 19, 2008 2:30:16 GMT -5
In some instances, it is good to keep tabs on the BM but it depends on the level. I don't really keep TABS on her, but I did look her up on the Internet. It helped my DH when the BM was taking him back to court for more child support. She tried to claim that she did not have a job but we found a business profile for a company that she started. In the profile, she listed her earnings as $100,000 per year. Needless to say, my DH took the profile with him to court as proof of her income. It was not admissable but because the BM was so "shady" with her financial information, it hurt her credibility with the judge. The judge did not raise the child support but actually gave my DH the option to lower it. My DH opted to leave the child support at the same amount...
I definitely would not give the BM access to a myspace page, etc. Things like that are reserved for my friends & family.
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