Unplanned pregnancy

[youknowwhatitis]

According to a text I found from the Bible it implies a man who impregnates a woman outside of marriage is responsible for the woman and the child. The bible outweighs what society says. This was taken from Focus on the Family site.

Um, they say, that's in the Bible?

Well, that's my paraphrase, I say. Then I point them to Exodus 22:16-17, a very interesting "case law" scripture in the Old Testament. By "case law," I mean one of those "If ... then ..." commands that provides some underlying principles applicable beyond the example used. For instance, when Scripture says in Exodus 23:4, "if you come across your enemy's ox or donkey wandering off, then take it back to him," the application extends beyond oxen and donkeys, to dogs, children, bicycles, credit cards, etc.

Exodus 22:16-17 gives instruction on what to do if an unmarried, unengaged man has consensual sex with an unmarried, unengaged woman: "If a man seduces (implies consent) a virgin (or a woman of marriageable age) who is not pledged to be married, and sleeps with her, he must pay the bride-price (or marriage present) and she shall be his wife." Most scholars believe the same prohibition is found in Deuteronomy 22:28-29, "If a man happens to meet a virgin who is not pledged to be married and he seizes her and lies with her, and they are discovered ... he must marry the girl...." Most scholars believe that "rape" is not being addressed here, but consensual pre- marital sex (albeit the man's strong initiation), especially given the phrase "and they are discovered."

So if a man gets a woman pregnant biblically she should marry her to take away her shame. Also if he does not marry her he is still biblically required to pay for her and the child's care. Hence...bride price. Maybe that's where modern law got child support legislation from. He cannot divorce the responsibility for the woman from that of the child. Biblically that is out of order.

Now we now that everyone a man impregnates may not be a good selection for him as a mate but he is still obligated to assist in financially caring for her and the baby. Which means he is entitled to making sure they are okay and have a place to live, food etc...not just the child. Because biblically the man carries the responsibility not the woman. Society operated by Satan has reversed God's divine law. That's why homosexuality, BM/BD's, STD's and all this other stuff in running rampart. Also the epidemic of single parent homes........Satan has everyone blaming the mom's when in reality the real responsibility rests on the FATHERs.

Ladies Weigh In..........this should be good!

[mex1111]

Hmm..
I think men and women are equally responsible when it comes to consensual sex. Women didn't come this far in reproductive history to ignore the preventive resources (condoms, birth control, abstinence) available to us. We have the freedom to choose what we do with our bodies in this country.
By saying this, I mean to say that I do believe that men are heavily responsible for their actions, but that women (like the one mentioned in the passage) should be more cautious, especially knowing that there are many men who are not responsible. There are men who sew their seeds wherever they can, who act very recklessly. But there are also women who lay with men too soon, before knowing who they really are. They cannot expect him to stick around without a promise (a ring).

A man is a natural provider, so I can see how thousands of years made and keep him responsible for the women he impregnates, and the children that are born from it. He should financially support the child and assist the mother with any financial needs (including a decent living arrangement and food, and insurance).

What I don't feel that he is obligated to do is provide most of her income. He should be supplementing her income for her and the child to make a decent living, provided that the mother is asking for something reasonable (and I'm sure she is). But women have many opportunities in the 21st century, so momma cannot stay at home and pray for something good to happen. She has to have her own hustle if she hasn't found one already. Technical schooling will yield steady and favorable income, my mother is proof of this! Many young, and older women, are finding their own paths through education and work opportunities.

If the absence of a man in a family's life forced the woman to get an education or move ahead in life, then they should be thanking God for what He (and he) did. He Blessed her with a new brain and a baby to carry on that brainy legacy! This baby won't be making the same mistake either of his/her parents did.

[youknowwhatitis]

The bible was translated from Greek and Hebrew text the term virgin (means woman of marriage age). It does not implicitly imply the woman must be chaste. If the woman has had sex with the man she is no longer chaste. If they are found out she is no longer chaste. It has nothing to do with virginity. It has to do with RESPONSIBILTY. God created the man for responsibility. Any woman whom a man bears children with is responsible for the woman and the child they are now his family whether he is married to her or not. King Solomon had wives and concubines, he was still responsible for the concubines and their offspring even though they did not have equal status as that of his wives. The men in society must be accountable to God for their actions and offspring......God is not blaming women for broken homes he is blaming men. Now as to women who keep men away from their children.....that man just needs to step it up and pursue the relationship in spite of her antics.

Interestingly, a friend of mine and I were talking about how it seems as if every race of male steps up to the plate and takes responsibility for the well being of his race, woman and children except for the AA man. Which is biblically out of order. No wonder they are the number one race in prison, without education and without opportunity is not we concluded racism that has lead to their demise. But their refusal to take their place at the head of their homes because if you have a wife and children plus BM's and children you have homes. Spiritual supercedes the natural. If more AA men (not talking about the one's who are) would step up to the plate and be men and and take care of their offspring and sheperd their children (this implies they have character and the ability to do this) I think we would see major in improvements in black America. As bishop eddie l long said sunday........."being a male is a matter of birth......being a man is a matter of choice."

[youknowwhatitis]

Also tellit I disagree with you......the proverbs 31 woman who is the perfect woman, worked and provided for her household. This was in biblical times. I think you have lets society's perception of the situation cloud your judgement. The Bible stands period....times may change.......but God's ways do not. You were not a virgin when DH married you. And as far as women choosing to become pregnant before marriage I disagree. As the Focus on the Family post stated the responsibility is on the MAN. He chose to have unprotected sex with a woman knowing full well she is capable of becoming pregnant. The male also control's his ejaculation the male could have "pulled out". His lack of control or poor judgement place the female whom God comissioned men period to look out for and to protect in a vunerable situation. He in turn being a man has to step up the plate and take responsibility for the situation. It is NOT the womans fault. Even if it was a scheming woman trying to get pregnant he is still responsible because the Authority and Responsibility for mankind rests on him. That is why the male is the head of the household.

God said I will make him a helper or a help meet. The woman is only equipped to assist the man. She was never intended to be a sole provider as it deplete's her....hence Crazy Baby Mama's. Most crazy baby mama's either have a BD that won't take responsibility or a BD that has a woman who is selfishly thinking about her interests who is feeding him or could be family members that are feeding him lies about what he should and shouldn't have to do and he should get visitation and he doesn't have to take responsibility for the situation he has with her or she doesn't need to call him etc. People who are usually implying that he does not have to respect the mother of his child or making it seems like it's her fault when in all actuality it's HIS. This is common in the AA community and people wonder why it's falling apart. Every other culture values marriage, family, supporting one's offspring, etc. Usually when something goes wrong in a relationship it's usually the male not always but typically.

The bible also say's Roman's 2: 14-16 The message version

When outsiders who have never heard of God's law follow it more or less by instinct they confirm it's truth by their obedience. They show that God's law is not something alien, imposed on us from without, but woven into the very fabric of our creation. There is something deep within them that echoes God's yes and no, right and wrong.

When other cultures follow this by instinct most other cultures if the man impregnates a woman they take responsibility for her and the baby. Most will marry the woman which is common in the Caucasian community. But as stated before everyone is not compatible for each other so in the case that they are simple not compatible and they both know it then he should step up and be a man and do his part and take responsibility for the entire situation not just a part. Is not a matter of who should marry first it say's if they are found out ...so my answer is whoever she is found out with.

[gemmani]

Interesting article. Nice way of getting out of motherly duties, put all the responsibilities on the father. Too bad there's this modern idea call feminine equality.

I really don't buy it though. Kind of hard to apply something written thousands of years ago to modern times.

I believe it takes TWO people to conceive a child. Father of course should help supplement the mother's income. His responsibility is with the CHILDREN. The mother is a grown a$$ woman, she SHOULD be able to take care of herself.

I'm not a real religious person at all, so talking about the bible to prove that men should be handling EVERYTHING is so not convincing to me. The bible was written by MAN. Both parents have an obligation to care for the kids, period. If this was the year 1880, maybe I'd see the point. But in 2008, its really pathetic when you have mothers who really expect the man to take care of them. Get a life, with a side order of pride and self-worth.

[youknowwhatitis]

To that gemmani........I would tell you get JESUS. Then maybe you could see the glaring light of the truth. Upset because you have been confronted with the truth. Nowhere in the post did I say the man should do everything for the woman. As the proverbs 31 woman did work and provide for her household. But rather the man should take responsibility for the woman and the child and the entire situation and do his best to handle his responsibility toward the situation. It's called BE A MAN. And for the record the bible was recorded by man who were inspired of the Holy Spirit (God himself) everyword of the bible is God breathed and inspired. No human would write a standard for human behavior as high as the BIBLE. BE FOR REAL IT'S THE NUMBER 1 SELLING BOOK OF ALL TIMES FOR A REASON.

[youknowwhatitis]

Also do the research most books have a life span of 20 years or so. This book is 2000 or more years old and is still selling like hotcakes. God wrote that book no human is capable of such a feat.

[gemmani]

Yeah, whatever. Spare yourself, because I'm so not hearing anything about the bible.

Again, upset about what? The truth of what? Paying child support? Taking care of his kids? Those things have to be done. The kids deserve that, plus all the love we can give them. Sorry, but that doesn't make me upset.

The bible has been selling for that long??? You don't say!!!! (intense sarcasm inserted here)
I just don't care, there's nothing you can say to convince me of its validity. I believe there's a GOD, that's about it. The standard for human behaviour? Okay. But you aren't convincing me that the bible is IT and everything in there is absolute truth.

Human beings need something to believe in, that's cool. But that quote is still a maternal cop-out, IMO. No need to get upset.

[youknowwhatitis]

No offense taken you are entitled to your point of view. I respect yours just respect mine.

[mex1111]

I've got one thing to say!

Alicia Keys- "Superwoman"

[sbimiss]

I think that the bible can be interpreted in many different ways. I think we all have to be a little realistic when it comes to this matter and what the bible says man should do. Not everyone is in the same situation and not everyone should handle their situation in the same way. It just doesn't happen that way and it sure as heck doesn't always work that way.

[bmdramaof2]

I think she's an angry BM and happy she's not one of my BM...

[memyslfni]

Its soo nice to get confirmation on how some bm's think..anything to cover up their childish antics. My bm swears she is such a devoted christian but as soon as she leaves the chuuch house its right back into the sheme of things (can we say hipocrate), ooh what a pity. I can proudly say that I may not be a faithful chuuch goer but I love the lawd and that beats being a hipocrate any day! Hey youknowhat, you seem to be well informed on the way of the word...I would just like to know what a true christian is, in this lifetime? Because when I am truly ready to devote myself, that would be the way I would choose. Thanks for your input...have a nice weekend...

[ty1981]

Funny how people use the bible to affirm what they believe! Am I the only one who read the ten commandments. You shouldn't be having pre-marital sex anyway.....and that would cut out STD's, BM/BD drama, and a whole heap of other things.

[jaylady999]

Aug 26, 2008 10:11:27 GMT -5 ty1981 said:

Funny how people use the bible to affirm what they believe! Am I the only one who read the ten commandments. You shouldn't be having pre-marital sex anyway.....and that would cut out STD's, BM/BD drama, and a whole heap of other things.

**snickers** ;D so true