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Post by roadrunner on Apr 6, 2008 2:20:03 GMT -5
How is one to handle a situation where the BM is intentionally bashing the fathers image in the child's presence? I mean the issue here is she goes nutts if she does not receive a couple of months child support.The father is very active in child's life and pays child support accordingly but we all know sometimes people get laid off jobs thru no fault of their own. He does more than just pay child support he buys all the necessary things for everyday life.Thats his responsibility and he loves to do it because he loves his baby. When he tries to spend time with the kid the mother never wants to cooperate.The child was born in 1999 and has been fed so much bull by the mother she doesn't want to spend anytime with her own father.What is a man to do???  |
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Post by wbmama on Apr 6, 2008 4:42:18 GMT -5
That breaks my heart. Poor kid. I believe we all go thru that - its a piece of the puzzle called BMD. There is nothing you can do to stop it...One thing you HAVE to do is to NEVER NEVER say ANYTHING negative about the BM. Its hard, I know. The child may not see what's going on - and its what their mom says - 'mom's don't lie - right?'
There is a actual syndrome called Parental Alienation Syndrome - google it - look for the signs - see what the professionals say.
Again, I'm going thru it - we have our BM on a recording telling the 4 year old who was saying "I want my Daddy" and her response to him was "I know honey, but Daddy don't want you."
One day when the kids are adults they will see...
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Post by downazzchick on Apr 6, 2008 23:20:27 GMT -5
Oh my! What a mess. I'm sure there is nothing he can do to stop the mother from bashing him, but he really needs to continue to see the child. This child is not old enough to make the decisions, so when Daddy shows up to get her (whether he's paid this months support or not) she needs to get herself in the car! In time she will see that Daddy has done the best he can to give me what i need. And if he can't be there fully financially he needs to make sure he attends those PTA meetings, basketball games, daddy needs to host sleep overs ect. So that he can make his presence known to her no matter what bm says!
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Post by roadrunner on Apr 7, 2008 11:55:35 GMT -5
downazzchick****This is not even about child support.The BM is just hateful and likes to make my hubbys life miserable coz hers is. When he tries to pick up the child she cries and says she wants to stay with her mother.She is 9yrs old she may not be old enough to know what she wants but u have no idea how painful it is to see your child reject you while everyone is watching.I dont know how many times one can keep going thru the same thing it gets tiresome.
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Post by downazzchick on Apr 7, 2008 21:52:25 GMT -5
9 is too old to be trying to cry. It should not be a scene when he comes to get her. Does he call her during the week? Ask her what she wants to do on their time? 9 can be that clingy period (Ask her to bring a friend along.) Just make sure she is with him. See the bm enjoys seeing the child make a fuss and the child makes a fuss only because she knows that this is what her mother wants. Keep at it girl. She can't crack him now. Tell him not to entertain her!
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Post by lovejones08 on Apr 10, 2008 12:49:07 GMT -5
This is tough roadrunner. Why has much time gone by before he attempted legal action and researched his rights as a father? I would say keep trying it is never too late, but if that BM is doing what you have described then she will pay for that. Well, actually she is paying for it now because she has raised a child that holds unnecessary resentment in her heart for not only another individual but her father. Did your BM have a father because some women tend to do things like that due to the anger they hold for their own fathers. She has made this child's life miserable and hopefully the child will end that cycle and decide not to continue in that way. You just keep fighting for what's right and what's yours. No you didn't have birth or carry a baby for 10 months but she would not have that child if it were not for you if you feel my drift. Sometimes, people don't realize that they hurt their children more trying to hurt another and the sad part it that they don't even realize it. You all just keep trying with the child.
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