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Post by wbmama on Apr 9, 2008 3:59:34 GMT -5
I remember those good ole days - when the bm didn't know I exhisted.....
Then, on the very day he told her about me, she told him she was dieing of cancer and only had 3 yrs to live. We believed it for a year - all was a big ass lie!!!!!
Angelnmo - keep your self quiet as long as possible - when she knows about you - it could get worse. He needs to get a really strong handle on her now - before she finds out about you.
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Post by angelnmo on Apr 9, 2008 9:53:34 GMT -5
It's hard. I used to get angry that he didn't want to tell her about me, but now I know it is for the better. I know he loves me and am secure in our relationship, so now I don't care if he ever tells her. Anyway, she already knows he is with someone but cant put a name and face to the person. She has been asking for pictures and trying to figure out who it is.
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Post by Keia on Apr 9, 2008 12:11:55 GMT -5
Yes, I am a BM and a gf. I know both sides not just 1. My son is 17 months. Not old enough to talk. Just so that you know. What is it that you are INSECURE. You're so worried about her stealing your man...when more likely she is interested in his $$$$$. You can't see straight. He may be your man but he will always be her kids dad and she will always be in life via the child. Either you can handle or you can't. It 's clear some of you cant.
Me on the other had I don't allow his BM to control my action or his or make me have to regulate him in any way because then my fear of her is controlling my decisions and our relationship. And as a BM I never bother my BD about anything that's not necessary. So get your facts straight and don't be intimidated by the truth.
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Post by wbmama on Apr 9, 2008 12:26:21 GMT -5
Isn't this supposed to be a "Support Group"? Keia, why do you feel it necessary to bad mouth anyone here? What are you doing here anyway?
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keia
New Member
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Post by keia on Apr 9, 2008 12:40:38 GMT -5
I am being supportive by telling the truth. If one looks within and see's error, they can make better decisions based of truth. My intention is not to offend anyone and I am sorry if I have. I just believe in calling it like I see it. Sometimes some people just come off as BM bashing and not really trying to effectively resolve the problem.
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Post by angelnmo on Apr 9, 2008 13:42:04 GMT -5
I understand where u r coming from keia. But I think that in the majority of the cases, the BM wants first and foremost to get the baby's daddy back. Then, out of spite, she tries to punish him through his wallet if she doesnt get what she wants.
The BM in my life has answered the door in lingerie, sent text messages to my man asking him to come over and have sex with her, told him that she would be ok being his booty buddy again, always sends texts that she has put her life on hold for him so that when he comes around and realizes the mistake he made, will come back to her, get married and be one happy family.
Now you tell me if she wants $$$ or my man?
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Post by yex8gia on Apr 9, 2008 16:52:58 GMT -5
In your case angela she wants both. Him for sex and recreation, money for baby, and recreation. if they become booty buddies again she can weasel more money out of him and his her eyes possibly get him back. Seems like you've got a handful with her.
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Post by cloudy752001 on Apr 9, 2008 22:42:01 GMT -5
You know Keia, in most cases the BM is the insecure one. You don't know everyone's situation, you just base everything on how you are with your BD. Well let me tell you that I have heard the BM say things about me like for instance, if she calls BD and says that the child needs clothes or shoes and he asks her what kind of shoes does he need, she responds "Ask your girlfriend!"
What in the heck do I have to do with her request? I don't get into those matters. When he has his child for visitation I step aside because I am only considering myself as a friend at the moment and I donot want the child to get used to me and then be disappointed if things go south.
Lik I said I will never compete with a BM. I have no doubts that my friend wants to go further with me, but his BM is a fool and instead of dealing with her stupidity, I ignore her like a mature adult should. I am dealing with the man, not his BM and that is how their dealings should be with the CHILD only.
Yeah your child is only a 1 yr old, but that should make dealings even easier because it is pretty basic at this age. Like I said visitation should keep the BD updated with a little input from the BM. But if he is in a relationship with someone, you have no choice but to be brief unless it is of some significance.
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