Post by stephmasha on Apr 2, 2013 6:32:09 GMT -5
I have been dating this guy for almost 14 months and right from the beginning he told me he had a daughter from a previous relationship. We met overseas, i was a student and he had been working and living there for a while. We are both originally from britain. His relationship with hi baby mama had been a long distance one and they were on and off before we met and we hit it off. He was the perfect gentleman to me and never ever gave me a reason to doubt about his relationship with his baby mama or any other woman at all. His relationship with his baby mama was abit hostile they would always fight but he always paid his child support though because of the distance he would only go back to london on holidays to see his child. When i met him he had no been back home for about 1 and a half years and was planning to go back the next year. i never questioned his loyalty to me and everything was perfect until the holidays came. i left before him due to a family event, im from a town very far from london and we had planned to meet up once he got back too. when he got back, the first fight we had about was the fact that his baby mama lived with his cousin because she could not afford to support the child so his family voluntered to host her and his child. but when he got there he ws also going to stay at his cousins to see his child so that means they were in the same house! i believed him when he said i had nothing to worry about. however, i found out later when he came for a weekend to my town that he had had a drunken one night stand with his baby mama! i was upset and angry and threatened to leave him but he apologised and begged and i took him back. next he was going for holiday with his sisters and he wanted his child to come along for the holiday but the baby mama would have to be there as their child was only 2 years. I could not make it for the holiday but i trusted him to go on a family holiday with his baby mama present. however i was always insecure and this time he kept giving me reasons to be like i would call him and his baby mama would pick up and when i complained he would say she is just being mean to spite me and that i shouldnt worry. All this time his baby mama has always wanted him back. Well from there it was just a road of insecurities for me. when we got back overseas it was not the same he had become so secretive about his baby mama and when i kept prodding he would say he does not love her or wanna be with her n he wants to be with me but he kept entertaining her. i began snooping on his phone and this fuelled fights and i finaly left him though he kept asking me to go back. when i had left him i bumped into him on a night out with friends and we got drunk and i ended up at his place. he kept saying how much he missed me and wanted me back. well i ended up going through his phone and found flirty messages with his baby mama n he told her he loves her. i got angry and confronted him and his defense was he went back coz we had broken up but i suspected it had been going on all along but he said he only took her back when i left him. i feel angry and stupid and confused. is it right that i keep him behind me and move forward or go back is he being tricky and selfish or was he justified?? help..