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Post by mrznixon on Nov 19, 2009 16:35:26 GMT -5
well everyone knows by now that DH has two BMs and that we are going through a custody battle with BM2. Well here is the deal BM1 she only lets DH see SD1 maybe once a month and we stay in the same county right round the corner from each other, well DH sent BM1 a message on myspace (because this is the only way she will have a conversation with him about their child (sad i know) ) only asking how the child was doing. and she responded what made you ask that? <<< like really. well this is where my problem is: why in the hell can she not grow up I mean every time we get this child its like she is getting to know us all of 4-5 hours to only have to go back and not see us for 1-2 months like this is really really sad the last time we had her was on my baby girls b-day and from the time we picked her up from the meeting place until she left to go back this child did not say a word NOT A WORD skip, cat, dog, nothing just pointed to everything) she would not even play with the other kids that were at the party NOT EVEN HER SISTER!!! well DH really want to ask her if there was anything wrong with the child because SD2 is the same age as her just a month younger and can talk your head off. he just don't know how to approach her with it. she will not allow this child any over night visits so that kicks it for the (getting to you part) no next day visiting or anything, basically 4-5 hours of a break for BM1. I dont think anything is wrong with the child mentally but i do think it has a lot to do with us not being around her but 4-5 hours out of a month or 2. DH doesnt want to do anything yet as far as visitation goes because we have already spent so much money on this other nutcase and he is not in for all these court dates we have already been to court 4 times within 2 months and now about to go again on dec 2.
is there anything that he can do as far as talking to her?
what is the best way for him to approach her?
me as a female i don't understand the problem of letting the child go with the father even for overnight visits what am i missing from all of this?
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Post by gemmani on Nov 19, 2009 18:02:41 GMT -5
You're missing the crazy gene! Obviously! LOL
These women seem to think of their child as THEIRS. They probably have the mentality that their child doesn't need their daddy around......which is insane and completely not true.
I don't think approaching her will help. She seems to have an anti-BD mentality so I don't think anything short of going back to court would help.
It's so sad how they don't understand the effect this will have on their daughters. Especially since they are girls, they need the male influence and attention from their daddy so they don't go seeking it elsewhere.
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Post by mrznixon on Nov 19, 2009 20:12:38 GMT -5
yea court would be the only help in this situation, but that cost so much time and money
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Post by jaylady999 on Nov 19, 2009 20:26:37 GMT -5
That is the problem that a lot of men face, money  That type of delimma forces them to deal with shyt they shouldnt have to just to be in their child's life.  |
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Post by mrznixon on Nov 19, 2009 20:47:28 GMT -5
jay you hit it right on the head with that one, I mean what we are going through right now is costing us so much money, all for him to be able to do whats rights for the children. we have been through so much with BM2 until we had no other choice but to take her to court for custody, my husband had not seen his child in over a year and she had the nerve to say that to the judge like it was ok and use me as one of the excuses for why she did what she did. But we are soooooo burned out with going to court with BM2 i just cant see going through this all over again. I mean the girl cant follow simple instruction in black in white. and my husband had the nerve to call her "educationally smart"<< yea ok, she locked the child in her room because she said she loved her daddy!!! <<< very smart girl Huh?? And not child can make something like this up without having been through it
But for BM1 she is like the rest of the crazy BMs, a one point during the summer she was letting DH get sd1 more often then usual because she had a boyfriend at the time and soon after the boy dumped her all hell broke loose on our side it was 3 months before my husband saw his child again. The first time i saw (cant really say met) BM1 it was like she was stuck in the early 80's and then her boy friend came along and wow 2009 was here, we were able to get sd1 with no problems at all now were at the point were we have to message her a week in advanced just to get a NO!!! were are all the real mothers at???
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Post by jaylady999 on Nov 19, 2009 21:00:19 GMT -5
I know there is one right here and I cant stand to hear those type of stories. I think its ridiculous. I also think that those type of games that BMs play is nothing short of some mild form of child abuse. My life as BM should NEVER hinge on whether or not I have a man. And for the life of me I cant understand what any of that has to do with the BD who sincerly wants to be in his children's life. Dont get me started. DS doesnt have much homework tonite, I am throwing back a vodka and cranberry and reading about your sitch getting irritated as if it was me goin through it |
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Post by gemmani on Nov 19, 2009 22:17:51 GMT -5
Ooohhhh.....vodka cranberry. I'm sorry y'all, I'm following the posts but as soon as I read that I lost all focus... I need to stop  10 more weeks... |
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That type of delimma forces them to deal with shyt they shouldnt have to just to be in their child's life. 
