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Post by Jasmiere on Nov 24, 2009 15:26:16 GMT -5
Im pregnant and due in 4 months. I know its early but there have been some things I have been thinking about and just want to get some advice on. My SO has 2 little girls and one crazy BM.lol but anyway. We have discussed how we will do about disciplining our child when he becomes of age, but how will we discipline his? They are very unruly toddlers because they have no real structure at home. I dont want to take our kids out in the near future and the one he and I have to be well mannered and them to be unruly. But then we face the concern, that anything we implement will not be reinforced. I dont know...I just want our family to be on one acccord. Any suggestions?
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Post by jaylady999 on Nov 24, 2009 15:32:28 GMT -5
Its almost impossible to be on one accord when the children have different parents. Is your SO the noncustodial parent or is this a 50/50 sitch?
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Post by Jasmiere on Nov 24, 2009 15:34:31 GMT -5
My SO is the non costodial parent as of right now.
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Post by jaylady999 on Nov 24, 2009 15:37:37 GMT -5
If thats the case, I wouldnt worry so much about keeping things on one accord. The kids probably not in his care enough to make that happen. As long as you and he are on the same page as it relates to the child you all are having together, I think that is the most important thing.  |
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Post by Jasmiere on Nov 24, 2009 15:42:24 GMT -5
We definately are. Thanks
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ayzha
Junior Member
Posts: 97
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Post by ayzha on Nov 24, 2009 15:51:38 GMT -5
I know that kids what do what they can get away with. If you SO shows that he don't take no mess and won't let the kids treat and talk to you like crazy then your fine. Children act different in each environment. I know that my SS5 will jump on my SO mom couch and act a fool and that's because she won't punish him. She has said many times that she feels bad for his bio mom not being involved in his life. Her guilt trip allows for him to disrespect her sometime. I correct it if I see it but I'm not always there. But at my mom house my SS5 knows that she won't take no mess and acts like he has sense because my parents are more strict and older. it really depends on how you train the children how to act while with you. They can act how they want with their mama.
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Post by jaylady999 on Nov 24, 2009 15:54:04 GMT -5
it really depends on how you train the children how to act while with you. They can act how they want with their mama
Absolutely!
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Post by MsKokamo on Nov 25, 2009 16:51:42 GMT -5
Right.
I remember my ex's 6 y/o daughter would show her a$$ with her mama but all he had to do was say a word to her and she'd straighten it up. He only had her 2 weekends out of the month but although they'd play around together, shed have the proper fear to respect him. And it trickled down to me, all I had to say was don't make me tell your daddy and shed fix her act so quick it'd boggle my mind.
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Post by chalan on Nov 25, 2009 19:09:48 GMT -5
Jas~ Don’t worry about BM’s parenting style. It would be great if they, BM and BD, were on the same page but oh well. Kids are smarter than people give them credit for. If BD expects certain behavior from them and follows through on punishment, they will act accordingly while with DH. The kids will subconsciously know what BMs allows may not be allowed at BD’s house. I think most of the behavioral problems are with fathers that have a guilty style of parenting. By that I mean they let the kids run wild because they are afraid of BM’s wrath.
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