I'm tired

[only1wife]

Hello,
I've been reading this board for a few weeks and. I really think you all give good advice. I am tired of dragging my close friends on my BMD journey as neither of them have to deal with the same sitch. Here is an abstract of the past 3years we dated 2 years and have been married 1 year this month. His BM hates me with a strong passion she filed charges stating g DH is going to kill her threatens her and harasses her....but in the same conversation will say he doesn't see her child does not want to be with her child and does not care for him. DH finally listened to me in September and got an attorney put his self on CS and CO visitation Agreement entered the end of October and she denied his visitation 3x already, stops the son(11) from answering DH phone calls. She refers to me as my husbands GF even though she knows were married, when my ss is at our house she calls from 5a until she gets tired but its funny how she only wants to know where I am and what I'm doing. She wrote a letter to the judge asking that my husbands visits be supervised because she does not want her son at our house. I have never said 2 words to her but she let's it be known I am not welcome, during 1 of our many court dates she asked the judge to not allow me in the court room because she felt that I should not be a part of the hearing and didn't want me in her business. This chick amazes me with the 1 liners she comes up with rather quickly. Her latest stunt is saying my husband does not obey the order, threatened her, and their son is now afraid to go with him....sooo here goes more money for a lawyer just because of her lies....is there an end to the foolishness...my DH says if they don't enforce his visitation he is done.period.(she will only get CO CS) I don't want him to give up because of ignorance...but its hard to encourage during a seemingly losing battle. Does anyone have a similar sitch that ended positively in court? I'm tired of her playing games and she is wearing on DH patience. He is so sad and I can only make some of the pain go away but not alll....

[denvergirl]

Although its unfair for the BM to cause problems, its truly up to your SO to get things done the right away (legal). If he chooses to let go of his child due to her causing problems then that his choice. If it comes to that, I truly feel bad for the child, but in the end the child will know what the truth is and who to be angry with. Him giving up will cause problems regardless. She may push harder and cause more problems, or she may come to her senses and realize he is done with her and their child still needs him. Either way just be there to support his decisions. ;D

[another wife]

I agree with the last person... You have to support him no matter what... He is your husband and you are required to be there for him regardless of what baby mama does!!! I'm currently in a similar situation... BM is a sitch for real..... my husband and I have been marriage for 3 months now but been together for 2years.... This is the second marriage for the both of us and BM seems to be our only problem.... She is money hungry for sure all she wants him to do is pay child support, she could care less about him spending time with his kids... I need some advice, I have been trying not to get in the middle of them and their stuff but its hard when you see the person that u love going through all this with his ex. I can not stand it!! Now I get more upset then he does!! I need help!!!!

[only1wife]

Thank you Denver girl and another wife...I really respect and appreciate your advice and will take it! BM knows I ain't going nowhere and she hates it! We got a call from his attorney Friday saying she wrote her a letter all about me and it was LONG...nothing about my ss...she is a piece of work....what gets me is why she keep wasting stamps mailing letters to DH attorney like she represents her?wtf?? I will support him no regardless of the situation this is just so stressful...I thinks she bi~polar like 3 people maybe 4 all wanting to get out and hell neither one of them like me being with her BD. ;D. Thanks again ladies....and I will keep you posted.

[youknow]

BM perspective: She is hell bent on revenge and unfortunately there is NOTHING you can do about. She wants to hurt you and your husband at any means. I had my BD and family attempt to do the same sitch to me and my son. Be confident in this......karma always wins in the end. Support your husband go on with your lives and be happy. If you allow it to tear you down you're letting her WIN. Sucess I have learned is the BEST REVENGE.

[only1wife]

THANK YOU ALL for your post's! Court went well today...you could see the smoke coming out of BM ears! Near the end she told the judge she wanted her case moved downntown! The judge looked at her and said No...you need to have the child ready this Friday at 5p For dads make up visit. I was soooo happy...my husband looked 10 years younger...BM stormed out of the court room extra pissed! So we will see what happens this Friday..we don't think she will comply and the attorney all ready knows this...the attorney said if she denies his visit this weekend she will back in court Monday refilng for visitation inteference, contempt of court, attorneys fees and court cost. God is so good!All the time!

[luvd1]

Wow....it sounds like things are working out for the best. It's great that your husband acknowledges your support.

[lostsoul]

Well I really don't know where to start. I've been on this website a couple of times to get some advice and now I'm a member. Just like almost everyone on this website, I go through baby mama drama as well............(sighs) Me and my fiance started dating 4 years ago, and I knew from the beginning that he had a son and a BM. I sure as hell didn't think I was going to have to deal with her dramatic, ignorant, careless, incompetent and many other words we all know we could call all the BM's. She was upset that me and my fiance got together and he didn't end up with her. She would text him at all hours of the night and say i love you and i miss you and blah blah blah (which makes me sick to my stomach). I finally had it and told him that she better not call or text unless there's an emergency, and he did. She of course got pissed. Then it would frustrate me when my fiance had to take the "baby" to meet her and she would be so ignorant to my fiance and laugh about it....until xmas '08 I told my fiance I was going with him to take the "baby" to her, and he said yes! He did ask me why I wanted to go and I told him b-cuz I got fed up with her wanting to try to be with him, knowing that I was with him but she never saw me, so she automatically thought that if she didn't see me around, she would have no recolection on where and even if I was truly around. I proved her wrong! When she saw me, she got livid and text him saying she hates him and that b*tch(ME). Now, as I type this all out, he's sitting in a court room with her and they're lawyers, and I'm at home working wondering WTF is gonna happen. In the beginning, she was taking him to court for custody, and now she wants child support. She makes no sense. On Easter, we both went to meet her so we can pick up the "baby" and spend our time together and she thought it was okay to tell the "baby" that she was gonna shove it down his throat if he didn't take it out of his mouth. The kid is 4 years old. I don't care how old the kid is, one thing you don't do is talk to them the way she does. She talks as if he wasn't around her, standing next to her, sitting on her lap......she is clueless on how to be an adult and teach the kid the right way instead of saying mother****** this, mother****** that, I hate her, I hate him.....It's all immature and ignorant. I support my fiance, and I've been supporting him all this time, even before we were dating, when we were only friends. He always tells me that I'm a great woman and he's so proud of me. It just sucks that a great father, that does whatever he can to support his family, he has to deal with her. I woke up this morning pissed at the world b-cuz I really dont know what to do and how to handle the situation when he gets home from court. I've been through alot of drama, and quite frankly, I'm exhausted! He knows all of my pain and frustration and aggravation. He understands it all. Everytime I show him support, he asks me "Why are you still with me and all of my drama?" I reply, "Because I'm in for the long haul, and it's going to be forever. I love both of you very much and she's not gonna be the reason I give up my love for you." He smiles back and kisses me and tells me he loves me. I think I've progressed in getting used to being involved with drama with BM, but I still have a ways to go. Im just running out of ideas. Advice please.