Post by ayzha on Jan 5, 2010 22:56:07 GMT -5
First off sit back and breath. Take some of this tension and anxiety off of your shoulders. This your bf battle and it is fine for you to stand by his side and vaseline him and ice him down if needed but this is not your fight.
Your bf has a child with bm and he is the one that has to have boundaries with her. There is really no need for you to be going to the pick up and drop offs unless it is extremely necessary like it was headed the direction of where you were going and it is extremely necessary. You need to trust your bf. There is nothing that bm can do to him physically that he does not allow. He is with you for a reason. Every time you go, it seems as if you are trying to show off to bm and if she knows you exist everytime that he picks up the child and doesnt spend time with her that is the reminder. There is no need for your presence. It also seems like you dont trust him along with bm for one second.
Your bf should not have any direct contact with bm if it is not concerning their child. There is no reason for him to have ever been in a postion where she had an opportunity to slap him especially without the child being there.
You do not need to have any communication with bm. You dont have to send eachother emails. When the bm is not completely over her bd it is usually a trick of manipulation of sorts to find out something negative about you or come to some type of justification as to why your bf is with you instead of her. Its really not worth it. Many BM find themselves thinking that they are still in some sort of competition for BD.
Just continue to act sweet to the kid and dont take any feelings that you may have towards the bm out on the kid. The kid can see the niceness and any negative things that BM has to say will not be believed if you just be yourself showing that you are a nice person.
If BM or your BF is not considering court then it is not going to happen. It may be something that you want but you can only make a suggestion and it is up to him whether or not he sees it as an option for his situation. Once again, this is not your battle.
Dont let BM control your relationship by causing conflict between the two of you. That is what she wants with the hopes that he may return to her. Try not to mention BM for a day and think of the peace that you may have. She may even cross your mind but eventually she will fade away and not be a issue. I like to use the term BM of (kids name Mom) when referring to the BM in my situation. It makes me feel that her only existence is regarding the child other wise she would just be some random ex-girlfriend off the street. I feel better and dont have much hatred for her in that way. I sometimes feel alittle sad for her demotion. J/K. Just dont bring yourself down and keep your spirits up because this is not your war.
Your bf has a child with bm and he is the one that has to have boundaries with her. There is really no need for you to be going to the pick up and drop offs unless it is extremely necessary like it was headed the direction of where you were going and it is extremely necessary. You need to trust your bf. There is nothing that bm can do to him physically that he does not allow. He is with you for a reason. Every time you go, it seems as if you are trying to show off to bm and if she knows you exist everytime that he picks up the child and doesnt spend time with her that is the reminder. There is no need for your presence. It also seems like you dont trust him along with bm for one second.
Your bf should not have any direct contact with bm if it is not concerning their child. There is no reason for him to have ever been in a postion where she had an opportunity to slap him especially without the child being there.
You do not need to have any communication with bm. You dont have to send eachother emails. When the bm is not completely over her bd it is usually a trick of manipulation of sorts to find out something negative about you or come to some type of justification as to why your bf is with you instead of her. Its really not worth it. Many BM find themselves thinking that they are still in some sort of competition for BD.
Just continue to act sweet to the kid and dont take any feelings that you may have towards the bm out on the kid. The kid can see the niceness and any negative things that BM has to say will not be believed if you just be yourself showing that you are a nice person.
If BM or your BF is not considering court then it is not going to happen. It may be something that you want but you can only make a suggestion and it is up to him whether or not he sees it as an option for his situation. Once again, this is not your battle.
Dont let BM control your relationship by causing conflict between the two of you. That is what she wants with the hopes that he may return to her. Try not to mention BM for a day and think of the peace that you may have. She may even cross your mind but eventually she will fade away and not be a issue. I like to use the term BM of (kids name Mom) when referring to the BM in my situation. It makes me feel that her only existence is regarding the child other wise she would just be some random ex-girlfriend off the street. I feel better and dont have much hatred for her in that way. I sometimes feel alittle sad for her demotion. J/K. Just dont bring yourself down and keep your spirits up because this is not your war.
I'm also in AA