pls help me

[aligirl]

I need some help. I'm dating a man who has a four year old daughter with another girl. Although this girl has a boyfriend, she constantly calls my boyfriend to "talk" about her personal problems and her personal life. She's absolutely crazy and won't leave us alone. She never sees her daughter, and both times she's tried to take her, she's called up and DEMANDED that I drive half an hour to come get the child for one bad excuse after another. On top of this, I'm the only one of us that is somewhat financially stable, so for some reason I'm expected to prrovide everything for everyone else and I get NOTHING. I finally treated myself to something today, it cost five dollars. Yet I just shelled out almost five hundred dollars for Christmas for that kid while neither her mother nor her father bothered to purchase ANYTHING for their child. To top it all off, the child is a monster. Because of what her mother has done to her in her past, she has some very severe emotional issues and even more severe behaviorial problems. It has come to the point that I only see my boyfriend when she is asleep because I cannot stand to be around her. I have a BA in Psychology and am the only one who even graduated high school (let alone the college education that I have) out of the group and no one will listen to me. I am lost and I don't know what to do. I don't want to leave my boyfriend, but the child and the mother are going to drive me to the point that I will. Someone please help me?

[kaikei]

sounds really hard. talk to him, or love him from a distance. your role is the girlfriend, not the step mother of provider. which by the way I applaud you. you should have your man's back 100%. but pull back a little. no child needs 500 dollars worth of stuff for the holidays. if you want to spend that much and be good to her, put that money in an account so that she my exceed her parents and go to college. dont take out your frustration on the child. It can be very difficult. i know and am aware, but build a bond with the child, be come a friend. problem child will act out, but she is young enough to where she can learn better ways. talk to your boyfriend about this as well. let him know that it not ok. he should work hard at helping his daughter just as you are. if he doesn't then look at it for what it he maybe depressed at the situation. a man having to live off is girl and can not support his child and family maybe and issue.

[renelane]

Uh why are you staying in a relationship that is so out of wack. You have a degree in psychology and can't figure out why you should stay? You seem really smart but have some issues of your own for taking on the responsibility that belongs solely to this man you are dating. You aren't his wife. Why in the world are you taking on such a heavy burden when you don't have too. If you wanted to help this child that is in need, then be proactive about it. As far as the father goes your BF you should be with someone that is equally yoked. The baby mama is not your main issue here.