Very personal serious question about BD DRAMA

[khris]

well this my situation

PLEASE don't judge we all make mistakes and the only reason why i posted this question is because I'm assuming many people here are parents and might have some good advice on how to deal with the following situation

I have a 6yr daughter her father and I no longer together (we do maintain a friendship for her sake we split up when she was 3 years old) I was 20 and he was 21 when she was born. I'm now 26 and he is 27 years old.
he is a known gang member, and drug dealer, also a convicted felon (he did 1 year in in prison) I know this looks very bad in writing and it doesn't change the fact that he is who he is, but he is a good father (he tries his best) to her. Basically she is the only thing he has in life. He has no family his mother passed away and his father never really claimed him as his own...(you know the typical I don't have anyone that loves me so that's why i joined a gang and became a thug story) This of course makes him no angel as a person, I have very few positive things to say about him as a man/person or as a lover but as a father, he does try his best

that's about the only positive thing I can honestly say about him,

like I mentioned before our daughter is 6 and will be turning 7 this May, she is getting older and with that come the tough questions that she ask. We have both tried to shield her from the truth of her father and his "worthlessness in society" but she's growing up fast and it's only a matter of time before she figures it out on her own the type of man her father actually is.

Soon enough she will be at and "adult state of mind" those teen years, and there will be no more sugar coating the facts.

She always ask really tough questions for example why her mommy and daddy don't have wedding pictures. I was able to explain that one to her however,

Now the problem that we have now is her father recently just had a newborn son and my daughter has a half-brother and she she wants to know why "daddy and his girlfriend have a baby together and are not getting married" they actually don't even live together anymore (she's his second BM) i think they have already called it quits in the relationship. It's only until now that this other woman has a baby by him that he showed/she discovered his true colors

(same thing that happened to me)
eventually this other woman will open her eyes and realize the mistake she made in choosing the father of her child, she is soon to be in my shoes, a single mother trying to do her best to conceal the truth about her child's father

HE is what I like to call a "poisonous" person who drags you down in life. He likes to create his own drama. We all know the stories about that crazy BM well in this case we have the crazy BD from hell

How do I explain this all to her, My biggest fear is that it a fact that little girls grow up to become romantically involved with men that resemble their fathers. I would never want my daughter to make the same mistakes i did and ruin her life

what can I so as her mother to ease the pain that will come when she learns the FACTS about her father.

[jusdntundstn]

As a parent, single or not, all you can do is set the best example possible for your child. Not to worry about the examples others make of themselves.

Just stay confident that she will make the best decisions for her future and do know that sometimes we have to make the wrong decisions to know what's best for us...

BTW, it sounds like your doing a great job! Just remember that kids are on a need to know basis.

Good Luck!

[khris]

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[dase1000]

Unfortunately....the worse thing we can do to our children is lie to them. The fat man with the flying reindeer, the Easter bunny....not good. How can he be a good person and a poisonous one? Good people don't make babies knowing they will leave them. If it doesn't work out then fine, but you make it seem as if he purposely misleads women. You have to surround your daughter with positive influences of the opposite sex. Even with all you do.....she still needs to see men treating women with respect.

[recondite]

I have adopted the mindstate that whatever my SD asks me I give her the most honest answer possible with the least amount of details. Children are much more aware than we often give them credit for. With that being said, I never want my SD to not want to talk to me because she thinks I will lie to her or shun her away because of the type of question she is asking. Honesty truly is the best policy. Your child will understand.