Need advice PLEASE!

[laceylou]

OK, never done anything like this but I need advice from a outside voice...I have been dating this guy for only a few weeks. Let me begin by saying what a amazing man he is, and he and I both have openly discussed how well we fit together. We have an amazing connection, we finishes each others sentences even. I have never met another man like him and deep down REALLY feel this guy is for me. I've never felt this way about ANYONE. I met his daughter last night whom I absolutely adored, but I know his "BABY MAMA". She and I work in the same hospital, not on the same unit but in the same hospital. They have been broken up for over 6 months. He and I discussed and decided it would be best if we didn't tell her right now for two reasons, A: she is very emotionally unstable right now and extremely immature and we're afraid she'll cause issues for me at work. B: we want to have stronger relationship bc we know this is going to be challenging for us both. I'm not having a good feeling about not being open and honest about how we feel about each other with everyone. I would love to sit down with her and say "we don't matter, the child is all that matters in this situation"-and take it from there. I just don't know what to do. I absolutely adore this wonderful man and father, and want to be a part of both of there lives. I'm hoping that I'm not just being taken for a fool, but I really don't think we can man these feelings up. ANY WORDS OF WISDOM??

[Wisdom for You]

I'm sorry to tell you this, but if he is keeping the relationship from her it is not because of drama it is because he is keeping his options open to get back with her. Six months is not that long if they were together for years. If she broke up with him(he'll never admit it) he may be hoping she will take him back, but he does not want to be alone while he waits. If they do not get back together you and him may actually develop into a real relationship, but a few weeks is not long enough for your to want to sit down with his child's mother and discuss anything. Also seeing as it has only been a few weeks I would not want to date a man who has not taken the time to really know me and would introduce me to his kids that is irresponsible and only a ploy for you to feel more comfortable with him and give him sex if you have not already.

[Don T Pissmeoff]

..... For right now sis, be his friend and alow him to work out his issue with his childs mother. Try not, if you can, to be intimate with him as not to produce mixed feelings. He may for some reason still have feelings that he cant let go of atthis time. If they have only been broken up for 6 months, they both need time to heal. Try to keep from being the rebound. If there is any sign of baby mama bein' an immature jack-ass, you're gonna have problems anyway( Believe me i'm goin thru it right now! Dont want to be with me but wants the privilages of bein my girl! how confused can you be?!).... Anyway, just take your time with this

[Are you serious]

If he wants to keep things quiet, trust him and see what happens. At this point, he knows better than you what she is capable of and you do not want to become the object of her BS.
Take it from me, it can be extremely hard to deal with someone who has a vendetta against you because you are capable of doing what she isnt. Stay calm, stay quiet, stay cool and out of the situation

[You have got to be kidding me]

REALLY!! NO the previous writer is obviously ok with being the 3rd wheel. First off you know this woman and she is your coworker. If he really cares about you he will be straight with everyone involved.

And I have a question. How did you meet this guy? Was it through your coworker?



Sometimes the feelings can be euphoric because it's all new, but trust me it is short lived.

[ayzha]

My bf was like this in the beginning. He told bm that we were roommates but she knew we messed around. I didnt like that but he said that he didnt want her to have postpardum because she found out that we officially lived together when the baby was six months old. I felt that was BS.
He would always talk about BM and it would annoy me. They were only broken up about one week before we started going out but we knew eachother about seven years prior.
Eventually he started talking about me more to BM and she would get attitude or role her eyes or get off the phone. She had never met me and wasnt interested because she was in denial of our seriousness. She started asking more questions about me then finally agreed to meet me 1.5 years later.
I think that your bf just like mine was not totally over his bm. If I could do it all again I would have been friends longer observing the reaction with BM. Many things made me uncomfortable initially and I never really spoke up. There were no boundaries. Now after about two years or arguing and training my bf knows where I stand with BM issues. He can kiss her ass and come home to me with problems or go with my plan and have her whin for a day.