Does she want him back?

[byfaith727]

Okay, well, here I am with the man I've loved since I was 15. We had a son together and decided to part ways when I was 18, now come 26, we're back together again. I have a daughter with somone else, whom I didn't marry. And well, so he has a daughter with someone else. She is full of drama sometimes more than others.

She found me on Myspace when I was pregnant with my daughter (from another), and would tell me things about my first love, (my present fiance). She said that he had moved on and she is going to ruin it as best she could, just to be ignorant and spiteful. She would come to me just to talk about him and I was okay with it being that I was pregnant with someone else.

Well, now it's year 2009. My daughter's father and I didn't quite work out and well, my first love and I re-united after we lost a close family member. Now his daughter's mother didn't wanna talk to me, she treated me funny, she would Myspace me stuff like "you will never be my daughter's mother" and so forth.

I have a son by my finace (my first love) and she has a daughter with him. In the beginning she claimed it was just sex and that she never wanted to settle down with him but I don't believe her. She acts strange and weird sometimes. My fiance can't stand her because she acts like a child and tries to make us argue over petty stuff. She tries to keep his daughter away from him because of me. She won't admit to it.

She one time text my love that their daughter has another daddy and that we will never see her again. All because of the fact he is with me. Every two weeks she throws a fit about him not being able to see his daughter but she does it just to be ugly.

What do you think this is about?!

[memyslfni]

Just to answer the original question....It's not that she wants him back, it's the challenge of taking him away from u that she's thriving on and since she can't have him, why should anyone else.

[ayzha]

I have a question. Being that your bd/fiance has a child that is at least eight, has he been an active member in the child's life. Was the relationship with the other bm ever serious. Was she around the son that you two had. Did you ever meet her.
Im sorry but your situation on here is actually something that every girlfriend/wife fears and that is having your SO go back to his BM. Im not trying to be rude or anything but this scenario is the prime example of why there needs to be some type of boundaries with BD/BM. I sense that you now have these insecurities that he may go back to BM#2 because he left her for you so you wonder if he would switch back.
She shouldnt be keeping the child away as I hope that if you two dont work out that you dont start keeping your son away.
Did you keep your son away from her?
How are things with your other BD. I hope that you are not keeping him away because you want happy family with BD1.
Dont get in the habit of going back and forth between BD because all it does is confuses the children that are innocent. They get false hope.

[akesson]

I would think that a relationship that's been going on since you were 15 is going to stand a longer test of time than a females who claimed it was just sex. So If she wants him back just know that it's nice to want. As mothers we need to make sure to do all we can to even love the mother of a child that isn't ours,we have to deal with these women no matter what. Beyond it being healthy for the both of your children it's healthier for you. You don't have to find reasons behind her actions just find reasons as to why you may act that way if you were her and if it's because she wants him back and you feel he would go then well think hard about what you should do, is that a relationship you want to be in.

Insecurities are about as useful as trying to put the pin back in the grenade, you don't have to be with someone you've been with for that long just because you've been together...or even because you have a child with them, you deserve to be happy to. So find your motivation for being with him and nurture it, not trying to be rude but are you with him so she cant be? That may be something to think about...

[byfaith727]

true. true. and true.

[jaylady999]

Apr 8, 2010 20:00:48 GMT -5 @memyslfni said:

Just to answer the original question....It's not that she wants him back, it's the challenge of taking him away from u that she's thriving on and since she can't have him, why should anyone else.

Yep, agree

[visitor5]

Byfaith I think what will drive your man away will be your insecurities. You don't trust him is what it seems. Perhaps she doesn't want him with you, but it also could be a case of you not wanting him to be with her. Really this site and its users seem to be as full of drama as the BM you talk about I mean seriously you have discussion boards about it?

[jaylady999]

Yet somehow you found your way here just the same

[memyslfni]

^{Really this site and its users seem to be as full of drama as the BM you talk about I mean seriously you have discussion boards about it?}

Vistor5 ~ Correction. We discuss what the issue is with these Insecure Bm's who settle for being a mans sloppy firsts, seconds, thirds etc....weak, poor excuses for women, that make the rest of us look bad because they don't value themselves.

BTW...YvonneB ~ Good Luck with pacifying your new bestie! Hope it works out for YOU in the end and that u don't end up back here. Llz!

[jaylady999]

Memy, its just a matter of time, I PROMISE

[Doin]

I agree. The honey moon will last about a year and then it will be down hill from there.

[jaylady999]

Yep, long enough for BM to have some other issues in her life and then everyone around her will feel her wrath, up to and including her new SM bestie. LOL.

I would never give a BM that opportunity to go there with me. She doesnt even deserve my attention