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Post by IDKANYMORE on Sept 10, 2010 23:50:44 GMT -5
ok so i been goin out with my bf for 2 years not. hes gotta kid he is bout to be two in a couple weeks. well i told my bf he needed to talk with him BM so he could see his kid since his bm & son live far away. bc my dad was never part of my life so i dont want his kid to grow up like that if i have any say in it. well my bf is honest in open about everything and willing to do anything for me. so i told him to call her, but of course he ended up textin her i told him she wasnt gonna take him serious but W/E she still txt back. so he told her " hey hows my son, i want to send yall some money for a plane ticket to come down here, u can just find somewhere to stay i really wanna c my son" so she took a while to write back and was like ummm i just started a new semester at school and im working so if u wanna see ya son u can come up here n stay in a hotel n see ya son for 2-3 days. but imma keep it 100 with you goin down there isnt my first priority, but that money u talkin bout sendin would really go toward our sons winter clothes" soooo i dont think thats right when she is the one who moved so far away it isnt fair for my bf to be in this situation. but his BM momma has the nerve to tell him he needs to step up they will help him go up there. but u see he doesnt want to and I personally dont want him to go up there either. it would just cause trouble, knowing her. so what do yall think what should i do? is she right? just advice im kinda sad.  |
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Post by memyslfni on Sept 11, 2010 10:47:34 GMT -5
The biggest mistake us women make when it comes to men and THEIR children is making their problems OURS. Don't get me wrong, you have the childs/and your mans best interests at heart but trust me...all the energy you will have put into trying to get him to 'daddy up' will only leave you emotionally exhausted in the long run. Because at the end of the day, your still just a third party whose opinion really doesn't count for much.
Do you and your guy have kids of your own?? If so or even if not, I would you all and you all alone. In BM's mind, any attempts to be in the childs life is not coming from him but rather his sidekick (YOU). So she is going to make things as difficult as possible so as to 'let you know' that you don't run jack! Please keep in mind also that some of the ideas YOU suggest are likely to turn around and bite you in the azz.
I advise you to ask yourself, Is this a battle you are willing to invest your time and energy into??
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Post by jaylady999 on Sept 11, 2010 16:00:15 GMT -5
Memy I couldnt have said that any better myself!
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Post by memyslfni on Sept 11, 2010 19:53:43 GMT -5
I try my best to make some sense of it all Jay ;D My bad, that second paragraph was meant to read.... If so or even if not, I would focus on ya'll and ya'll alone (meaning your relationship). Bask in it, enjoy each other. Hun you should be glad the BM ain't close enough to cause direct drama in ya lives! Let their problems be their own  So long as she's not asking him to come see the child at her home to intentionally exclude you, leave it be. It's just not worth it. Does he pay CS btw? |
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Post by IDKANYMORE on Sept 12, 2010 18:54:14 GMT -5
thanks ladies (i'm assuming) yes your right it is emotionally exhausting. I mean i am also jealous because no we dont have any kids of our own, because he got her preggo when we had got out of contact for two yrs. one time she wrote him and was like "your gf is pretty its nice to know you love her more then anything else i remember when u use to tell me that" so ever since then its been hectic for me. but yes,my BF does pay child support.  |
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Post by memyslfni on Sept 12, 2010 19:29:27 GMT -5
CS is being paid, he's straight! One thing I WOULD make sure of, is that he's got proof of payment with the child being so young and all  |
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