Post by Heidi on Nov 19, 2010 15:49:18 GMT -5
Hi everyone,
I am about 6 months in to dating a very loving 35 yr old man & father of a 2 yr old & who is recently divorced (April.) I am the first person he has dated & I am finding that we are navigating through this situation for the first time together. (I'm also 35, amicable divorce, no children & never dated anyone with children.)
My concern lies in the fact that his ex-wife is extremely unstable (suicide attempt a few yrs. back before child) & is on many medications to stabalize moods. The challenge is that she has shared custody & often manipulates & is extremely cruel to her ex telling him often she wishes "he would die." He tries to avoid talking to me about these matters in order to protect me but I can tell because he appears sad & disconnected at times.
Recently, I discovered that he reached out to a long-time female friend of his who is also going through something similar in order to get some advice from her since she has Baby Daddy Drama. I can understand why he did this but it left me feeling hurt that he is reaching out to another woman to discuss this stuff & what he is going through. We discussed it & he deeply apologized since he is learning for himself how to manage this & didn't want to drag me into it.
I am now starting to see the challenges that exist with dating a man who is in his situation & it makes me very sad since I am extremely selective about who I date & very much care about this man & building a future with him. He has expressed in equal measure doing the same with me.
Any advice how we can both be proactive about how to handle this?
I am about 6 months in to dating a very loving 35 yr old man & father of a 2 yr old & who is recently divorced (April.) I am the first person he has dated & I am finding that we are navigating through this situation for the first time together. (I'm also 35, amicable divorce, no children & never dated anyone with children.)
My concern lies in the fact that his ex-wife is extremely unstable (suicide attempt a few yrs. back before child) & is on many medications to stabalize moods. The challenge is that she has shared custody & often manipulates & is extremely cruel to her ex telling him often she wishes "he would die." He tries to avoid talking to me about these matters in order to protect me but I can tell because he appears sad & disconnected at times.
Recently, I discovered that he reached out to a long-time female friend of his who is also going through something similar in order to get some advice from her since she has Baby Daddy Drama. I can understand why he did this but it left me feeling hurt that he is reaching out to another woman to discuss this stuff & what he is going through. We discussed it & he deeply apologized since he is learning for himself how to manage this & didn't want to drag me into it.
I am now starting to see the challenges that exist with dating a man who is in his situation & it makes me very sad since I am extremely selective about who I date & very much care about this man & building a future with him. He has expressed in equal measure doing the same with me.
Any advice how we can both be proactive about how to handle this?
