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Post by tiredbrotha on Nov 25, 2010 6:28:56 GMT -5
Hi. New to this site. I am hoping to get some good advise. Here's my drama. I am divorced with 1 child from that marriage (6 years old) I was recently engaged to a woman whom I dated for 4 years who I also have a child with (2 years old). I do not have drama with my divorced BM. She allows me to see my son anytime I request. We do video chats, etc. But my other BM complains that I don't see my son with her enough. I live 2 states away, but it's not an issue to travel. However, when I try to schedule, so always has to get back with me to no avail or only will allow times that are not realistic, i.e. a few hours. She works and goes to school and always complains that she needs help, but when I offer to keep him, she says no. I have even offer to take him until she finishes school. She won't even let me keep him overnight unless I stay at her place.
We broke up because she cheated. So I don't understand why she's being so difficult. She knows I will go out of my way for my boys and she would always compare how I treated my 6 year old vs my 2 year old with her. I explain both children have different needs and that I am meeting the needs of both. In short, nothing satisfies this woman. It is never enough! Sometimes I want to just give up and wait a few years until he is older and then establish a relationship because I am so tired of dealing with her. Just send a check, but that just will hurt my son. So now I am seeking advise. I've never had drama in my life until this woman.
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Post by appleblossom on Nov 29, 2010 20:37:51 GMT -5
Sounds like your typical scorned BM to me. Sadly, the only thing you could have done and it would have turned out differently would be to have married her. She seems jealous and insecure. Maybe because it seems to her like the first child with ex wife gets priviledges or treatment because of marriage?
There are only 2 things I see you can do:
1. Play nice and try to see it from BM 2's perspective. Then try to reassure her that you love all your kids equally, and want to come to some sort of a resolution.
2. Say screw it. Her insecurities are not your problem and go to court to establish court ordered visitation and child support.
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Post by tiredbrotha on Dec 2, 2010 16:40:09 GMT -5
Thanks for the info. I tried #1. But it was never enough. I hate #2 because it's just unnecessary. I would love to see my BM 2 son more than a court order may give, but I know if that happens, she would stick to it just to get back at me.
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Post by tathimarie on Dec 29, 2010 23:59:14 GMT -5
Look, until you get a court order this woman will continue to think she can control you. she knows your kids are important to you and she is using him as leverage. get the court order because that visitation is better than none at all. Take her control away, and it will break her.
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Post by mjenkins on Jan 15, 2011 14:53:22 GMT -5
I agree...don't just seek a court order, seek 50/50 or more if at all possible. NOT to spite bm, but to secure your rights NOW. If you don't pursue it, in the future the courts will look at it as if you didn't care, or you were okay with minimum parenting time.
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Post by notyourmananymore on Mar 20, 2011 14:40:34 GMT -5
I am dealing with a situation similar to yours. I say seek 50/50 because it will work in your favor as far as travel you want have to run up in down the road as often. Also she could tell u sure come get the boys and once you arrive she is no where to be found. I know someone that happen to and he has to travel over 24 hrs. It plain and simple she wants you and if she can't have you then you can't see your boys. She see this as being a package deal, and it's not. You can only deal with this women through the courts. I think it's so pathetic when a women prevents a man from seeing his children especially if they are boys. Boys need a man in there lives they need a strong male role model. You really need to deal with her in court because soon since you don't want her she will try to replace you with another man and who knows what kind of man this maybe. Make your presents known
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Post by fukallbms on Mar 21, 2011 20:09:42 GMT -5
2 peas in a bucket f**k IT!!!
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Post by eventualesq on May 31, 2011 22:19:52 GMT -5
Your first mistake is that you're not in court, right now, fighting to be in your child's life. If you're not willing to go through that, you're not really trying. Face facts bruh. That is the way it is. You can't expect her to be civil. You should expect her to act like the crazy beach that she is. Wake up. Quit crying and do what you have to do for your seeds.
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