Baby Mama Drama

[About to Snap]

I am 25 years old and have known my fiance for 13 years. We started dating seriously 2 years ago and right before we got together he was with a girl who said she was on BC and wasn't and she got pregnant. Long story but she used him to get a baby. I do not have any children, and would like one someday. I have cared for many children from working with them to caring for some of my friends children when needed. Anyway, This woman turned out to be the most psychotic women in the world. Won't let my fiance see his child, threatens me and the child's father on a regular basis. Saying she is taking him to Hawaii and never coming back, and just random stupid things. We are currently having some papers drawn up for custody and visitation through court but it's taking forever for anything to happen.
This women call's over 40 times a day, text's over 100 a day, and gets pissed off when my fiance doesn't answer the phone. She doesn't understand even though we have told her 1000 times PEOPLE HAVE JOBS AND WORK 9-5. That he can't always answer her calls. When he doesn't she FREAKS OUT FOR DAYS and calls names and calls me a haggard and the c word and words I didn't think existed. We have blocked her number from my fiances phone so she has to call the house phone when she wants to contact him. My fiance's mother is currently involved in the situation which is DRIVING ME CRAZY. She try's to take over the entire situation and set up "Meetings" for my fiance and the baby mama to have together, when it doesn't solve ANYTHING. They have had meetings with her father, and he agrees that what this women is doing is just insane and my fiance doesn't deserve what she is doing to him, but she just doesn't care. The psychotic women doesn't want to resolve anything, she just' wants to rub in his face that he has no control over what she does with his child. My fiances lawyer said that the judge he has is not very friendly, and if the 2 parents can't work things out on their own that they have to do some counseling together. So he is trying to work things out but she just doesn't want anything to do with him. I have told him and his mother that they have to let things work out the way they should and not force things.

I am alone in this situation and I just feel like I can't take the harassment from this women, and the constant disappointment. My fiances family wants to do all this without involving the court system but the torture is beyond comprehension and I don't understand why anyone would want to deal with this they way they are. It is killing my fiance and i can't stand to watch it happen anymore. I love this man but I don't know how much more I can take.

It is nice to know that others are dealing with the same issues. It gives me some sort of hope.

[Too involved]

It sounds like your fiance is going through a lot but it is his cross to bear. You need to step back from the situation and let him &* BM work it out. I learned a long time ago that when it comes to the relationship between BD & BM, I have no control over it. He needs to do what he has to to bring an end to BM stalking. The only way he has a chance to is with a Court order. Until he gets it, BM will continue to have all the control.

Good luck to your fiance. I hope HE handles HIS business.

[sbaby]

Everyone deals with their situation differently. Something that might work for me might not work for you. With my situation, my bf defended me and our relationship left, right, and center. Nothing good ever came out of allowing BM to play the games she played. He corrected her, put her in her place, and never backed down. I called her out on her mess whenever she tried to take jabs at me as well. Cowards like that hate confrontation. They hate to be humiliated. They push boundaries and do the things they do hoping that they will get away with it. We consistently put our feet down and the drama subsided. The problems have pretty much stopped, but then again, people only do what you allow them to do to you.

Good luck with your situation. A bitter woman will test the strength of your relationship. If you and your fiance are committed to the success of your relationship and the relationship with his children you will put up a united front and beat her at her own game.