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Post by Anonymous on Apr 10, 2011 20:29:44 GMT -5
My BF of 6 years had a one night stand with an Ex and she got pregnant. The entire situation has been traumatic. We have been to counseling and are trying to move forward but I don't think I can handle it.
Our plan is to marry and start our own family within the next two years, but I am having second thoughts because the BM has banned my presence and/or interaction at any functions she attends. Her request has me feeling like an outsider when he and his family attend events and I'm home alone.
He said he doesn't want to bring me because she is unpredictable and it could possibly get violent.
I understand his concerns, but I fee like she's made these requests for her own personal agenda. I also feel like my BF could be hiding something.
What should I do?
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Post by Lulu917 on Apr 11, 2011 13:56:21 GMT -5
They both have a hidden agenda. Trust me it took me twelve years to figure it out, only because i try to see the good in everyone. He doesn't respect you as his women now and he never will unless you put your foot down and stop being timid and scared of him and her. Pray and ask God for wisdom and he will reveal to you everything you need to know but don't let it hurt me. But wait for him to reveal it first. The reason why you at home is because she is who his family knows, not because she is or will become angry as he shared with you, but he don't want to look bad in front of his family. Furthermore, if you don't go he don't go is the stand he's suppose to take. Your purpose in his life is to have a place to stay and telling you he's going to marry you is how he keeps his bed warm until he decides to moves on. Men stand up for the women they love. Think about it! Ask for wisdom and courage.
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Post by whocares on Apr 11, 2011 15:09:56 GMT -5
You really might want to reconsider being with your BF. I know 6 years is a long time but that doesn't mean anything if the trust isn't there anymore. And you really don't need the BMD. Because like Lulu917 said he's suppose to stand up for you. He's suppose to be with you not her meaning he shouldn't care if she doesn't want you at any functions she attends because its not about what she wants. Honestly you should move on because you don't need the headache.
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Post by guset on Apr 27, 2011 12:36:08 GMT -5
I see it this way if can not stand up for you now he never will. If she is not important to him anymore then he should bring you with him and make it very clear that you are with him to stay that it and is she does not like it oh well!! If you have that hunch about something not right it probably is not. Next event show up!! and see how it goes. If he supports you he should have no problem with you there. If he does not then those actions speak from themselves.
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Post by doin on Apr 30, 2011 9:12:26 GMT -5
What kind of events are you being asked not to attend? I'd like more of the specifics. How old is the child, and how often does your SO see his child?
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Post by trciatenaka on May 31, 2011 17:55:58 GMT -5
My BF of 6 years had a one night stand with an Ex and she got pregnant. The entire situation has been traumatic. We have been to counseling and are trying to move forward but I don't think I can handle it. Our plan is to marry and start our own family within the next two years, but I am having second thoughts because the BM has banned my presence and/or interaction at any functions she attends. Her request has me feeling like an outsider when he and his family attend events and I'm home alone. He said he doesn't want to bring me because she is unpredictable and it could possibly get violent. I understand his concerns, but I fee like she's made these requests for her own personal agenda. I also feel like my BF could be hiding something. What should I do? Leave him. Plain and simple. Obviously he's open to whatever advances she's making so that's enough right there. If you want to keep him, be agressive and make some demands. It won't work if he doesn't value you more than her. |
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