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Post by MissCollegeChick on May 28, 2012 10:42:07 GMT -5
My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost a year. When we met, I already knew that he had a child and I accepted that. He and his BM have a 50/50 custody agreement where they alternate weeks (the child is 2). For the past few weeks, his BM has been dropping the child off with my boyfriend's mother for various "emergencies" while my boyfriend was at work without telling him. (my boyfriend works, but is still living at home while he's finishing school) My boyfriend has no problem keeping his son, in fact, he wants full custody but she will not consent to it. The problem is, it has been conflicting with the plans we have made previously. We have no problem taking him with us to events, but she makes a spectacle each time he's not there whenever she decides to pick him up and does not tell us when she's coming back. And in previous incidents we have found out that her "emergencies" were date nights, alone time with her boyfriend and a few spurt of the moment trips to sports tournaments and beaches. My boyfriend has addressed these issues with her previously, but she continues to go behind his back and drop of their son at his grandparents without telling him. What should we do???  |
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Post by Guestttt on May 29, 2012 15:24:04 GMT -5
HE not you but HE needs to talk to his parents and tell them that they should not let the child stay unless they call him FIRST or if they are going to be the ones who the child is in the care of. The reason I say this is because the custody agreement is 50/50, so she can not just leave the child with him with out notice just like he can't leave the child with her without notice. then he has to have an understanding with his parents that unless they are wanting to spend time with the child, they need to call him first before they agree that the BM can leave the child.
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Post by Me on May 29, 2012 22:54:49 GMT -5
I TOTALLY agree with the reply above. I HAD the same issues. My husbands parents would have his kids without his knowledge and have the audacity to pop up with them at our house, without him knowing. Well, he TOLD THEM and we don't have that problem anymore. Some parents don't look past the "grandchild" sympathy to see the more important need for respect between the parents. Wait.....Where are the BM's parents?
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Post by MissCollegeChick on May 30, 2012 9:55:42 GMT -5
The BM's parents are pretty much MIA for the most part. When the baby is with the mom, her sister watches him while she is at work. I have never heard anything about the grandmother (BM's mother) The funny part is that the BM lives with her mother. (And we found out today that the emergency she had this time was a holiday weekend trip with her boyfriend and once again she didn't want her son to go, she tried to get my bf to keep him for the rest of the week)
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Post by Guest on May 30, 2012 14:01:37 GMT -5
Well, since you're just his girlfriend, there's not much that you can do right now. If you think that HE is handling this the best way that he possibly could, this show's what a good guy you have. If not, and you feel that these are things that you can't deal with, you may need to decide if dating him is the best thing for you AND your mind. Never let this situation, with kids and a husband that are not your's yet, consume you. You, getting involved too early, could run him away. Just remember that he needs to come to you if he wants your advice and never take it into your own hands unless you are his WIFE and you two are on one accord. We, the new women, tend to feel more outraged about these issues than the men. I hate it but WE need to start with a little more effort towards mind control.
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Post by recondite on Dec 18, 2012 11:43:59 GMT -5
He can begin documenting all of these occurrrences and take them before a judge. If she is not abiding by the custody agreement then she is in contempt of court.
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