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[mcaz1]

I suppose I'll tell you ladies a little bit about myself and I am happy I found a place to vent my frustrations, any advice would be appreciated.

My name is mary. I'm 23 years old. My sitiuation is usually frowned upon since my boyfriend of 3 years is 34. He has two little girls ages 7 and 9.

The mom went crazy. she was overmedicated and unstable,she moved into a really unsafe trailor park, lived with two gay males whom did not have a door to their bedroom.( im not against gay couples, but when both are strippers and have no bedroom door you have to notice) she tried putting a ppo out on my bf but it wasnt relavent so they wouldnt give her one. called cps on my bf they came they brought police and ripped the house apart, cornered my bf and separated the kids for questioning. something those kids with NEVER forget. but little did she know when CPS goes to one parents house, they automatically go to the other parents too. they found open pill bottles alcohol bottles no running water ect.. the courts favored my bf and granted him full physical custody. nobody wanted the kids to not have their mother around. after going to therepy and passing a pysch test bf gave her 50/50 with the kids. and for the last 3 years ive been puttin up with her nuts. She hates me all the time except when i do favors for her like get them on the bus in the mornings. something we used to have to pay her 100 dollars a week to do for us. she signs off on child support only because she knows we cant support ourselves or the kids with all the money the state wants. she tells her kids im to young for their dad and turns them against me. im not in this for a contest. i love their dad and though it took some time i love those girls. I know im not their mom but i have watched and helped them grow. i help with their homework, get them on and off the bus, make them take baths, i make dinner and keep the house clean, all while working full time. i take a her nuts and deal with it because i knew what i was signing up for. but sometimes it seems so hopeless.

yesterday my bf had a heart to heart with his girls they asked him why mom and dad cant be together. he promised them when they are old enough to understand he will tell them. their mom recently told them they arent together because she caught me and their dad kissing while they were together. (which is not true) when their dad gentally told them no that is not the truth they started crying asking why mommy lies to them. its just not fair...


sometimes i feel like giving up all the hurt feelings of not just me but these girls. they look at me and think i took their parents away from eachother. it beaks my heart daily.

sorry for going on and on but sometimes you need people who are going through something similar to understand how you feel. i dont really have many people to talk to about this, and i try to appear strong in front of my bf and the girls.



Mary

[adivineoriginal]

Hi Mary,

I am not going through what you are going through however, I hope that all perspectives are welcomed.

First, your grown boyfriend really needs to get a grown grown woman. Someone who is closer to his age group and not prey on someone who is just starting on the journey of coming into her own. I can see why that is frowned upon and that age ain't nothing but a number is hogwash. Setting that aside, whether you are 23, 33, or 43, my advice would be the same and that is, cut your loses especially, you being 23 years old. I am not sure what future you and your boyfriend have discussed, but you have stepped into a role and acting in a capacity of a wife and stepmother. He is getting a lot of benefits and with all due respect, molding a young impressionable girl in my opinion. Walking away may seem like the end of the world, but I promise you it is not. Find a nice child-free young man in your age group, and live your life without that type of endless drama. Why sign up for something like that when you don't have to? Obviously, I don't know your background and what you feel about yourself meaning, your self-esteem.

[mvinas]

I totally know how you feel. Its just sad bc they put their own selfishness above the needs and even health and safety of their children. I'm in a similar situation with my boyfriend and believe me I've wanted to leave so many times just because I thought it would make it easier for them if i wasn't in the picture but if not us it would be other girls and im sure your man is just as worth it as mine is. Hang in there!