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Post by MissCollegeChick on Jul 8, 2012 14:16:43 GMT -5
My boyfriend and I have been dating for quite sometime and recently his BM asked him how serious our relationship was. He told her that we were planning to be married and then she suggested that my boyfriend and I double date with her and her boyfriend so that we can all get to know each other better.
I don't have a problem with her wanting to know who is spending time with her child, however I feel that there is also an ulterior motive behind her wanting to "get to know me" all of a sudden. I have met her previously and we chit-chatted, but now she's suddenly decided to friend me on facebook and that we should hang out.
I'm not too sure how to handle this situation. My boyfriend has been very good about making sure that there are not issues and keeping her in place, but he would like to believe that she is putting her best foot forward to help us provide a stable but blended family for their son. Except my bf's mom has told me the horror stories of the BM and the last girl that my bf dated which has me wondering.
What should I do??? I feel that we can be civil and get along without being "friends."
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Post by Michelle on Jul 8, 2012 20:58:06 GMT -5
Just keep the conversation simple, about the child and future plans concerning the child. If she tries to talk about the relationship she had with your boyfriend either get him involved to address it before it becomes inappropriate or let her know whatever happened in the past is just that the past and your role is to be supportive to your husband and her regarding their child. She doesn't need to know much about you and your future plans either. Just keep the focus on her child and your intentions for the child. Keep it light after all having a child with someone creates a deep soul tie and it is difficult to break emotionally so don't fall for the smile and false interest in you it can be used against you in a court of law. Sorry its true.
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Post by jaylady999 on Jul 8, 2012 21:36:42 GMT -5
If you don't feel comfortable with it, don't do it. You are not obligated to do so. It has nothing to do with parenting. Cordial is fine, friends? Different story.  |
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Post by BECAUTIOUS on Jul 10, 2012 6:44:15 GMT -5
Our first instincts are normally accurate. As Jaylady said, if you feel uncomfortable, don't do it.
My SD's mom attempted to befriend me too. It started out innocent enough, harmless chats on the phone. It ended with her talking about her relationship with my DH. "Does he still do this?" "When we were together he used to do this". She used to call ME and tell me some wild stuff...think she lost her virginity to her cousin... Creepy. The ultimate crazy was her telling my MIL that she wanted another baby with my husband. CRAZY. But, she wanted to be my "friend". LOL. No thanks.
I followed my first instinct and treated her with the long-handled sthingy. It was okay to be cordial for the sake of peace but I had enough friends...and the BM wasn't one of them.
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Post by adivineoriginal on Jul 10, 2012 18:38:56 GMT -5
You are absolutely right, y'all can be civil without being friends. I totally agree with the other posters. Attempting or feeling the need to be "friends" (however that would genuinely work) is odd and unnecessary. Keep her at a distance for your own sanity and preservation of your relationship. Don't do it. You are not under any obligation to do so.
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Post by MissCollegeChick on Jul 14, 2012 21:51:33 GMT -5
So I discussed my concerns with my bf over the past week and he has decided to drop the whole issue. We will do a meet and greet around Christmas time so that we can discuss gifts and such, but as of now, things will remain as they are, with us only interacting during pick-up and drop offs or in the event of an emergency situation involving the child. I'm so thankful that my bf is SO understanding. And thank you all for the comments. It really helped me to talk to my bf about my apprehensions concerning the meet and greet
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