5 years and counting

[gdblkmn]

Hello everyone! I'm new here and was a bit skeptical about putting my business in here but i need some objective perspectives on my situation. Ive been having constant drama with my daughters mother for the past 5 years, almost since from the day our daughter was born. I have been and continue to be active in my daughters life picking her up from school after work and spending time with her on weekends without fail. Yes I'm on CS although i don't need to be but considering the drama I've endured thus far, I'm kinda glad i am.

My problem is that no matter how hard I try to get along with her she always and i mean always manages to find a way to start and argument with me over the stupidest things. She is currently pregnant for the second time by a guy she was seeing while we were together 2 years ago who dumped her the day her mom died and told her to get rid of the twins she was carrying. I have unsuccessfully tried to maintain a friendship with her for our daughters sake and i finally said enough is enough when she went so far as to disrespect me and call me out my name recently but then felt like it was ok to ask me favors.

I have not once, since i have known her disrespected her no matter how mad i may have been at her. I could go on and on but this is just a short condensed version of what I've been through. I tell no lies when i say that every argument we've had she has some how managed to take a simple subject or conversation and make a mountain out of it. She has had my daughter around two men she barely knew and lived with one after knowing OF him for 6 months via tagged.

My biggest issue is why in the hell cant we get along? We don't live together anymore. She gets CS even though I have taken care of my daughter with her since day one. I don't bother or disrespect her whatsoever and I try my darnedest to get along with her. Like I said there is alot more I could say that if I wanted to would be a best selling book but what do you guys think is the problem?

[jaylady999]

Personally, I don't spend a lot of time trying to figure out people and their behavior. If she is not giving you a hard time about being in your daughter's life, I'd take that and run with it. Friends? It's cool, but not necessary, especially if she is allowing you access to your child.

I don't like drama, so if our relationship contains any of that, I just assume not have a relationship, not even a friendship. It is possible to parent without being friends.

So just to clarify, you are not having issue with access to your child, right? If that is the case, just let that be enough. She doesn't sound like she is interested in much more than that.

[memyslfni]

ITA with Jaylady, a friendship with BM isn't quite necessary. A healthy relationship with your child is encouraged. BM sounds miserable about the choices she's made and there's not much u can do about that as that is for HER to deal with. I do advise that you keep your hand out of the fire otherwise you will continue to get burned. Tend to your business and YOUR business ONLY which is that child of yours.