Married with BM drama

[emanij]

Ok well to get a quick background I dated my husband for two years before we got married less than four months ago. We are newlyweds and let me tell you drama had errupted thereafter. Well I really don't like my inlaws because I feel they have no respect for me. I have gotten into arguments with my husbands sister and his cousin, mainly because they weren't minding their business. My husbands mother is more of the sneaky type. She of course shows favoritism towards my husbands baby mother. My husband has a child by another woman. The child is now three. The baby mother has been an attention seekin person telln my husbands mother that I am "bothering" her when I have simply tried to be civilized. She doesn't let my husband see his child without trying to physically fight him. She has even gone as far as spitting on him, yes spitting on him. She had told my husbands mother that she would fight me and him for whatever reason. My husbands mother has been in the middle of the drama as well. Everyone makes it look as if im the bad guy when im really the innocent one here. Soon after we got married my husbands bm allowed the child to come down, but only to start with my husbands mother?.. They live about 9 hours away. Well she had flipped when she seen that i posted a picture of the child on facebook, and that I was goin to be around the child. She immediately got in her car and drove 9 hours to pick up her child. She then wanted to fight me. My husbands mother allowed her to stay at their house for like the weekend. I feel all this nuts is a mess and it's hard not to get pissed and go off. What do you guys think of this? Me and my husband are now trying to get a lawyer but really don't have the funds for it.

[jaylady999]

First off, this:

The baby mother has been an attention seekin person telln my husbands mother that I am "bothering" her when I have simply tried to be civilized.

Leads me to believe you are trying to make contact with the BM, and if you are or have been, please don't. You will only be doing yourself a favor. I don't think BM and SMs should communicate a lot even under decent situations. And I think it even less so under tense situations. Don't give her any reason to do stupid shyt.

As for the rest of your situation, If everyone is 9 hours away physically, then you are at an advantage. Put them out of your mind mentally. So what if she is talking to your MIL and who cares what she is telling her? You can't control it, so it is what it is. I know it's easier said than done, but I just don't entertain stuff like that. I don't have the energy. Let them do what they do, say what they say and call it one.

As far as getting a lawyer, I do agree with that. I know they are expensive, but I would definitely try to establish some type of visitation rights and CS will go along with that of course. Any dealings to be had with BM from this point, would be all legal if it were me. I absolutely would not entertain her nonsense. It only feeds into it and in turn you will get more of the same. It's not worth the headache, especially for a child that isn't even yours.

[sooodone]

Hello,
I have a similar situation. Me and my husband have been married for 6 and half years and its been nothing but DRAMA, with my husband's BM. So I do empathize with you. Sometimes it will never end. My advise to you is to find an attorney STAT (there are some who will take a payment plan)
I actually have a "karma" history with my husbands BM. She use to be an old friend who was sleeping with my BF of 5 years behind my back, the funny thing is that I actually got to watch her Karma unfold right before my eyes; there were actually two incident's the other was with another BF when she was prego with my SS. My husband pursed me to the end of the earth and I kept telling him no, only because I didn't want to be involved with that crazy mess. But love is love and you cant stop it and we have two beautiful daughters that I would'nt trade anything for. We have been through the drama of my SS not being allowed over because I was there, but she just recently took it to a whole new level of drama. Back in September she called the police making a police report on me (with my maiden name) that I was negelcting and physically abusing my children. I was shocked when the police came to my house asking if they could see my house and my daughters to make sure they were ok. Anyone who knows me knows my kids (including my SS) are my life. I listen to kid music when they're NOT even in the car, I provide for them (spoil them a little too much) and the worst punishment they get is time out in the corner for less than a minute, but I want to give them everything me and my husband never had. So for the cops to come to my house I was taken back. The officer obviously seen that there was no neglect or abuse in my house and left. We've been through her sending my SS home in clothes that were way too small, my car being egged and my daughters have missed out on countless holiday's because of this c word. But the best Drama of all she supplied us with is the Arizona Child Protection Secvice,s (CPS) visit we received in October. The case is closed now but what a nightmare that was, to have the state come in and question the way you parent, when you know your parenting the right way. My SS has always been cared for, he has his own room with his own things, and so do my daughters. My SS doesn't even have that at the BM house, she has all kinds of people living with her, PLUS she lost her son to CPS because her sister was dealing drugs out of their house. Being a SM & Wife to two men that have this CRAZY B word to deal with is an uphill battle. I even went as far as requesting an order of protection and was denied, but I will not give up. All my kids are important to me and I will fight this little girl tooth n nail to see that she doesn't end up hurting them in the long run and that they come out of this resilient. That's the one thing she has never even tried, to instill resilience in this child. Me and my husband do what we can to instill it in them. One day they will be of age and they will see for themselves. We recently found out the reason she acts the way she acts is because she still loves my husband and believes in her mind she can get me out of the picture so her and my husband can get back together. I haven't said anything to her but if I could I would say my husband doesn't date snitches!

[adivineoriginal]

"Well she had flipped when she seen that i posted a picture of the child on facebook, and that I was goin to be around the child."


I pretty much agree with the other poster, but wanted to address the above. Personally, I don't believe that you should post pictures of the child. If your husband has a page, then let him do it. Nonetheless, it begs the bigger question as to why the BM has access to view your Facebook page? The stories posted are crazy and sad and for the life of me, I will never understand it.