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Post by camcam1 on Mar 29, 2013 18:28:57 GMT -5
If I hear one more girlfriend say she's stuck in this situation people, I think I'm going to scream. You do not have to stay with that man, you can move on. Playing the victim is annoying. You know you're in a volatile situation so please stop the sob story.
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Post by jaylady999 on Apr 4, 2013 22:45:32 GMT -5
Amen!
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Post by Deleted on Apr 12, 2013 15:48:55 GMT -5
I couldnt agree more! If it's so bad...LEAVE! LOL
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Post by Queen on Mar 20, 2014 22:12:23 GMT -5
Exactly...I was 'stuck' in this situation for over 3 years and it then just hit me...BM is not going to change...BD is a non starter as his 'love' for his daughter overrides any rational thought. So I did the only thing I could do to preserve my own sanity...let go of trying to control these 2, and do me.
It is so freeing trust me...you wonder why you put up with the stress for all those years...RUN, don't walk. A baby mama who starts out crazy will never outgrow it. As for trying to make the BD see sense and control his BM...forget it. The best advice I stumbled upon in my 'baby mama drama haze' was;
"You don't have a man's heart until you can influence his decisions. If your man does what he wants to do with little to no regard for how you feel and how it affects you, then you do not have his heart. You may share bills and a bed, but you do not have a relationship. The woman who has his heart (the woman he respects enough to care about her opinion and govern his actions accordingly) is the woman who has his heart."
this was freeing for me - it wasn't about me but him. a man can have a normal healthy relationship and still love and care for his children. This business of pandering to every BMs whim is a sign of weakness and honestly of wanting to stay on her good side so he can stray if he wants to. Men of no character and integrity fall into this trap. if he has completely severed his relationship with bm and truly cares about you - he will step up. In this day of COs - no woman can ever hold your child away from you...maybe for a while but not forever. BDs need to set the tone and boundaries early on with bm.
After my disengagement..I asked him to stop bringing his child to my house for visitations and see her at his own place for my sanity. I wanted nothing more to do with the circus. That didn't sit well with him and he ran. Good riddance. You cannot have your cake and eat it too.
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Post by done on Mar 24, 2014 22:24:53 GMT -5
I agree with the above poster! If even for a moment your guy is entertaining any kind of BS from his BM you might as well go running! I dont care if your a wife, girlfriend, fiance or what! Only a b*tcha$$ man will go along and not set a dumb b*tch straight when necessary! My husband actually just pulled a fast one tonight and I am so heated! Forgive me for venting but I feel played for a fool! I honestly would have bet my left foot that my husband is on another level of maturity but the bullsh*t I witnessed tonight has got me thinking again! Dont put the games past ANY MAN! period
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