Post by sooverit on Jun 29, 2013 5:40:02 GMT -5
I am a 25 year old female dealing with a 20 year old baby momma. I will give you all a little background...
My fiancé dated/ slept with her for 3 months. We started dating 2 months after them. We had been acquaintances for a few years prior to us getting together. I do not date men with children and he claimed he had none. About 4 months into our relationship she called his phone and I answered. After he spoke with her, he
Informed me that she was almost 8 months pregnant. By this time we were living together and planning our future. I told him that he needed to try and work it out with her for the sake of the child but he refused. Over the following 2 months she stalked my social networking pages, made rude comments about me, and told him she didn't want me around the child because I was a drunk and on drugs! I have no clue how she figures I am on drugs and I can not help that she was 19 at the time and could not legally drink like me! (Btw I only drink wine)
She had the baby and did not tell him! His mother told us because she went to the hospital. Mind you she had told his mother that I am a tatted up stripper that smokes and drinks! However, I am a straight A college senior about to go to medical school.
Fast forward to present day. The child is a year old as of today. I haven't seen him in person and the father has only seen him twice. She just put him on child support which is fine by us even though it is a financial strain (a father should provide for his child). She has tried to lie to me and say they were together for a year prior to the pregnancy but I have read the emails between the two and know that isn't the case. His mother and I have built a relationship despite the lies the BM has told. She also took the
Child to California when he was a month old and said she wasn't coming back. After 2 months she returned and said she wanted to meet us for lunch to work out visitation but it never happened. Then she left a VM for my fiancé calling me all out my name and threaten that he would never see the child. She always calls private so we do not have a contact number. We have gone over this same cycle of her wanting us to see the child then leaving the state and cursing my fiancé out a million times in these few months. She is so quick to tell people that he doesn't want to be in the child's life but she is the one stopping him. She cursed his mother out and told her she can no longer see the child a few months ago because the diapers and money she gave wasn't enough (she wanted a crazy amount a month from his mom).
The BM has no job, is not in school, lives with her money hungry grandmother because her parents put her in foster care, and is overall confused.
Here is my issue. I understand that she is a troubled child with a child but this situation could have been handled way better. It is causing unwanted stress on my life. I was once young and ignorant too but she makes me want to just snap. I am afraid that I might go off and/or get violent with her at this point. I am just fed up with the juvenile drama. Would it be selfish for me to just leave or should I stick it out? After all she has to grow up at some point. Am I crazy for dealing with this when I can have almost any man that doesn't have BMD? I do love my fiancé but when is enough enough. Should I have no contact with her? We do want to be a part of the child's life but she is make it real hard.
My fiancé dated/ slept with her for 3 months. We started dating 2 months after them. We had been acquaintances for a few years prior to us getting together. I do not date men with children and he claimed he had none. About 4 months into our relationship she called his phone and I answered. After he spoke with her, he
Informed me that she was almost 8 months pregnant. By this time we were living together and planning our future. I told him that he needed to try and work it out with her for the sake of the child but he refused. Over the following 2 months she stalked my social networking pages, made rude comments about me, and told him she didn't want me around the child because I was a drunk and on drugs! I have no clue how she figures I am on drugs and I can not help that she was 19 at the time and could not legally drink like me! (Btw I only drink wine)
She had the baby and did not tell him! His mother told us because she went to the hospital. Mind you she had told his mother that I am a tatted up stripper that smokes and drinks! However, I am a straight A college senior about to go to medical school.
Fast forward to present day. The child is a year old as of today. I haven't seen him in person and the father has only seen him twice. She just put him on child support which is fine by us even though it is a financial strain (a father should provide for his child). She has tried to lie to me and say they were together for a year prior to the pregnancy but I have read the emails between the two and know that isn't the case. His mother and I have built a relationship despite the lies the BM has told. She also took the
Child to California when he was a month old and said she wasn't coming back. After 2 months she returned and said she wanted to meet us for lunch to work out visitation but it never happened. Then she left a VM for my fiancé calling me all out my name and threaten that he would never see the child. She always calls private so we do not have a contact number. We have gone over this same cycle of her wanting us to see the child then leaving the state and cursing my fiancé out a million times in these few months. She is so quick to tell people that he doesn't want to be in the child's life but she is the one stopping him. She cursed his mother out and told her she can no longer see the child a few months ago because the diapers and money she gave wasn't enough (she wanted a crazy amount a month from his mom).
The BM has no job, is not in school, lives with her money hungry grandmother because her parents put her in foster care, and is overall confused.
Here is my issue. I understand that she is a troubled child with a child but this situation could have been handled way better. It is causing unwanted stress on my life. I was once young and ignorant too but she makes me want to just snap. I am afraid that I might go off and/or get violent with her at this point. I am just fed up with the juvenile drama. Would it be selfish for me to just leave or should I stick it out? After all she has to grow up at some point. Am I crazy for dealing with this when I can have almost any man that doesn't have BMD? I do love my fiancé but when is enough enough. Should I have no contact with her? We do want to be a part of the child's life but she is make it real hard.