Post by My2Cents on Oct 29, 2013 9:58:00 GMT -5
Brutally honest advice right now-I would like it from Jay or Truthbtold, I want to know if I sound crazy (bc I DO tend to stray that way) or if I should speak on this?
So in my situation, my husband has kids with a girl he cheated on me with years ago, her and I have had nothing but problems for years-on her behalf and mine. Its been up and down, friendly to enemies, her buying me mother's day cards, having her girls CALL me saying they want to talk to me, telling me her girls love me, wanting to be friends to her saying her kids cannot be around me. Anyway...At this point, I have grown up and realized how I need to take myself out of that situation and perhaps that might settle her ups and downs. However, even though I have taken myself out and grown up, she still holds on to the past. When she calls my husband (even though its like 10:30 pm) I stay out of it, yet last night he missed her call and texted her back like hey missed your call, sorry, ill call tomorrow and she responds with "call back now UNLESS this is (your wife)" assuming I was on some weird crap, texting her as if I was him. I don’t know what she thinks bc I don’t even behave like that and have told her time and again that I don’t want to be involved in their situation and she can feel free to deal with him on her own about their kids without me being involved at all.
At this point, do I assure her that her reactions to assuming Im on BS are untrue and that I just want peace and to allow them to parent their girls alone and that she has no need to worry about me prying on that whole thing or do I just ignore her reactions. I only ask this bc she is a drinker and unstable and I know one bit of miscommunication will throw this easily in to world war III. I just want to do the right thing and be mature and handle it all right. Be harsh, but what do you think she would appreciate from me, since I see at this point she thinks I am trying to "control" things still as she says. THANK YOU!
So in my situation, my husband has kids with a girl he cheated on me with years ago, her and I have had nothing but problems for years-on her behalf and mine. Its been up and down, friendly to enemies, her buying me mother's day cards, having her girls CALL me saying they want to talk to me, telling me her girls love me, wanting to be friends to her saying her kids cannot be around me. Anyway...At this point, I have grown up and realized how I need to take myself out of that situation and perhaps that might settle her ups and downs. However, even though I have taken myself out and grown up, she still holds on to the past. When she calls my husband (even though its like 10:30 pm) I stay out of it, yet last night he missed her call and texted her back like hey missed your call, sorry, ill call tomorrow and she responds with "call back now UNLESS this is (your wife)" assuming I was on some weird crap, texting her as if I was him. I don’t know what she thinks bc I don’t even behave like that and have told her time and again that I don’t want to be involved in their situation and she can feel free to deal with him on her own about their kids without me being involved at all.
At this point, do I assure her that her reactions to assuming Im on BS are untrue and that I just want peace and to allow them to parent their girls alone and that she has no need to worry about me prying on that whole thing or do I just ignore her reactions. I only ask this bc she is a drinker and unstable and I know one bit of miscommunication will throw this easily in to world war III. I just want to do the right thing and be mature and handle it all right. Be harsh, but what do you think she would appreciate from me, since I see at this point she thinks I am trying to "control" things still as she says. THANK YOU!
I cannot even believe what I am reading right now. Your husband had multiple kids with this woman that he cheated on you with? Wow. Jesus take the wheel, but if you and your husband worked through it, that's where your "loyalty," if you will, lies. I really don't get these situations and what's the difficulty. I am sure you have a life, if not, get one and one without that mess in it and focus on that. Whatever ability she has to call you (home, cell) needs to be axed right now. You are really making nothing into something. 
