Post by recondite on Nov 17, 2013 19:00:26 GMT -5
My SD is 7 years old in the 2nd grade. Prior to DH getting custody of my SD 2 years ago she lived with BM and was not in school. When she started living with us, which was before the custody agreement was signed, I put her in a private school to get her on track because she was so far behind. At 5 she could not recognize all the letters of the alphabet or count past 11, just for starters. With the backstory complete onto the problem at hand.
I've mentioned in a previous post that we have had a problem with BM making sure that my SD does her homework on the weekends that she's with her. This problem stopped because she was only seeing my SD on Saturday morning and meeting at the drop off point Sunday morning instead of having her on Fridays. To allow her to enjoy her full visit I would make sure my SD homework was done Friday night.
Now that she has found employment she wanted to adjust the visitation schedule to include her picking her up on Friday's again. We are trying our best to work with her so we agreed, with the stipulation that if she is late picking my SD up from school again there will be no more Friday pickups.
She has picked her up twice since we made the Friday arrangements and both times she has returned my SD home without her homework being done. I asked my SD both times if she let BM know that she had homework and she said yes. I know that she saw the homework this time because my SD said she showed BM the 2 awards she received for her academics, which were located in my SD homework folder from school! I cannot for the life of me understand how any parent could allow their child to not complete their homework. My SD is in the 2nd grade so its not like she has overwhelming assignments to begin with. Typically, she has 1 book report and her spelling, vocabulary, and high-frequency word list every weekend. For a seven year old I cannot see anything in her life being more important than her education.
I work tirelessly with my SD everyday to get her up to par and now that she is so close to being at grade level in her classes I am, honestly speaking, angered by BM complete disregard for what is both important and necessary for the betterment of my SD. DH is going to speak with her, but I can't see why this has to even be a conversation. I typically cook, clean, do my SD hair for the week and get things squared away for school Monday morning on Sunday. If I now have to add homework to the list I'm going to scream! I've spoken with DH and we are tempted to report her to the courts, especially since there is a record of this happening in the past, and it is in the parenting agreement that homework is to be completed.
Any other methods to attack this problem? I am open to any suggestions at this point.
UPDATE: After DH spoke with BM her reason for not doing the homework was "She's just going to erase it anyway so why bother?"
What I do is have my SD complete her assignments independently if it is something she already knows. Once the assignment is completed I check it and erase the incorrect answers. We then review the wrong problems and she has to do them over. That's why she feels I'm going to erase it. DUH! If it's wrong why wouldn't I? That means she obviously didn't understand the problem. That's how you learn, at least that's what I thought.
I've mentioned in a previous post that we have had a problem with BM making sure that my SD does her homework on the weekends that she's with her. This problem stopped because she was only seeing my SD on Saturday morning and meeting at the drop off point Sunday morning instead of having her on Fridays. To allow her to enjoy her full visit I would make sure my SD homework was done Friday night.
Now that she has found employment she wanted to adjust the visitation schedule to include her picking her up on Friday's again. We are trying our best to work with her so we agreed, with the stipulation that if she is late picking my SD up from school again there will be no more Friday pickups.
She has picked her up twice since we made the Friday arrangements and both times she has returned my SD home without her homework being done. I asked my SD both times if she let BM know that she had homework and she said yes. I know that she saw the homework this time because my SD said she showed BM the 2 awards she received for her academics, which were located in my SD homework folder from school! I cannot for the life of me understand how any parent could allow their child to not complete their homework. My SD is in the 2nd grade so its not like she has overwhelming assignments to begin with. Typically, she has 1 book report and her spelling, vocabulary, and high-frequency word list every weekend. For a seven year old I cannot see anything in her life being more important than her education.
I work tirelessly with my SD everyday to get her up to par and now that she is so close to being at grade level in her classes I am, honestly speaking, angered by BM complete disregard for what is both important and necessary for the betterment of my SD. DH is going to speak with her, but I can't see why this has to even be a conversation. I typically cook, clean, do my SD hair for the week and get things squared away for school Monday morning on Sunday. If I now have to add homework to the list I'm going to scream! I've spoken with DH and we are tempted to report her to the courts, especially since there is a record of this happening in the past, and it is in the parenting agreement that homework is to be completed.
Any other methods to attack this problem? I am open to any suggestions at this point.
UPDATE: After DH spoke with BM her reason for not doing the homework was "She's just going to erase it anyway so why bother?"
What I do is have my SD complete her assignments independently if it is something she already knows. Once the assignment is completed I check it and erase the incorrect answers. We then review the wrong problems and she has to do them over. That's why she feels I'm going to erase it. DUH! If it's wrong why wouldn't I? That means she obviously didn't understand the problem. That's how you learn, at least that's what I thought.
. At a minimum, something would have to be figured out with husband/daddy as far as his input goes. Such is life. 
