Need help please!

[traci0531]

Hello,
    I am new to all of this so I am unsure about how to deal with any BM drama. Here is my situation...
I have been dating my man for 7 months now and we both fell for each other instantly.  He was honest with me from day one that he has a daughter from a previous relationship. His daughter is almost a year old now. I am 21 years old and have never had to deal with BM drama before so this is a whole new kind of relationship for me. My man's BM is obsessive over him and texts him non-stop everyday saying she loves him and wants him back. She even uses their daughter to her advantage which I don't believe is the right thing to do. My man has shown me every text she sends him and what he says back and clearly by his texts he wants nothing to do with her. I guess what I am trying to ask is should I confront the BM or should I just leave the situation alone. I have told my man how I feel about her texts and he says that no matter what she says he will NEVER go back to her because she is crazy. I know how girls are and I really do trust and believe him I just do not trust her. She gets obsessive like this every time he goes to visit his daughter and she won't stop. My man says that if I were to say something to her that she would use it as an excuse for him not to see his daughter. For the first 6 months of us dating she never said anything like this to him in fact she wouldn't even let him see his daughter until the last month and now she is acting like this. She keeps telling him that if he wants to see his daughter on a consistent basis that he needs to be with her and to leave me. This girl is crazy and I need help bad. Any advice will help. Thank you!!!!!

[swazee]

gel, im in a same situation as you.. but what i cn say is, you might as well live with it coz there is nothing you can do to erase her from this relationship.. as long as you know that your man loves you and would anything for you.. thats all that matters.

[Deleted]

First and foremost...he needs to get legal visitation established, so that she cannot be the one in charge of his visitation with his daughter using it as the only control she has over him. I was in a similar situation to this but not exactly. The similar part was that my husband's BM would threaten him with visitation to their children based on her feelings toward him and I and whether or not things were going her way. In my state the father has to hire his own lawyer to establish visitation so it was difficult being lawyers cost an outrageous amount on money where we are at. If this is the case for you guys too, then I understand the situation is like being under a rock and a hard place. My husband got to the point where he said I do not care, I will just not see my children until we can afford to do it legally or until they are old enough to handle the situation themselves. LUCKILY his BM has come around and now we are seeing their kids every other weekend. I prayed about it all often and it ended up working out but we went through YEARS of her trying to use those kids to control my husband. He and I both had had enough, so once he quit playing her games she realized she had no leverage against him bc he wouldn’t play into it. Once things got to that point where she knew that if she kept acting ridiculous she would be raising those kids alone; she had a change of heart bc she could NO LONGER get to my husband. See the only reason these BM's do this is bc the father ALLOWS them to. If they are going to play into the games of these bitter women then you can only expect the results you are seeing. He needs to MAN UP, set her straight and tell it like it is. POINT BLANK> If he can't do that then prepare yourself of a future of CONSTANT games, lack of trust and BABY MAMA DRAMA. Good luck!