Extremes

[wbmama]

Well, I somehow have managed to have the extreme wrong ways to co-parent on both sides of me. First there is my husband's BM...lies (and I don't mean white lies - she tells the "I'm dying of cancer" lies). Oh, how she hates me. I've done everything possible to be kind to her; to make her feel comfortable about her daughter staying at our home. I've learned a great lesson...she is a unstable nut job that will never appreciate who I am - or what I've done for her child. I know one day, she (the child) will grow up and see me for what I am - and that is a caring, loving step-mom.

Then there's my ex's "new live in girlfriend". She wants NOTHING to do with my children or me. They (this woman and my ex) have agreed that I am NOT allowed to meet her because she "is not taking a parental role". WHAT CRAP! So, this 40 year old woman (w/ no kids of her own) thinks that you can live in a home with 2 kids and not take a parental role. I've went back and forth with my ex. So, I gave up. He gets his kids sometimes. Works a lot. If this woman chooses to be invisiable....her loss. I was looking forward to some sort of sane woman on the other side of the coin.

Guess I won't find her in this life time! ;D
It seems that I am the only woman in this mess who considers the children. Working together for the sake of the children that's what its all about... THE KIDS!

[Dee]

Ok the BM of your husband does sound crazy. You had better watch her because she sounds like she has alot of time on her hands.

As for this new "live-in girlfriend" she is entitled to her opinion on about BM and kids (whether it seems right or wrong;) but your ex loves her for a reason. You started going "back and forth" with him to soon because it's not like he said he would be marrying her. Your ex sees something in her that makes him want her and you can't take that awaay from him. She told him how she felt about the BM and kid situation and he's respecting it.
Having said that, when your children come to visit, she should have nothing to say about your children during their visit. Let's see how she will be able to ignore children under her own roof. The only way I can see that is if she packs up and goes away during their visit and ytou know that will get old.

Give this situation some time and maybe after being around your kids, she will warm up to them a little.

[wbmama]

Thanks Dee. You're right... that's why I've let it go. I just don't get it. I'm a people/kid lover - its hard for me to imagine ignoing anyone.

Thanks Again

[downazzchick]

wbmama...Girl, it seems like you have your hands full. I can feel u on trying to be a good step mom. My stepdaughter has grown up and is now seeing the drama for herself. So give it time and it will come. As for the live in girlfriend, she doesn't have to take a parental role in your children's life, but when they are visiting their father she has to be cordial to them. You better stay up on all the issues in that household, because if she mistreats them, neglects them, or does anything out of the ordinary while they are in her presence the matter should be addressed immediately. If it isn't a problem, don't worry about it. Let your ex pick and chose his mates as he pleases.

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