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Post by alissa on May 26, 2008 14:45:10 GMT -5
What drives a man to believe that he can impregnant a woman, then decide that he doesn't want her, not take care of the or child or only take care of the child and think that she will be emotionally okay with it. It is unrealistic in my opinion. I will always be PRO-WOMAN because I am one. True, no man or woman has to be with someone they don't want but it's it SELFISH for a man to think a woman will just put her feelings aside (about the circumstances not the man) and just be friends and struggle with her child while he walks away scott free or better yet pays a check but doesn't put in any of the day to day care (I know some women prefer it this way). Isn't there a male lack of accountability here. Could it be that this fuels CB Mama's? What do you think? Next post Female Mentality?
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Post by memyslfni on May 26, 2008 15:47:30 GMT -5
Alot of times what happens is that "A" girl engages sexually with a boy. Who may have fed fairytales to the girl, which she obviously took into consideration and continued to lay down with the boy. The woman holds all the power before the child is conceived and after....So why try to justify being a CBM...The girl makes the decision to keep the child...and eventually makes the decision of who is going to be a part of the childs life... The man donates the sperm, its up to the woman to decide what happens after the fact...and if she decides to keep, she should automatically assume responsibility with or without the father...CBM's put themselves in that situation. Its funny how CBM's like to ignore the fact that there are other alternatives besides abortion..Give the child to someone who's going to give the child the love that it needs...
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Post by nomoredrama on May 26, 2008 18:01:29 GMT -5
Some women place themselves in a position to be single moms. In my DH's case, she knew that he and she were not in a relationship. My DH was engaged to her but she slept with his best friend, so he broke off the engagement. She continued to try to pursue something that wasn't there. She continued to come around him. He (in his ignorance) decided to sleep with her because it was easy (his words and he was young then). She took herself of her birth control pills for 2 weeks to get pregnant (her words and I still can't believe she told me this). They did not plan to have a child together. She planned to try to trap him by getting pregnant. Her plan did not work, so hence, the crazy baby mama antics started.
In my DH's case, both were willingly having sex but both did not decide to get pregnant. I could almost see if she was on birth control pills and just got pregnant, but she made a conscious effort to get pregnant without consulting him. A woman should not make that decision for a man. It should be a decision that is entered in together.
Even though my DH and I are married, my DH always knows when I was or was not on birth control. I would not dare mislead my DH to believe that I am on birth control pills when I am not.
Women have to take responsibility for their actions. Getting pregnant does not get a man. It only results in a baby....
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Post by nomoredrama on May 26, 2008 18:19:47 GMT -5
In most cases, the man tells the woman EXACTLY what's up. The woman just doesn't want to HEAR what he is saying. We keep thinking that we can CHANGE the man. But, just like we are who we are, a man is who he is. Some women are better at bringing out the man's strong points than other women but the man is still essentially the same person.
When a man says, "I am not ready for a relationship" or "I am not in love with you," believe him. If a woman knows that a man was a dog before you met him, don't think that the man is going to miraculously change because he gets with you. 9 times out of 10, then man is going to dog you the way he dog the women before you. Along the same lines, if the man is not doing right by the children that he had before you, don't have a baby with him because more than likely, he won't do right by yours also.
Men show women who they are. We women just sometimes do not want to believe what we see.
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Post by destini1969 on May 26, 2008 18:50:36 GMT -5
I concur! When a person SHOWS you who they are, believe them!
Women we must begin to take responsibility for our actions and stop blaming men for our decisions whether it's a good/bad one. I am not pro woman nor pro man, I am pro child, because it didn't have a choice in the matter!
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Post by memyslfni on May 26, 2008 19:41:50 GMT -5
Destin, I totally totally totally agree to the 10th power. Women need to take responsibility. The fate of the child is in the mothers hands from day she decides to keep, abort or give it up. So therefore if you made the decision to keep the child, you shoulda made the decision to take care of it. A baby dont keep no man... And if you fool enough to continue havin em by men who deem incapable of takin care of them, it was U who didnt stand for nothin in the first place. Because if you dont stand for nothin you will fall for anything..
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Post by shortydo on May 28, 2008 12:13:09 GMT -5
your right on point tellit.
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Post by shady1 on Jun 9, 2008 19:45:10 GMT -5
I am a women,. but I see both sides. What about the selfish women who put there child's feelings aside for there own. Is it fair to keep a father away from a child just because he moved on or because he is in a new relationship? My fiance's ex-wife cheated on him when he was laid off from work and treated him really bad. He left her because of her disrespect and cheating. He is now back on his feet and doing really well. Of course the guy she cheated on him with left her and now she blames my fiance for her down fall. We just purchased a new house. She is so upset. Saying he never bought her a house etc... She won't let him see the child because he won't come back to her. But she took him to court for child support. She didn't even have to take him to court because he sent her a check every week. He is in the process of taking her to court for visitation and possibly custody. What about situations like this? The male is not always to blame. If she would have supported her husband through good and bad, maybe she would have got a new house.
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Post by gemmani on Jun 10, 2008 10:57:12 GMT -5
BMD consists of triffling men AND women. Period. You got the men who don't handle their business. You got scorned women who won't move on with their lives. On the other hand you have men who will die for their kids, and women who's main priority is raising mentally and physically healthy children. Of course, if you are posting on this site, you are dealing with the triffling ones. Why do people decide to act that way? Ask a shrink. But it sucks for those of us who are sane.
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Post by hybridmommy on Jun 10, 2008 20:25:30 GMT -5
The girl makes the decision to keep the child...and eventually makes the decision of who is going to be a part of the childs life... The man donates the sperm, its up to the woman to decide what happens after the fact...and if she decides to keep, she should automatically assume responsibility with or without the father...CBM's put themselves in that situation. Its funny how CBM's like to ignore the fact that there are other alternatives besides abortion..Give the child to someone who's going to give the child the love that it needs... Well said! |
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