Understanding

[shorty do]

Good morning all

my question to the readers is how to get understanding from the BM.
my situation is i am now married to a good man with two children by two different women. He is not close to his son who is older than his daughter due to the BM holding the child hostage or as she told us that unless my husband can break her off he can't have a relationship with him. Well his daughters mom is alright i guess. at first i was confused by her behavior. she moved to another state (as she said to get away from my husband but as soon as she heard he was in a relationship she hurried back). Till this day she won't admit to knowing about me, like i was a secret anywho, at first she was out of control and jump through hoops to make our life miserable even file CS after she relaize that he was not coming back to her. Sent their only child off to another state so she could finish school which was pretty weird b/c her dad was avail to care for their child (just plain evilness) the problem i have is at time i feel guilty about my husband not seeing his kids just because i'm now in his life. Yeah they pulled that card!! (oh your girlfriend dont like my child or anything negative to make the situation more than what is really was but i beleive we now have a understanding or so i think. Me and the daughters mom can have a conversation about the weather or whatever but i know she has feelings and the only reason she reach out to me is to see what's up or she'll have his daughter call and say things like my mom still love you. everytime i turn around she's crying about how miserable her life is and she'll never find a man. I talk to my husband about it and he is not moved at all about her bs but then at times he'll go on and on about how she said she would never file CS but did anyway or how she said she never cheat and she did . basically im tired of hearing about her and her bogus ways. i feel it's putting a burden on our relationship just b/c i know how bad the past can hurt but what about our present and future dreams. i understand he needs to vent but i feel as though maybe he haven't gotten ove her. can someone please share some good advice

[goddess]

Shorty do, some BM's just do not want to see their BD with another woman it doesn't matter if their married (the BM) or not together anymore it's like seeing your ex with a new chick to the 100th power for some women. Me I have no feelings whatsoever for my BD so I could care less. Just hopes he doesn't have anymore kids...but I'm pretty sure he won't. He's upset because now he has to pay cs which is a pain and still doesn't get to see the kid. He's lost the battle legally so to speak. So he probably just wants to vent about it. He'll most likely never go back to her which is why she did what she did to spite. Tell him to go to counseling and charge it to the game cause he has you now and you don't care to hear about some other woman. Not that you don't care about his feelings but he needs to respect yours too.

[shortydo]

appreciate it and your right..

[tienee]

a man has feelings as do we he probably is hurt and still trying to cope with the things she did and the things she is still doing. Her talking to you is a good/bad thing because she more than likely has ulterior motives. keeping her close is good just watch what you repeat to your man. if he is there with you he is going to be there, but you never know what can trigger his heart to reach out for her. Women know how to get their way and some will settle for anything if it means getting what they want ultimately. so just be careful you can't always use your heart to guide you sometimes you have to use your head

[nomoredrama]

Shorty, misery loves company. The BM is miserable and is trying to bring you into her misery. She is also trying to befriend you to keep tabs on your DH. I agree with tienee, watch what you repeat to DH and watch what you say to her. My DH's BM tried that with me. I let it be known that I have enough friends. I don't want to converse with her like best friends. I don't want or need friends like that. With friends like that, who needs enemies.