Post by gemmani on May 29, 2008 17:18:26 GMT -5
Quick background:
Fiance and BM were together for 7 years. By all accounts, a very violent volatile relationship. He moved out after the youngest was born (3 kids) but still continued to come by to try and work on things. That ended when she falsely accused him of hitting her and had him arrested. That was 2 years ago. Since then, she has refused to be at home when dropping off the kids, she accused me off throwing the oldest child into the wall, she has left them on our porch while we weren't home (they were 4, 2, and 1), she has told his family that he doesn't nothing even though he was paying her rent, utilities, childcare, everything without a court order. I could go on, but you get the point.
I knew something funny was going on. For those who don't know, my fiance just had his cs increased from $450/week to $680/week. His BM claimed that she needed extra child care money on top of what she was getting. This completely puts us into a bind, but we will figure something out. So that night after court, she calls him and leaves a voice mail:
(while crying)
Hi BD, this is BM. I'm sorry for the way things turned out, but you wouldn't talk to me. I want you to come home, we should be raising our children together, our beautiful children. I want us to be loving and affectionate again. We loved and cared for each other once before, I want it to be that way again. I just need to to be nice to me. Let me know what you think.
So he sends her a text msg saying how he doesn't understand how they are supposed to get along after everything that has happened. The next day, she sends a text saying that she can do him a favor and help with the child care. She said she can call the judge and have childcare taken out of cs, as long as he "cooperates". When he asked about childcare, she told him he could pay the place directly. We were trying to figure out her motives for wanting to suddenly be so helpful. I came up with 2 reasons:
1. She still wants him under her control. She needs bargaining chips.
2. She wants him to pay the entire daycare cost without her having to contribute.
Well, he started questioning her about why she would do this after being so nasty, plus about the lies she told in court. She started getting nasty, saying how he isn't being nice to her, maybe she should reconsider her offer. He told her to f*ck off.
Mind you, he's a great dad who loves his kids to pieces (they are great kids) and who doesn't have an issue paying support. He does have issues with getting screwed, which is happening now. How do you protect yourself against the lies and manipulations in court? The courts take her word as gold, and no matter how much documentation he has, they side with her. What can we do about this ridiculous cs order?? Besides him cussing her out, what can he say to her that will stop her from constantly trying to get him back? I get the feeling that there isn't a solid answer for this, but I would appreciate your opinions anyway
Fiance and BM were together for 7 years. By all accounts, a very violent volatile relationship. He moved out after the youngest was born (3 kids) but still continued to come by to try and work on things. That ended when she falsely accused him of hitting her and had him arrested. That was 2 years ago. Since then, she has refused to be at home when dropping off the kids, she accused me off throwing the oldest child into the wall, she has left them on our porch while we weren't home (they were 4, 2, and 1), she has told his family that he doesn't nothing even though he was paying her rent, utilities, childcare, everything without a court order. I could go on, but you get the point.
I knew something funny was going on. For those who don't know, my fiance just had his cs increased from $450/week to $680/week. His BM claimed that she needed extra child care money on top of what she was getting. This completely puts us into a bind, but we will figure something out. So that night after court, she calls him and leaves a voice mail:
(while crying)
Hi BD, this is BM. I'm sorry for the way things turned out, but you wouldn't talk to me. I want you to come home, we should be raising our children together, our beautiful children. I want us to be loving and affectionate again. We loved and cared for each other once before, I want it to be that way again. I just need to to be nice to me. Let me know what you think.
So he sends her a text msg saying how he doesn't understand how they are supposed to get along after everything that has happened. The next day, she sends a text saying that she can do him a favor and help with the child care. She said she can call the judge and have childcare taken out of cs, as long as he "cooperates". When he asked about childcare, she told him he could pay the place directly. We were trying to figure out her motives for wanting to suddenly be so helpful. I came up with 2 reasons:
1. She still wants him under her control. She needs bargaining chips.
2. She wants him to pay the entire daycare cost without her having to contribute.
Well, he started questioning her about why she would do this after being so nasty, plus about the lies she told in court. She started getting nasty, saying how he isn't being nice to her, maybe she should reconsider her offer. He told her to f*ck off.
Mind you, he's a great dad who loves his kids to pieces (they are great kids) and who doesn't have an issue paying support. He does have issues with getting screwed, which is happening now. How do you protect yourself against the lies and manipulations in court? The courts take her word as gold, and no matter how much documentation he has, they side with her. What can we do about this ridiculous cs order?? Besides him cussing her out, what can he say to her that will stop her from constantly trying to get him back? I get the feeling that there isn't a solid answer for this, but I would appreciate your opinions anyway
