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Post by ziar777 on Jul 8, 2008 15:05:20 GMT -5
Hello honey....I have step children too...and your story sounds so much like mine...You know where the BM decides how ugly I am or how I should not touch her child in any way....even holding her hand. I mean it has come down to me dreaming about whooping this chick down in the street....and the sad thing is I am a Christian having these thoughts.....I have prayed about it..My husband has tried to talk to her about it, but she simply has no respect or reguards to anything but what she wants. My husband has to fight through court just to see his daughter every other weekend. It's sad, because she has 3 other children by another man and she wants her daughter to call him daddy and not to accept her real dad who is always there for her. I watch this man beg to get time with her but the mother is heated that he is married to me...I only met her once....I didn't know her at all...but we have been married 3 years but still the same nonsense seems to never change. I sometimes feel myself just punching her in her face just to feel better...but I know that I might go to jail...which she would love and I would have to repent....but thank God for repentance, just in case I need it...ha ha....but on the real....I am tired....because I am dealing with this garbage with 2 seperate bm....and it gets so annoying....and my husband has stood up for us like a solider stands for his country....but for some crazy reason they just keep coming back with more and more and more and more mess....we still continue to be happy and we never let them see us sweat...they always see us smiling, hugging and kissing and we don't do that for them we do that because that's our nature.....They stalk my myspace page and say that we put pictures up to hurt them....I thought....pleazzzzz....get a life....it's called myspace and that means stay out of it....it's mine....oh yeah that's right they were never taught boundries.....oh what a pity.......Please pray for me.....I just put in a call to my sisters to call the girl who just left the most rotteness message on our phone with swearing and demeaning words to my Husband which is now an Elder in the church.....I told my unsaved sister to deal with her any way that she wanted.....I am calling on God...but I need prayer because I am at my whits end...and so is my husband.....We love you all.....God bless you...
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Post by gemmani on Jul 9, 2008 10:47:40 GMT -5
Ziar777, How much contact do they (BMs) have with you and your husband? Start by limiting the ways they can reach you. Try only communicating through email, and inform them that it's only to be used for the kids. Start blocking their calls. They were never taught boundaries? Doesn't matter, set up your own and stick to it. Block their calls, block them from your my space page (if that's possible, I don't know about it.) IGNORE THE CRAP OUT OF THEM. It will probably get worse before it gets better, but you have every right to stand up for yourselves and your household. I know you want to stoop to their level, but that's exactly what they want you to do. They want to bring you down to their level. They want to get reactions from you. Don't give them the satisfaction. Its harder for your husband, but YOU can just bow out of the whole mess. There's no reason for the BMs to be contacting YOU, YOU are not the parent. Take yourself out of the situation and you'll feel much better. As for your husband, just make sure you have court-ordered visitation, and don't hesitate to call the police if she tries to refuse. Take the power away from them and your lives will be more peaceful. After my fiance put his foot down and started going down proper channels, she had no more ammo against him. See, we don't have a real problem with her keeping them away. She pawns her children off to family and babysitters when she has them, so she's very willing to let him have them. Our problem is that she won't be home when its time for drop-offs. She'll call him and tell him that he's keeping them for the rest of the week.........meanwhile, both he and I work, and with the amount of C.S. she gets we can't afford a babysitter or daycare for them. So he misses work. We nipped that in the bud the last time she did that. We refused to give her C.S. for the time they were with us. She tried to start something over it, but we explained it quite clearly. It hasn't happened again. She kept threating to raise C.S., and she did. Then she offered to "help" us (blackmail) but only if we were "nice" to her. Which means my fiance had to leave me and go back to her. Yeah right. But luckily we got a good lawyer and she was outraged at the C.S. order. She all but guaranteed that the amount would decrease drastically. BM got served with it, and let's just say she's not too happy. :)So just take back your control.
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Post by gemmani on Jul 9, 2008 10:48:39 GMT -5
d**n, why do I always leave NOVELS where my posts should be? Sorry for being long-winded all the time!
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Post by angelnmo on Jul 9, 2008 22:25:21 GMT -5
" Well SHE married you and she knew you had kids that were your responsibility, so that means she should assume some responsibility for them too!"
WOW! So does that mean if she were to marry another man who had children, she would have no problem putting up money for some other woman's children?? Because by her mentality, she knew before she married the man that he had children with another woman!??
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Post by youknowwhatitis on Jul 11, 2008 15:03:47 GMT -5
I think BD made the smart decision as to cut down on what probably would've been some big azz drama. It is not fair to ask a pregnant woman to take care of your child w/out the help or assistance of the father. If it was me I would not even want her being responsible for my son like that if his father (providing he had a decent one) wasn't going to be there. But that's my opinion.
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Post by hope4freedom on Sept 10, 2008 14:21:55 GMT -5
I like that last statement, tellit. No, I LOVE that last statement. When I think about my life, I'm so blessed. I have the best fiance in the world, my future stepkids are the cutest kids, my mom, dad, and sister support me. I have my friends, I have a good job and a good education. I have a GREAT life. Of course, with sunshine comes the rain, hence the baby momma! But in the scheme of life, its very trivial. Amen to this Statement! |
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