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Post by nomoredrama on Jun 23, 2008 14:04:46 GMT -5
My friend who is a single parent was upset because she has not received child support from her ex-DH for 2 weeks. Apparently, her DH changed jobs last month. She received a payment at the beginning of this month but has not received child support payment since then. She said her ex has been calling to visit with the children but, "right or wrong" she is not going to let him see the kids until he pays his child support.
Some BMs view child support as payment for seeing the kids. But the BDs don't have that luxury. If a BD does not pay his child support because he can't see his child, he risks wage garnishment, license suspension, or jail.
If BM is anything like my DH's BM, even taking her to court has not worked. It has proven hard to have her found in contempt of court because she is out of state.
The men need to stand up and yell about their treatment at the hands of BMs just like BMs are always whining about the money they aren't receiving!! Demand equal treatment under the law!
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Post by youknowwhatitis on Jun 24, 2008 22:51:10 GMT -5
You'd have to be a BM to understand this one. In your position tellit with your children knowing and living with their father like they do.....you wouldn't understand if I tried to explain it to you.
Sometimes you can't understand things because you aren't in those shoes'. I'm not saying whether she is right or wrong but I understand where she is coming from.
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Post by youknowwhatitis on Jun 25, 2008 17:26:33 GMT -5
Some BM's such as myself I don't mind him visiting our son. He won't do it. I won't allow him to take mind you my son is 20 months old and doesn't know him from Adam. Instead he tries to use that as an excuse not to visit. He's paying I don't mind him visiting but if he ain't paying......In my situation he wouldn't be playing either. Most BM's just want their money. Now if their getting money and they still can't get them sometimes then she is just being a B*tch.
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Post by gemmani on Jun 25, 2008 17:40:25 GMT -5
Its sad to see that children have price tags on them. My mom always told my sis and I that we were priceless. I guess the stock on children has decreased  |
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Post by youknowwhatitis on Jun 26, 2008 10:59:08 GMT -5
It's not that children have pricetags on them for the mature BM it's that children are expensive and a lot of work. If he's not pitching in like he should financially and she has to work harder to cover his slack it drains her physically, emotionally and in countless other ways. Then he wants to get them and play with them when in reality he IS systematically shortchanging his children. They are suffering due to his lack of support. Don't give me the mom should be able to handle things on her own spiel because in todays economy it takes two incomes to really make it. Unless that man or woman has a whole boatload of money like Paris Hilton or somebody. But for the average mom who is doing it alone it creates more pressure, stress and heartache for her to not have the funds she needs and expects. I have been a complete single mom no assistance from dad for the 1st year my son was born....it is HARD and it drains you so that it's hard to give yourself or your child the basic emotional things you all need. Now I receive assistance and it is such a help and a stress reliever to know that extra money is coming.
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Post by gemmani on Jun 26, 2008 12:24:21 GMT -5
That's great. Not the case here. Our BM is just a money-hungry b*tch. She never spends any time with her kids, they stay with relatives whenever they aren't in school or with the daycare. She pays no rents or bills, lives with another relative. She admitted in court that she has no bills besides phone but tried to claim she has to pay school loans (meanwhile, in the same breath she tells the court that she STARTS school in July........its still June so WHAT loans??) We hired a lawyer to fight this ridiculous C.S. order. Its unnecessary and we are NOT going to support HER. She told us that we are wrong for trying to adjust the order. She can go stuff it. What's WRONG is when a man who does everything possible for his kids is dragged through the ringer by some spiteful c*nt who just wants to take him for everything he has for no reason other than revenge. Meanwhile, all the money sent to HER is money taken away from his kids when they come to see him and he's broke. I guess she needs the money to continue pushing her own kids off on others. To HER, the children are a valuable source of income, and nothing more. (They were also supposed to be "insurance" to keep my fiance around......didn't work.) There is NOTHING more pathetic to me than females who feel that they have to pop out kids to keep a man, then feel that its totally the man's responsibilty to care for her and the kid, then gets mad when told that she has to take care of herself b/c his resposibility is with the kids, so then she runs out to get as much money as possible to keep from having to get up off her a$$ and get a REAL education and a REAL job and support herself.
I'm happy to see that there are BMs out there that genuinely care for their children and don't get caught up in what the BD is doing. We don't have that, and that's why I visit this site. But BDs do have rights and you can't take care of someone else if you yourself aren't ok. (Like on airplanes they say put your oxygen mask on first, THEN the child's) Its wrong that BDs have to worry about keeping a roof over their heads b/c they are paying so much C.S. BDs just don't stop living b/c they have a kid.
Not to mention, MY MOM had to raise us on her own, and her and my dad were married! Lived together! But he refused to "babysit" or pay for anything. Essentially, she was a single mom. And you know what? She went to school, got her Master's degree first, then a PhD, and worked full time as a teacher. But she was always there, and she never let my dad's complete lack of involvement stop her. Today, she makes close to $200k a year as a h.s. principal, and got there ALL BY HERSELF. It can definitely be done......I guess if the woman is strong enough to do it. BM is a weak female. Like I said, PATHETIC. But that's my situation.
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Post by babydaddysupport on Jul 5, 2008 22:30:11 GMT -5
In my house there are 4 children. 3 are mine and 1 is his. I am on both sides of the coin. I have a great relationship with both BDs, but neither pay support. One visits sometimes and one never visits. Then there is SS12, my H pays support religiously and she hides the child from him and brainwashes the child and totally torments everyone....getting along is nowhere to be found. I can see the situation from both sides. My kids have what they need because I look at child support as a bonus for the kids, not income for me. I got a job and I provide. There love is my reward and the BDs get exactly what they ask for. There is no need to bash them, the kids figure out what they are about on their own and by keeping your mouth shut the kids love you for giving them the opportunity to decide on their own.
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