Post by Insightful1 on Mar 30, 2008 23:45:02 GMT -5
Hubby & I have been married for 12 years. I have a 14 year old SD. BM took SD out of continental US in 2002. DH & BM verbally agreed upon a parenting agreement. BM went back on everything verbally agreed to & then hopped plane to AK. We have tried to take her to court several times since then but our home state on east coast can only send summons thru certified mail. BM smart enough not to accept delivery of mail, so courts can't confirm if BM actually resides at address. DH has seen daughter 2 days in 6 years. Right after the visit, BM emailed DH some sexy photos of herself after DH sent her pics of daughters visit with us. I had to nip that in the bud!! That was very disrespectful on her part.
Fast forward...DH now deployed to Mideast. DH calls daughter from Mideast & BM asks for "at least $200 extra" child support per month. Tells DH that he is in military now so he can afford to send more. DH was considering it...I told DH, no way!! She needs to stay out of our finances. She has court ordered support & we can't afford to send BM more money. We have two children of our own & we are paying over $1000/month in child care.
Fast forward again...The BM calls me & tells me that she wants DH to send $200 more per month. Says, "I tried taking you to court but the child support is not going up. I don't know what you are putting on that paper. The last time they said he made more money than me. I know that is not the case."
I told BM that she needs to let anger go & stop playing childish games (she has emailed DH several times telling him how angry she is with him). I told her 'what is is and is not going to change." I also calmly explained that being a father does not ONLY mean financial support. It means spending quality time. What quality time has DH spent with his daughter? He has spent 2 days with her in 6 years.
BM says that she did not keep daughter from DH (yeah right). What do you call moving child from VA to AK? All of us were born & raised in VA!! DH has VA visitation order but because BM not accepted paperwork, we have been unable to amend it. Courts said we must either hire a private server in AK or sue her for visitation thru AK courts. We have a mortgage & two other children to support. I told BM that we had our own bills & children to support. BM says daughter here before I came into the pic. I calmly said, it doesn't matter. We are here now & our household will be taken care of.
My family tells me that I am too nice to BM but I am just TIRED of the drama. BM physically assaulted me before DH & I married. She has lied on me. Tried to convince DH to sleep with her (before she moved to AK). Told my mother-in-law that she wants to have another child by DH because she did not want two children by different men. BM's brothers in military. BM has been thru DH's military records. She had nerve enough to fax him his DEERS enrollment paperwork! I, as his wife, can only have access to that if I have a Power of Attorney. BM & DH were NEVER married but BM feels like DH owes her somethig because she had a child by him....
BM is constantly trying to play games STILL. Last year she called DH's cell phone & left him a message that she was getting married. This is the 4th time she was supposedly getting married since we have been married. BM reviews the child support like clockwork every 36 months.
I don't have enough time to write about EVERY game BM has pulled. But, BM is a child in a 37 year old's body. She tries to get me fired up, but I have learned not to respond to her jabs. I am a woman who is very secure in her marriage. Sometimes I just want to go off on her, but I resist the urge because I know that it will give her some sort of sick satisfaction.
BM needs to get a life though. She keeps telling DH that she is getting married. She really doesn't get the fact that WE could care less. We always joke about her getting married. She doesn't understand that we want her to move on because she just appears to be truly STUCK!
Again, I try to handle things like a grown woman but BM is very childish. I tell her what is on my mind, but I am polite when I say it. How many feel that I should just go off on her.
Fast forward...DH now deployed to Mideast. DH calls daughter from Mideast & BM asks for "at least $200 extra" child support per month. Tells DH that he is in military now so he can afford to send more. DH was considering it...I told DH, no way!! She needs to stay out of our finances. She has court ordered support & we can't afford to send BM more money. We have two children of our own & we are paying over $1000/month in child care.
Fast forward again...The BM calls me & tells me that she wants DH to send $200 more per month. Says, "I tried taking you to court but the child support is not going up. I don't know what you are putting on that paper. The last time they said he made more money than me. I know that is not the case."
I told BM that she needs to let anger go & stop playing childish games (she has emailed DH several times telling him how angry she is with him). I told her 'what is is and is not going to change." I also calmly explained that being a father does not ONLY mean financial support. It means spending quality time. What quality time has DH spent with his daughter? He has spent 2 days with her in 6 years.
BM says that she did not keep daughter from DH (yeah right). What do you call moving child from VA to AK? All of us were born & raised in VA!! DH has VA visitation order but because BM not accepted paperwork, we have been unable to amend it. Courts said we must either hire a private server in AK or sue her for visitation thru AK courts. We have a mortgage & two other children to support. I told BM that we had our own bills & children to support. BM says daughter here before I came into the pic. I calmly said, it doesn't matter. We are here now & our household will be taken care of.
My family tells me that I am too nice to BM but I am just TIRED of the drama. BM physically assaulted me before DH & I married. She has lied on me. Tried to convince DH to sleep with her (before she moved to AK). Told my mother-in-law that she wants to have another child by DH because she did not want two children by different men. BM's brothers in military. BM has been thru DH's military records. She had nerve enough to fax him his DEERS enrollment paperwork! I, as his wife, can only have access to that if I have a Power of Attorney. BM & DH were NEVER married but BM feels like DH owes her somethig because she had a child by him....
BM is constantly trying to play games STILL. Last year she called DH's cell phone & left him a message that she was getting married. This is the 4th time she was supposedly getting married since we have been married. BM reviews the child support like clockwork every 36 months.
I don't have enough time to write about EVERY game BM has pulled. But, BM is a child in a 37 year old's body. She tries to get me fired up, but I have learned not to respond to her jabs. I am a woman who is very secure in her marriage. Sometimes I just want to go off on her, but I resist the urge because I know that it will give her some sort of sick satisfaction.
BM needs to get a life though. She keeps telling DH that she is getting married. She really doesn't get the fact that WE could care less. We always joke about her getting married. She doesn't understand that we want her to move on because she just appears to be truly STUCK!
Again, I try to handle things like a grown woman but BM is very childish. I tell her what is on my mind, but I am polite when I say it. How many feel that I should just go off on her.
