Post by lookingforguidance on Jul 16, 2008 17:24:49 GMT -5
Let me jump right to it...My live in boyfriend of 4 years and I were going through problems... basically I had a nasty attitude and was at times, not the nicest person to be around, because of my own issues. So he sought friendship with someone else...someone to listen to him 
. I found the phone bill and WHAM kicked him out, I cried for 2 months 
I heard stories of him and her, he ignored me and basically I was tormented by so many thoughts and with is actions. While we were broken up, my boyfriend came over one day and I had a repairman in my bathroom, he accused me of sleeping with him, all lies but he used this as an excuse for sleeping with this girl. I know that is bull I had been trying to have a child for years with him and we both thought it was that he, that had a problem. He claimed that he could not be with ther because he loved me and we both agreed after many tears that we would give 3each other another chance, I tried very hard, I felt he wasn't trying beause he did everything to upset me and to rub in my face the hell I had put him thru. WE hung in there, we are still hanging on some dayts are much better than others but its still pretty shaky.
Well she becomes pregnant and throughout the pregnancy he kept in touch with her, I even saw her at his family's house, he claims he just picked her up because he was so excited the baby was going to be a boy, I don't know to what extent they saw weach other, but they definitely where in contact. I have been alone for some nights while he "hangs out with his boys", but overall he used :(to be a wonderful man that I loved to spend my time with. He claims I have made him become this other person with my actions. Ok...back to reality no one makes you do anything. That's the background, now more DRAMA, the baby was born July 14, and the baby required surgery and thankfully he is doing much better. My problem is I am just beginning this process and I frankly do not know what to do. He doesn't call me when he is at the hospital, he spend the entire three days at the hospital only came to shower and left again. I went to see the baby, he told me to leave because he did not want problems with the woman and her family. He later apologized for that. I need to know if this is acceptable behavior for this situation, is this to be expected? What if any comfort can I find with this woman calling whenever she wants, him keeping his phone on silent, him having a picture of her on his phone while she was at the hospital, he was with her throughout the entire process, he cut the baby's umbilical cord. He has not moved from the baby's side since the baby was born, until yesterday he came homw in the afternoon, slept all day and she caleed and called his cell phone. He wants to be in his son's life and I understand that, specially now that he is in Critical Care. But I think he has crossed the line. Am I being selfish to expect at least a two phone calls a day to keep in touch, to keep me informed? I feel totally abandoned and yet he sees nothing wrong with this! HE says his son is his priority and that's that...Is this a taste of what's to come? He tells me he wants nothing to do with her, and that he told her he was just there for the baby, yet she calls him when she is home, the three hours he came home, she called him constantly, that is definitely not about the baby...I feel complete out of the picture, well I am completely out of it, but worst I feel I have lost the man I love, even though he tells me I haven't. His actions are speaking so loud, it hurts my ears. Please guide me and tell me if this going to pass, is this phase because the baby is in such a delicate condition? or if I should just let go of the entire situation and walk away. I truly love this man and I knew he was going to be a wonderful father, because he loves children. I also know he has wonderful qualities and perhaps he is just not in love with me anymore. Should I wait a coupel of weeks for the stress level to dimish?
. I found the phone bill and WHAM kicked him out, I cried for 2 months 
I heard stories of him and her, he ignored me and basically I was tormented by so many thoughts and with is actions. While we were broken up, my boyfriend came over one day and I had a repairman in my bathroom, he accused me of sleeping with him, all lies but he used this as an excuse for sleeping with this girl. I know that is bull I had been trying to have a child for years with him and we both thought it was that he, that had a problem. He claimed that he could not be with ther because he loved me and we both agreed after many tears that we would give 3each other another chance, I tried very hard, I felt he wasn't trying beause he did everything to upset me and to rub in my face the hell I had put him thru. WE hung in there, we are still hanging on some dayts are much better than others but its still pretty shaky.Well she becomes pregnant and throughout the pregnancy he kept in touch with her, I even saw her at his family's house, he claims he just picked her up because he was so excited the baby was going to be a boy, I don't know to what extent they saw weach other, but they definitely where in contact. I have been alone for some nights while he "hangs out with his boys", but overall he used :(to be a wonderful man that I loved to spend my time with. He claims I have made him become this other person with my actions. Ok...back to reality no one makes you do anything. That's the background, now more DRAMA, the baby was born July 14, and the baby required surgery and thankfully he is doing much better. My problem is I am just beginning this process and I frankly do not know what to do. He doesn't call me when he is at the hospital, he spend the entire three days at the hospital only came to shower and left again. I went to see the baby, he told me to leave because he did not want problems with the woman and her family. He later apologized for that. I need to know if this is acceptable behavior for this situation, is this to be expected? What if any comfort can I find with this woman calling whenever she wants, him keeping his phone on silent, him having a picture of her on his phone while she was at the hospital, he was with her throughout the entire process, he cut the baby's umbilical cord. He has not moved from the baby's side since the baby was born, until yesterday he came homw in the afternoon, slept all day and she caleed and called his cell phone. He wants to be in his son's life and I understand that, specially now that he is in Critical Care. But I think he has crossed the line. Am I being selfish to expect at least a two phone calls a day to keep in touch, to keep me informed? I feel totally abandoned and yet he sees nothing wrong with this! HE says his son is his priority and that's that...Is this a taste of what's to come? He tells me he wants nothing to do with her, and that he told her he was just there for the baby, yet she calls him when she is home, the three hours he came home, she called him constantly, that is definitely not about the baby...I feel complete out of the picture, well I am completely out of it, but worst I feel I have lost the man I love, even though he tells me I haven't. His actions are speaking so loud, it hurts my ears. Please guide me and tell me if this going to pass, is this phase because the baby is in such a delicate condition? or if I should just let go of the entire situation and walk away. I truly love this man and I knew he was going to be a wonderful father, because he loves children. I also know he has wonderful qualities and perhaps he is just not in love with me anymore. Should I wait a coupel of weeks for the stress level to dimish?