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Post by ty1981 on Jul 21, 2008 19:58:26 GMT -5
I love my fiancee but today as BM had another psychotic episode, I thought to myself.....can I really live with this? Can I really live like this for another 13 years? I don't think I can. This is the reason I never dated someone with kids in the first place.I'm tired of the arguing, the fights, the drama and the BS. I don't need or want it in my life. I don't deserve this.
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Post by sbimiss on Jul 21, 2008 23:00:23 GMT -5
As I read your post, I recall the many times I felt the same exact way. I asked myself the same questions and in the same sequence and I still do sometimes. I too felt that I did not deserve to be in a relationship like that. I felt that I deserved better because I was a good person and deserved to have a shot at a happy, healthy, and loving relationship with someone who didn't have THAT kind of drama. Each and every time I began to break down I stopped myself by reminding myself that this was not my fault....nor was it his fault, things happen in life that we can not control, and that he too deserved to have a loving relationship that we both desire. It is so difficult to deal with someone that has so little moral or values. At the end of the day, something's gotta give and for me, it was not and is not going to be my relationship. Love can conquer and it sure can conquer psycho BMs. Stick it out. You know what you have with your fiancee. She will have to deal with her miseries on her own someday or another.
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Post by punkdude85 on Jul 22, 2008 2:07:04 GMT -5
Here's the truth... my bm has a guyin her life. She went from one loser(me) to him... I make her life so hard its funny. We call the cops on each other on a daily basis but I'm at the point where I want this guy dead and its going to happen so think about it
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Post by gemmani on Jul 22, 2008 11:09:22 GMT -5
Just this past weekend, BM and her family tried to start a fight with my fiance. He refuses to get sucked in. So as usual, they tried to get him riled up by cursing him and hanging up, all that mature and classy behavior. At one point it would have gotten to him and he would have been cursing them right back. Instead, we enjoyed ourselves a nice day. Then he gets the crying voicemails again about how can he just ignore them (Her, not the kids) and she needs him, yadda yadda yadda. Once they got no response, all the drama went away.
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Post by sbimiss on Jul 22, 2008 11:37:55 GMT -5
gemmani...if you don't mind me asking, how long has this been going on? Meaning the drama with the family and phone calls. Is it repetitive and constant for weeks, days, years, or do they take breaks and back at it again?
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Post by gemmani on Jul 22, 2008 14:53:17 GMT -5
No problem Sbimiss, that's what this board is for. The drama comes and goes for us. Well, the DIRECT drama comes and goes. She'll call or text and yell and scream and curse, then it will go away for a while. Happens like every couple of weeks or so. She says and does things between the DIRECT drama to the kids or to my fiance's mom. We'll find out about it through the kids, or his family. Sometimes we'll hear from BM's sister (one she doesn't like) and she'll tell us stuff. I found out she was looking for me on Facebook from the 6 year old. Now that Fiance doesn't respond to the idiots, they seem less inclined to argue. That doesn't completely stop the drama, but it has been reduced.
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Post by ty1981 on Jul 23, 2008 11:13:15 GMT -5
I have no contact with BM. She has never said a word to me......about me but not to me. She does not want the kids around me so I have no contact with them either. I do something else when he has his kids or h takes them out. Until he goes to court and gets a visitation order, I do that keep down confusion. However, even though BM is getting her way she still spazzes out. When DH brought kids back and she went in on me he ignored her.....On his way out she told the 4 yr old he wasnt her daddy anymore. When the 17 yr old wouldnt say it she forced him out of the house and locked the doors. The told my DH if he didnt come and get him, she was going to call the police. I usually let him handle BM....I don't deal with her. The only time I pt my foot down was to go to his father's funeral. The only time I get pissed is when she is crazy at the most inappropriate times....making his mom cry after his father died by saying the kids can't come to the funeral if I'm there. I lost my grandmother( who raised me) one week and my fiancee lost his father the next week. We already have alot going on you think banana cream pie would give us a break.
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Post by bmdramaof2 on Jul 23, 2008 15:40:29 GMT -5
TY Girl..When I read what you write it's everything I'm dealing with these past couple of days have been really hard for me and I understand your frustration.....Keep doin you it will get better that's what I'm tellin myself
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