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Post by tellit on Jul 25, 2008 9:25:06 GMT -5
For those of you who have communication or use to communicate with the BM...Has she ever tried to remanence about the BD? When DH & I first married I had NO COMMUNICATION at all with BM...I was too angry about her physically assaulting me. BM tried to communicate with me by sending messages thru my MIL. When SD was about 5 years old, I allowed BM to call our home...She could only page DH and he had to call her back (I didn't even want to hear her voice). Back to the point...BM began calling our home. I was usually the one that answered because DH worked 2 jobs. I decided to be friendly to her because we were both Christians and supposed to have been Saved.
BM would call and we made polite conversation at first. Then BM's calls started getting weird. She started talking about when she & my DH were together (what he liked to eat, what she cooked for him, etc). I did not want to hear about what they did when they dated. It was water under the bridge.
My question is: Have any other girlfriends, wives, fiancees encountered this?
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Post by tellit on Jul 25, 2008 9:27:49 GMT -5
-I forgot to mention, BM either wanted to remanence or tear DH down to me...She tried to act like we were best friends just because I communicated with her if she called the house. I was only trying to be polite but she tried to take full advantage of it. I was like, call your sister, brother, cousin, whomever but I don't want to hear it!
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Post by gemmani on Jul 25, 2008 17:09:19 GMT -5
Luckily, the BM in my life likes to pretend I don't exist, except for when she's making up some new & improved bullsh*t.
I really don't think she'd have much to say, unless she just lies about it. Everyone who knew her and my fiance tell him that they could predict they would split up b/c they "know how she is". Even after all the crap she's done, they still say its nothing to how she can be.
The thought gives me chills.
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Post by jaylady999 on Jul 25, 2008 17:16:29 GMT -5
Luckily, the BM in my life likes to pretend I don't exist. The story of my life. LOL but that beats a bunch of uneccesary dram. Thats for sure! |
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Post by wbmama on Aug 5, 2008 6:16:04 GMT -5
I've heard that telit! We don't speak anymore - but when we did - she'd always make little "remember this" remarks - or comment on how ss is "like his dad" because he likes this or that.
I completely ignored it.
My hubby and her were barely together a year.
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Post by tellit on Aug 5, 2008 6:22:31 GMT -5
Welcome back wbmama. How have you been? I have missed you on the board.
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Post by bmdramaof2 on Aug 14, 2008 17:43:02 GMT -5
One of my BM would do this to me she and I would talk for hours about it wasnt' that bad until she got the the sex part and I was like oh I can't talk about that with you I'm sorry. i thought it was kinda nice because I got to compare the difference in her and I and all in all he comes home to me. She tell me oh he was such a clean freak and I can't stand that I was like my DH no way he's not clean at all. Which shows me she was extremely messy. I like the mode keep your friends close but your enemies even closer. I don't consider her an enemy we are actually pretty close but I know she's a threat to my and my families life.
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Post by daddyinpdx on Aug 22, 2008 12:02:54 GMT -5
Tellit,
I just had to reply to your question. What baffles me about this situation is that you are a really bright woman. I'm a BD who can see right through this foolishness that the BM is blowing at you.
A BM will always dismarm a household by using two avenues. One will be through the inside and the other will be by the outside.
Inside attact comes through the children, starting arguments with your spouse which affects the intimacy between you and you spouse . She will try to be cool with you (really cunning play) and starting pouring salt on your husband. Works extremely well if you and your spouse have unresolved differences that the kids have informed her about.
Outside attacts - child support, restraining orders, blocked visitation requests, fights between you and other family members, malicious abuse to cars, house, and workplace.
You must remember, that BM's can be very hurt and display malicious behavior to difuse their emotions.
Advice: Keep everything cordial (take notes from Nicole Simpson's Parents when dealing with OJ) only do it for the kids. Stay away from blind subjects and things about your personal relationship. These nuggets of information will become feathers in the mothers cap to build her arsenal to hurt you and your Husband.
Be fast to hear and slow to speak.
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Post by cloudy752001 on Aug 25, 2008 22:11:08 GMT -5
See, I wouldn't even have started it from the jump. Especially if she has done wrong in the past. But no, I never get close to the BM because I did that once and she started to just stop by BF's house unannounced and while I wasn't around because she thought that I was "so cool." I nipped that quick. I realized that I have no obligation to that BM only to treat her child as if it were my own. But all that talking and girlfriend stuff,,, EXTRA!
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Post by jaylady999 on Aug 25, 2008 22:41:43 GMT -5
See, I wouldn't even have started it from the jump. Especially if she has done wrong in the past. But no, I never get close to the BM because I did that once and she started to just stop by BF's house unannounced and while I wasn't around because she thought that I was "so cool." I nipped that quick. I realized that I have no obligation to that BM only to treat her child as if it were my own. But all that talking and girlfriend stuff,,, EXTRA! definitely agreed here. i wouldnt even trust my husbands BM to be tryin to be my friend. i would think that was shady from the jump and thats only becuz she has played the nasty role from the beginning. its cool. she stay on her side of the fence, i stay on mine  |
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Post by jaylady999 on Aug 26, 2008 8:45:00 GMT -5
jaylady999 said: "i wouldnt even trust my husbands BM to be trying to be my friend. I never trusted BM or tried to let her be my "friend." Definitely not. I tried to let go of my anger against BM go since I felt like it was the "christian" thing to do. When BM called...I was less cold to her (I was really chilly). I was in my young in my walk with Christ and took the verse, "Love your enemies" a little too literally. When I started to get bad feelings about BM's intentions, I backed away again. I did not go back to being cold to her but I treated her in a business like manner. I began to deal with her only as it related to the child...Jay, you are lucky. I wish DH's BM would stay on her side of the fence...I know I stay on my side but she keeps trying to trespass onto our property. LOL. you did right. a few months ago, BM reached out to me via email and we in communication for the first time in 7 years. she shared some things with me about why the anger and bitterness and i related to her. we got that out in the open and i knew we wouldnt be friends, but i thought we could be communicable in the future. she went back into her shell, i guess it was too much for her, i dont know. but i think its better this way anyway. i still have her back on certain issues as it pertains to my husband and when i feel he is wrong, i let him know. it aint for her benefit, its just that i was a single mother for 8 years before i got married, so i've been there. but friends, nah, cant see it. you describe it best Telli, treat her like a business deal for real |
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Post by ty1981 on Aug 26, 2008 10:15:16 GMT -5
Banana cream pie and I will never be friends...she is not rational. Ever since I started to just laugh at her antics....her friends...family and even child has said she needs to be medicated. God will set a table in the presence of your enemies. Isn't great that you don't have to do anything, everything will reveal itself.
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Post by gemmani on Aug 27, 2008 8:10:11 GMT -5
Yup, so true Ty. I don't ask questions about anything having to do with BM. The answers come to me naturally. The kids tell me, fiance tell me, future MIL tells me. Apparently I'm a popular topic of conversation. She'd probably like me if she'd talk TO me and not ABOUT me. But she does try to stroll down 'memory lane' with the kids. Poor things are so confused. She told them that the symbol tattooed on fiance's arm is her name. She told them that my engagement ring is fake and that he's saving the real one for her. She told them that they are actually married. The problem here is that her "memories" are fictional, created to suit her purposes. I spoke to MIL last night. My stepdaugter sent her a letter so she called BM to talk to stepdaughter. BM started telling her that her and fiance were talking about reconsiling and getting back together, but its not official yet so don't mention it. Right, so MIL calls fiance very upset b/c she never liked BM. Fiance listened to the story, then started laughing so hard that I took the phone away. I'm on the line, trying to reassure MIL about everything while fiance is still laughing on the floor. Ty, I've been wondering this for a while- where did you come up with calling BM banana cream pie? I've heard alot of names for BM but never that one. its so funny  |
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Post by ty1981 on Aug 27, 2008 22:43:27 GMT -5
Katt Williams american hustle......It's a diss at my future husband.
Katt says.......I'm tired of yall men complaining about yall crazy baby mama's. When you were f***ing her and she yelled out banana cream pie...you looked around like what.....but kept on f***ing the B***h. Now banana cream pie acting up and you wondering why....lol.....when my fiancee and I saw that for the first time I just looked at him and started laughing.....lol.
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