BM Drama Invading Family Events

[wbmama]

Ok...from birthday parties to Christmas to anything that has to do with our family(my husband's family) if we make any attempt to include his and BM's child there is drama.

Christmas was a nightmare - she refused to bring the child (3 yoa) to his grandparent's one hour early - threw a fit - called our house 9 times! And we didn't get to spend Christmas with him until 2 weeks later.

This weekend we're having a double birthday party (my daughter and another stepson) BM again PAIN IN THE BUTT about the child coming to the party. She's rude and ungrateful.

Because of her behavior - my husband and I have decided NOT to invite the child to events that are not on his scheduled weekends at our house until he is old enough to communicate better. What else are we to do? The child is 3 - we are at the Crazy BM's mercy. Poor kid....

[downazzchick]

OOH! DRAMA! She ought to be grateful that you even take the time to invite her child to family events. You could prevent the drama and not invite him and then tell her what a wonderful time you had. Then she would have something to throw a fit about! But in the mean time you may have to let her know that an event is going on, how long it is going to be, ect. and let her know you would like him to come. Then you can at least say you made the effort for him to get to know his family. Is there a visitation order in place? The one we have has every parent switching odd/even numbered years for events including the child's birthday, Christmas, Mothers Day ect. We don't even have to look funny at the other or hear anybody mouth cause we already know. The good thing is that he does get to visit every other weekend. If he doesn't get to come show him some pics and save him a piece of cake so he'll know you really wanted him to come, but his Mommy said he couldn't come. She'll have to explain later Y she was such a B*TCH!

[wbmama]

Oh yeah, custody order signed by a judge. She does not care! I think I'll send evites via email from now on....she may have my email blocked - but I'll have my proof!

16 years!!! YOU POOR GIRL!!!! How did your marriage survive?

[lovejones08]

Unfortunately, the child is not old enough to make decisions for himself so you must come up with creative ways to counteract her negativity. THose times that you all do have the child make it fun times for him because children only understand compassion and expression at that age. Maybe delay some parties until the weekend that the child will be with you all and to hell with telling her anything. Have a small little party with the family then have a big bash when you have the whole family together. Send her evites to the small gatherings play her game but smarter and more mature. Trying to make peace with her will be like taking a toy from a baby. She's going to act foolish regardless of what you try to do to make the best out of the situation. Forget about doing things to make her comfortable and mature focus on what you can do to make the solution the best for the small child. She is not owed an honorary award because he birthed a child. Having the ability to birth a child is a priviledge and a blessing not a special achievement. She thinks she's owed something when she is not. She can kick rocks bare foot only she can change her ways not you.